Page 83 of Power Move
Davey wrapped his arm around the couch. “You don’t have to be tough-as-nails always. You know? I don’t know who hurt you, Eva, but I do want to be the one who proves not every man in your life has to be a grave disappointment.”
“It’s not just the man who hurt me,” I said, feeling vulnerable. “It’s years of thinking it was something it wasn’t. Maybe in your mind, I should just move in? In fact, Ellie teases me about it all the damn time.”
“Why?”
“I moved in with Mona—my ex—about five minutes after we got together. We were a walking stereotype for a lesbian couple. But that issodifferent than this.”
“Yeah, I supposed my house is probably a little wild, but Eva, I’m older and have had time?—”
“Davey, I don’t mean it like that. You know nothing about her—or what we did or didn’t do. No. Her place was immaculate. She lived in a posh neighborhood. She spoiled me with nice things. She was older than you. I felt safe—perhaps, too safe. In the end, she s love as something that can change. She was done. The baby stuff killed my sex drive, and we grew apart.”
“If this is what it looks like when your sex drive is dead, I think she was asking a lot,” Davey chuckled.
“It was different. One, I never got to the horny part ofpregnancy before. Two, it was an endless cycle of drugs that fucked with my body and my head. And it made her not want to touch me because I was always irritable. She’s not like you.”
“What am I like?”
“Persistent,” I said. “Annoyingly persistent. Andfartoo secure when you have no right to be. Sometimes, I wish I was more like you.”
“I will take that as a compliment,” Davey said.
“Look, I like you. I even must admit I havefunwith you. I find you absolutely grating at times, but I honestly adore that you care so much for me despite all the weirdness. I don’t get why, but…”
My voice trailed and my eyes dropped as Davey played with the hair in my ponytail. His distraction suddenly hit me as sweet.
“I… do want to try,” I finished.
“You are utterly infuriating but so engrossing, Eva.”
“Is that a compliment?”
“I haven’t chased a woman inyears. Instead, I found women who threw themselves at me—low investment flings that made me feel good for a bit. The stakes were low, so I didn’t have to try. With you, I must do the awkward things, but… I don’t regret it.”
“Why, though?”
“You are so different. You’re smarter than I am. You’re beautiful. I don’t have to babysit you even if I don’t always understand what you are talking about. If I must have children with someone, I would much rather they be smart, demanding, and ambitious as opposed to lazy, overly attached, and dumb as a brick. Who would I argue with if not you?”
“Literally everyone since you love to argue,” I giggled.
“So do you, Eva.”
I stared deep into his eyes for a minute, trusting him as I hadn’t before. “Do you honestly care what happened?”
“With the person who hurt you?”
“It was people, but yeah,” I said.
Davey nodded.
“A person I loved—or at least I thought I did—forced himself on me. At the time, I don’t think I’d call it anything, but… it was not consensual.”
I watched Davey’s face turn sympathetic.
“Don’t say anything, please. The last thing I want is your pity. But… it meant that for years, I feared men. Shouting makes me fly off the handle. Men who are rough with me, trigger the hell out of me—unless I initiate it. Until we slept together, I was absolutely convinced I’d never have penetrative sex with a man again.”
“Really? Then why me? It was a hookup?—”
“You wanted to prove yourself to me. You got me off like a fucking god. And you wanted me to tell you what I wanted. It had beenyearssince anyone asked me what I wanted—fuck, even what I needed! Also, the idea of torturing a rich guy who could get me off appealed. Sorry, but, I sort of fantasized about it.”
