Page 103 of Fix Them Up
Deep down, I knew he was trying to give me reasons to stay. He said we were keeping it casual, but his actions spoke louder than his words.
‘Do me a favour, Kat.’ Brian wrapped an arm around my shoulders. ‘If you’re considering staying, we couldn’t be happier. For both of you.’ Brian glanced behind us, where Liam was sitting laughing with his dad. ‘But if you’re going back. Tell him. Soon. Because we both know he’s betting on convincing you to stay.’
My throat closed up.
‘I will, Brian,’ I croaked. ‘I’m just – I don’t know what to do. I never imagined any of this happening. I didn’t realise you’d all be so lovely –’ My voice cracked.
I hadn’t realised this could feel like home.
Brian squeezed me tighter. ‘I, for one, have been chuffed to get to know my niece better. So whatever you do. If you do want to sell the house and go back down south, do it. But remember you’re always welcome back, love. Sandra and I have become a bit attached to you the past couple of weeks, and we don’t want it to return to how it was before. Your mum –’
Brian’s mouth shut closed. His lips were a thin, flat line. It was the face of someone who was about to say too much.
‘What about Mum?’
Brian dropped his hand. ‘It’s not my place, love.’
‘Uncle Brian,’ I warned.
Brian sighed. ‘Your mum – well, it’s been no secret she didn’t like it here. Even when she was still married to your dad, she hated coming to visit. She thought everyone was barmy.’ Brian shook his head. ‘She looked down on us. So it was no surprise your visits stopped too –’
I nodded. ‘I know.’
Brian shifted on his feet. ‘Well, when your parents divorced and your dad moved back here. She…’ Brian winced. ‘After they divorced, Paula wouldn’t let your dad see you. I told him he needed to get a custody agreement. He needed to fight for you.’
My heart raced, tingles shot down my arms. ‘She – she wouldn’t do that.’
Brian’s face was grave. ‘I’m sorry, Kat. If there weren’t any reason to bring it up, I wouldn’t have. But I think you deserve to know. Your dad – he was really low after the divorce. He took on the blame because of all the money problems he’d caused.’
I frowned. I knew money had something to do with the divorce from all the arguments I’d overheard sitting at the top of the stairs. Dad had invested all the money in his garage, including a loan against the house.
‘Your dad trusted the wrong bloke. Someone to do the accounts. But he was funnelling money out of the business. Slowly but surely, taking more and more each year. When the financial crash hit in ’08, well, he managed to take it all. He moved abroad with the money.’
I inhaled shakily. ‘Does that justify going no contact with your eleven-year-old daughter?’
‘It doesn’t. But you should know – your dad was in a bad place.’ Brian looked ahead like he was remembering that time. ‘There were times I wasn’t sure he wanted to be here with us. But he came back home and got some help. He was better a year or two later, and I told him to meet you. If Paula hated the idea, I told him to look into custody agreements. Then, one night, he told me. Your mum had asked him to stay away. You were struggling enough at school as it was. You didn’t need any more stress. You needed stability. “She’s better off without me,” he used to say.’ Brian shook his head. ‘Stupid man. He missed out on so much.’
‘I – I don’t know what to say.’ Emotions swirled around me, a storm cloud brewing. I craved to march back down south and demand my mum tell me it was a lie. Tell me she would never do anything like that. But another part of me knew it wasn’t impossible. Mum always wanted things to be as straightforward as possible.
‘I understand this is hard to wrap your head around. And for the record, as much as I disagree with Paula’s approach, I understand that it was coming from a good place. Routine and stability are so important for kids. But Jim took it to heart. He already blamed himself for the business, almost losing the house. Your mum’s parents had to help dig him out of debt. I think he’d lost his confidence to be a dad. A proper dad. I thought you should know that it was complicated. And that if I could, I’d strangle him for not making it right. For leaving you in this limbo.’
It was like someone had added more foreground detail to an oil painting. The details added made sense. Suddenly, memories flooded in of my dad being in bed, unable to get up.
‘I wanted you to know that he loved you. I know it wasn’t enough. He knew it wasn’t enough, but he did love you. He just wasn’t strong enough to show it.’
Chapter Thirty-Two
Liam – To Do
Book Franks
Call Olivia at Manchester Art Gallery
Pick up Kat’s dress
‘White or grey?’ Liam asked, holding up the two bags of grout. My brain swirled, and I was thinking about a million things, and none of them were the grout colour for the bathroom. Liam had fixed a half wall of tiles around the whole bathroom, white subway tiles on the walls and up the shower enclosure. The light from the south-facing window reflected off them, sending white light around the room.
It was too bright.
