Page 113 of All This Time
I nod, frozen by the intensity of his stare. “When you told me how you felt that night, I was shocked, but not because I didn’t feel the same way. I was shocked and confused because, for the first time in four years, Iknewthat you felt the same way I did and suddenly, I had the opportunity to do something about it.”
“Then why–”
“I just didn’t know how to act on it. There were so many things to consider, and the only thing I wanted to do was lock us in your room and worship you for hours, but I couldn’t. Your brother…”
I sigh in defeat, closing my eyes. “Are you telling me that Rhonan is the reason you ended up in the bathroom with Brittany?”
“Nothing happened with Brittany,” he declares, which makes my eyes pop open again.
“I know what I saw, Fletcher.”
“What you saw was her backing me up against the wall, dropping to her knees, and offering to suck me off after she followed me into the bathroom. But what you didn’t see was me telling her no and her slapping me across the face before storming out of the bathroom.”
My bottom lip trembles. “What?”
“Did you really think that I would want her when I could have you?”
My heart is pounding as I blink several times. “But why…why didn’t you find me and explain?”
“I didn’t know you saw us!”
“But after that night… You never talked to me about what happened between us. We never finished that conversation, and then she came up to you at the wake…”
“I tried to find you, Laney. I looked for you for almost an hour, but even Dilynne didn’t know where you went. I figured, you went to sleep or something so I’d just talk to you the next day.”
“What?”
“And then the next morning? Your mom had just died, Laney! The last thing I wanted to do was make your life more complicated at that time. And Brittany? She didn’t take no for an answer, obviously. The girl was desperate for my attention, but we were never together.”
Silence rests between us. Fletcher retreats from me, pushing his hat from his head and tossing it on the kitchen counter as he paces through the dining room.
I’m speechless. Dilynne was right.
What I saw was…not what I thought it was.
God, I think I’m going to be sick.
Fletcher glances over at me, taking in my stance as I feel myself start to crumble. I close my eyes, trying to quell the building tears, but he rushes over, gripping my waist with one hand. “Hey. Look at me,” he says, tipping my chin up and waiting for my eyes to open again. When they do, the regret and sadness I see in his gaze has to be mirrored in my own.
On the one hand, my chest feels like a weight has been lifted. But on the other, I feel like so much time has passed that we’ll never get back—all because of bad timing and stubbornness on both our parts.
“This isn’t your fault. It’s mine,” he says.
“No, Fletcher,” I croak. “I’ve been so hell-bent on standing my ground, on hating you because you hurt me. And it was easier to hate you than to admit I still felt something for you… To admit that my chest still ached because I couldn’t let you go.”
“You had every right to hate me based on what you saw and how I acted, the things that I didn’t say…” He drops his forehead to mine. “I’m so fucking sorry, Laney. God, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say that enough.”
“Me too.” I swallow hard, but my next words make me even more nervous than dredging up the past. “Where… Where do we go from here, Fletcher? Everything is happening so fast that I feel like my head is spinning.”
“That’s up to you, Laney,” he says as he toys with my bottom lip. “But I know what I fucking want.”
My eyes drop down to his lips. “And what’s that?”
“You.” Simple. Direct. And everything I needed to hear from him, just twelve years later than I wanted.
“Then take me.”
Our eyes lock.
