Page 161 of All This Time
A New Pact
“Fletcher.”
I walk into my father’s house to find him sitting in his recliner, his full leg cast propped up on the footrest. He was released from the hospital a few days ago, but I was still in Charlotte dealing with the aftermath of the week before.
Laney let me know that he made it home, and checked on him last night, even though she didn’t have to.
My angel.
“Hey.”
“Thank you for coming.”
Taking a seat on the couch across from him, I keep my walls up because there’s no telling what my father will say. I’ve learned over the years never to underestimate him and always be prepared for a fist to swing in my direction.
“I can’t stay long. I have plans with Laney.”
He smiles, but I can tell that it’s painful for him. “She loves you.”
“Yeah, she does.”
Nodding, he stares down at his hands in his lap. “I could tell when she was with you in the hospital. And when she came by last night, she made sure to give me a piece of her mind.” It’s so strange to hear him speak completely sober, almost like there’s a completely different person sitting in front of me.
I can’t fight the proud curl of my lips. “I’m sure she did.”
“I’ve thought about what you said and honestly? The thought of never speaking to you again is something I couldn’t live with.”
My throat grows tight. “Well, you know what you have to do then.”
He nods. “I do. The hospital gave me a list of rehab centers they recommend, and Laney did as well.”
“You have a problem, Dad.”
He shoves a hand through his hair before turning his eyes on me. “I do. I always told myself that it wasn’t that big of a deal, and contrary to what you might think, I’ve been doing better over the past few years. But then you showed up out of the blue…”
I cut him off, instantly irritated. “Don’t try to blame this on me. It’s a goddamn miracle that you hadn’t gotten in an accident until the other night, let alone that you didn’t kill that couple in the other car.”
His jaw tightens. “You don’t get it, Fletcher. Seeing you live out your dream, seeing the man you’ve become and the success you’ve achieved? All it’s done is remind me of all the ways I fell short. I’m fucking jealous of you!” he shouts before his lips begin to tremble. “There! Does that make you happy?”
I stand from the couch. “You think hearing my own father tell me that he’s jealous of me makes what you did okay?”
“No! It’s not okay. I’m a piece of shit, all right! I fucking admit it.” He pounds his fist into the arm of his chair. “But I want to do better, be better. I don’t want the rest of my life to feel like this—thisshame, this regret, this hatred for me that is so clearly written all over your face.”
And that’s when it dawns on me. Laney may have hated me for the past twelve years for something that I couldn’t control, but I’ve done the same to my own father.
His actions? They weren’t about me. They were about him.
If I’m going to move on with my life, I have to let it go. I have to find a way to forgive him—not for his sake, but for mine.
“Then get help.”
“I will. I—I promise.”
“Good.”
“Son?” he says as I turn my back toward him, preparing to leave.
“What?”
