Page 73 of Take This Heart
I stare back at him in surprise. “Really? I never knew that. Why was she shut off?”
Pain flits across his face. “It’s a long story…and one I should tell you soon.” He sighs again and looks tired. “But for now, I better go. Unless you need me here?”
I shake my head and squeeze his shoulder. “No, Dad. Go…have fun.”
He smiles weakly. “I probably won’t last as long as I think, so I might see you sooner than you think.”
I smile. “I’ll be here.”
“Love you, buttercup.”
“I love you too, Dad.”
I take Kevin for a walk and the fresh air helps clear my head. I’m pushing Milo away, but I think it’s necessary. If I let him in, I’m the one left heartbroken when he decides it was all a mistake. Or when he returns to Minneapolis, and I’m more entrenched in my life in Windy Harbor. Or when the truth comes out and we find out he’s more of a Granger than he’s pretended to be.
Or when he lies again about something else…I think that’s what scares me most.
There are no scenarios with a happy ending for me, so as I told him, it’s a good thing we didn’t have sex last night.
CHAPTER TWENTY
SHARPEN THAT BLADE
MILO
It’s a hard day. A struggle to concentrate, a battle to get out of my head…I’m still pissed at Goldie, but I’m just as pissed with myself.
Her words—“I’m still not sure whether or not I can trust you”—rattle in my head like a loose screw. Hell, I can be the first to admit that she makesmea loose screw. But out of everything she said, her lack of trust where I’m concerned is the blade that sharpens more every minute I’m away from her.
Because I get it.
After what happened between her and that scum of an ex, Wes, she deserves to be treated with so much care. And even though I don’t think it’s exactly fair that she holds the fact that I’m a Granger against me, I understand it. Where I messed up was in not being honest with her.
That’s all on me.
Then there’s the awful reality that her dad is struggling with cancer, she’s already lost her mom, and even though she seems happy with what she’s doing in Windy Harbor, she gave up a good life in Minneapolis to help fulfill her dad’s dreams.
If I was dealing with half of what she is, I wouldn’t handle it as gracefully as she has.
After stomping over the property and staring way too long at the lake, getting some work done and staring more at the lake, I’m not as angry anymore. I’m just…restless. She’s burrowed under my skin, and every time I tell myself to back off, my heart ignores me.
If I want her—and fuck all, I think I have to admit to myself that I really do—then why am I stalling? My career has always come first and I’ve avoided complicated relationships for a long time, but it’s too late for all the normal excuses.
Goldie cannot be denied. Even when she’s not saying a word, her presence demands to be heard. When she’s trying to hide behind her bluster, her vulnerability and strength demand to be seen.
God help me, I don’t know what to do with all these fucking feelings.
That night, when I’m back at the apartment over Kitty-Corner Cafe, I call my mom. She answers on the first ring.
“Hey, son. How are you?”
“I’m…okay.” I let out a long sigh.
“That answer didn’t convince me! What’s going on?”
“I care about Goldie Whitman. More than I saw coming.” I run my hand through my hair, tugging it as I groan. “I think I’m falling for her, Mom.”
Her laugh is shaky. “Wow, Milo. This is…” Her voice cracks and sounds teary when she says her next words. “I’m so happy for you, son. But why do you sound so troubled?”
