Page 90 of The Marriage Deal
The forever after that I so desperately want withhim.
“Honey, show us the dress,” Mom calls from the other side of the blush pink curtain.
I’m about to tell her this isn’t the dress. That I hate it. It’s awful and I won’t wear it.
But there’s a lump in my throat threatening to cut off my air supply. For a moment, I can’t speak at all. Emotion becomes too much and salt stings my eyes.
It’s a moment too much for Mom. The curtain shifts and Mom is there.
The worried line between her eyes vanishes the moment she sees me. Her hands lift to catch her gasp. “Oh, baby.” She drops her hands to give me a shining smile. There’s salt in her eyes now too, for an entirely different reason. “Oh, this is the dress.”
I shake my head, but I still can’t speak. I’m helpless to fight the pull when Mom’s hand closes around my wrist. She tugs me from the room, and everyone gasps.
They coo and cluck over the dress, but I think Madelyn sees through it to the pain I do my best to bury deep. I can tell she wants to press, but she bites her tongue.
Instead, she asks, “Is this the dress?”
“It’s my dream dress.” A tear slips free. Everyone mistakes it as a happy tear—a tear of overwhelm—but Madelyn reads it for what it is. I’ll wear my dream dress to my fake wedding. I’ll give another part of me to a man I’ll never get back. I’ll give another piece of me to a man who gives me only fake in return.
I truly break down at that thought, my heartshattering in my chest. They think it’s emotional overwhelm, but Madelyn pulls me close, whispering, “You’ll survive. I promise, you’ll survive this.”
I get the dress. I suffer through lunch and the ride home in Shana’s car—she wouldn’t take mine, convinced that it’s not road worthy.
I’m exhausted by laughing when I wanted to cry. I’m spent from the smiles when I only wanted to hide. So, when Shana pulls into the drive and I see an SUV I don’t recognize parked beside Briggs’ truck, I sort of want to die.
Then my fake fiancé—whom I’m now sleeping with—steps out onto the front porch, looking utterly delectable in his boots and cowboy hat. I sort of hate that I know what he hides behind those snug jeans. That I know what he feels like inside me.
I hate it because I’m going to crave it until I take my very last breath, I’m certain.
“Are you okay, sweetie?” Shana asks gently.
I startle, tearing my eyes from Briggs. “Yes.”
“You feel a little fragile to me. You know I’m here if you need to talk about anything, right?”
I nod, but again I can’t seem to shove that frog from my throat.
“Briggs has a little surprise for you,” she tells me. “He’s very excited.”
I force a smile I know shakes before I exit her car to find my fiancé striding toward me. My heart gives alurch inside my chest. His eyes drop to my lips. He frowns.
“How was your morning?”Is that concern I hear in his voice?
“It was good.”
His eyes scan my face like he can read the truth beneath my bright smile.Can he?
His eyes flick to his mom. I’m pretty sure I see a muscle pop in his jaw. “Everything go smooth?”
Shana fights a smile as she assures, “It did.”
His eyes come back to me. There’s a frown knitting his brow. “Did you find a dress?”
I nod, but Shana says, “It’s utter perfection. She loved it so much she cried.”
His eyes are soft as they search mine. “You cried?”
I brush it off. “Just a few tears.”
