Page 26 of Shadows Within
I head to the elevator and press the button, waiting impatiently for it. Once I get down to the main floor, I grab my car from the valet and tightly grip the wheel. I need to see her. She needs to be okay and untouched by all of this. Trying to concentrate on driving, I drown out the thoughts of what could happen if she is impacted.
I don’t think before I get out of the car, and I walk over to the side of her house. Stepping over the green hedges, I grab the trellis. I don’t struggle as I make my way up to her window that’s cracked open. As I slip inside, she doesn’t move.
Her limbs are wrapped under her bed sheets and the moonlight shines across her face. I stand over her and know that her world is closing in. I hate that I’m a part of it.
She looks so graceful when she sleeps, like the world has never touched her and no one has ever hurt her, but that’s not the reality. I hold my hand just above her face, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from her skin, but not close enough to steal it. If I touch her, I don’t think I’ll stop. Even with hereyes closed, she makes me feel like I’m worth saving. She doesn’t know it yet, but I’ll ruin her. And the worst part? I’ll do it gently.
I climb back down the trellis then light a cigarette. Cold hits my chest but the heat of her stays on my skin. She burns me without even knowing it.
Smoke isn’t enough for me right now. I need something harder, something violent.
I try to leave quietly in my loud car— I don’t want to wake her. The drive doesn’t take me long, even though it’s two towns over.
The alley behind the club, The Underground, smells like sweat and blood. It feels like the closest thing to a home right now. It used to be a night club, but now it’s a place for people who need more, like me.
I hear loud, familiar voices as I get closer to the building. I push through the door, ducking past the bodyguard. No one asks questions here, that’s why I like it. Through the lobby's low light, I can see the black paint flaking off the walls. I walk toward Johnny, the club organizer, and pay him my entry fee. I make my way through the crowd of people.
Standing on the sidelines, I watch the main fight until it’s my turn.
The first hit lands sharp on my jaw and I smile—I’ve got this.
The crowd gets louder as the taste of metal fills my mouth, and just for a few seconds the world disappears. No warmth and no softness. No guilt, just pain. Just me.
Fire
Scarlett
Tonight, I need to relax. I’ve been so busy with exams and boxing that I haven’t taken any time to unwind. I paint my toenails bright red, the lamp on my bedside table casting just enough light that I can see each coat I apply.Cigarette’s After Sexplays in my headphones and almost instantly, everything else that’s going on in my head tries to fade. Usually, I enjoy stillness and quiet, but tonight the lack of noise made me anxious. I needed something to distract me, hence the toenail painting.
I chew the inside of my cheek as the polish brush flattens against my pinky toenail. I twist the lid back onto the glass nail polish bottle and open my bedside table drawer, pulling out some Sour Patch Kids gummies. I pop them in my mouth, one at a time— yellow, red, orange, green, and blue. The order must stay the same. It’s something I do when I’m anxious. Seven years ago, when I was sixteen, I read that eating something sour helps with feeling anxious, and it’s always stuck.
My phone buzzes and the screen lights up on my desk. I carefully try to keep my toes separated and reach over to grab it.
Callum:You going?
No context. I know that he’s talking about the party at the Bronsen brother’s tonight. My thumb hovers over the screen and a hundred snarky remarks pop into my head.
Scarlett:Didn’t think you cared.
Delete.
Scarlett:Why?
Delete.
I sigh and place the phone beside me, on the bed. I don’t need to reply right away. My chest tightens in a familiar way. My phone buzzes again.
Sophia:I’m coming over.
I’m not going out tonight. I already said no to Sophia. She can come over and get ready for the party, but I plan to stay home and watch a movie.
Scarlett:Sure, but I’m not going with you.
Sophia:;)
Ten minutes later, Sophia bursts open my bedroom door.
“Hey Scar. Where’s Jake?”
