Page 52 of Shadows Within
“I get that. Are you going to school soon?”
“I’m not sure what I’m doing today. I might just go to the gym and work on my paper after.”
He nods and smiles. “Come say bye before you leave,” he says and shuts the door. I hear him step down the stairs.
I place my mug on the nightstand beside me before I slide down, back underneath the covers. I don’t want to face anyone today or show up at school, pretending like I’m okay. When I can’t hide behind fake smiles and boxing gloves, I need to embrace the darkness.
I throw the covers off and walk over to my closet. I stretch my arms above my head and examine the clothes hanging on the rack.I’m definitely not going to school.
I walk over to my dresser, pull on some sweatpants, pick out a sports bra, and throw an oversized hoodie overtop. In the bathroom, I brush my teeth. Before I turn the light off, I notice my reflection in the mirror. The person looking back at me isn’t the girl I once was. My hair looks the same, but it feels heavier. My eyes are identical, but they feel tired. My body isn't different, but it feels beat down. I walk downstairs and grab my gym bag before heading out to my car. I don’t see Dad in the house—he must’ve started working.
I open the garage door and poke my head in. “I’m headed to the gym. I’ll be back in a bit.”
He lifts his head out from the hood of a car and smiles.
“Okay honey. I was thinking takeout for dinner. Chinese?”
“Sure Dad, love you.”
A thin layer of frost coats my windshield, slowly melting in the sun. I get in the car and wait for the window to defrost. I pull my phone out of my bag—I purposely haven’t looked at it all morning. I open the screen to twelve missed calls and five texts. Two of the calls are from Sophia, she must’ve found out. It’s likely that Callum told Harrison, and I’m sure he told Stirling, they are brothers. I click on the messages.
Three were from last night.
Callum:Please, let me explain. I can fix this.
Callum:Scarlett, please let me see you. I need to see you.
Callum:You are everything good in my life.
Two are from this morning.
Callum:You can ignore me Angel, but that won’t stop me from trying.
Sophia:I’m here when you’re ready to talk. XO. I love you, Sis.
I throw my phone in the passenger seat and drive to the gym. I can’t believe he thinks I’d want to talk to him. I shake my head and turn up the radio, trying to find an escape in the music. Radiohead pluses through the speakers but my mind drifts back to him. I need space to figure out what to make of all of this. I wonder if Callum is used to fights like this.Surely, he’s been in a relationship before. Hasn’t he?If he doesn’t have a good demonstration of what healthy boundaries are, then thisall makes a lot more sense. I linger on the thought—will he ever understand the boundaries I’m putting in place?
I pull into the gym parking lot, grab my bag, and walk in. I don’t remember the drive. Today, the space doesn’t greet me with the familiar smell that is usually comforting. Instead, it feels like a task I’m checking off a list, not something I love doing. I go over to my locker and shove my bag in the small space. I pull my gloves out.
“Hey Scar,” a familiar voice startles me from behind. “I have thirty minutes until my next match. Hop up in the ring and we can have a quick round.” Ricco doesn’t move as I shut the locker and turn around to face him. Before I say anything, I know he can read my expression by the lack of enthusiasm on my face.
“I’m just going to hit the bags today, but thanks.” I walk around him.
I don’t hear him move.
“Scar, you okay?” He responds quickly. I don’t want to tell him anything, but he knows me well enough by now.
“I’m just having a day, Ricco. Take the time to relax or clean the machines for the tenth time today while you wait.” My jab hits him harder than my fists ever have.
“You’re allowed to have bad days Scarlett, but don’t take them out on me.” He steps toward me. “Save it for the bags, give them one hell of a go.” He looks me up and down. “Let it all out, kid.” I break our eye contact as tears begin to pool. I smile at him, but he doesn’t return it. He turns around and walks away.
I head over to my favourite bag, that’s tucked away from everything else. I slide my gloves on, expecting to feel the rush take over my body, but it never comes.
I’m so furious— at Mom, at Callum, at this damn Society I know nothing about. I hate that I’m letting these issues consume me. I wouldn’t be mad at Mom if she was just honest. Instead, everything stings that much more. I grab the bag, unable toswing at it, and gently push it away. I can’t. Not today. I close my eyes and exhale.
When I open them, I take my gloves off and rush to my locker to grab my stuff. Before I can run into Ricco, I hurry out. I unlock the car door, throw my bag in, and grab my phone.
I go to my contacts and look for the only one I want to talk to.
