Page 54 of Shadows Within
The silence in the room is broken by a scoff. All eyes fly to Jasper as rage boils over within me. He’sdone.
Leo’s eyes shift onto Jasper, then back at me. He nods his head once, enough to summon me. That’s all it takes to be reminded of my role here. I walk toward Jasper, my fists balled at my sides.
“We all know that your head hasn’t been in it lately, Mercer.” Jasper throws at me. That’s all I let him get out before I make contact. Without hesitation, my fist lands on Jasper’s face. Blood pours down his nose. I grab his shirt with my otherhand, steadying him. My knuckles hit him, repeatedly, his blood splattering all over my white Tom Ford button up shirt. I can’t stop. The sound of his face caving in doesn’t slow me down, it pushes me further. He had his chance, and he blew it when he killed Emily. Everyone knows that you don’t get two chances, not with The Society.
Jasper loses his balance as I slowly lower him to the ground and hover over top of him, on my knees. Blood and spit fly from his mouth.
“Please…” He faintly pleads.
My swollen fist meets his face one more time. I pick up his head and smash it into the ground. I stare into his lifeless eyes. This is my job—defending The Society. And I don’t have it in me to stop.
My mind goes to her and all the ways that I’ve let her down.This is why she shouldn’t want me.The pain compels me. I grunt loudly and grab his head in my hands.
Just then, I feel a warm touch on my shoulder, and I look to Harrison. He doesn’t have to tell me, I know what I’ve done.
I let go of Jasper and roll off of him, landing on my back. I look up at the crown molding that lines the room— a display of elegance and class in a place full of darkness and horror.
“Thank you, Callum. You never fail to show The Society your loyalty.” I remain on the ground, unable to look his way. “Everyone, clear the room.” Leo stands and does up the button on his jacket. He leans into Harrison as he passes us. “Make sure this gets cleaned up. I’ll deal with the others.”
He stands over me and nods. Everyone leaves the room after Leo—a sign of respect mixed with fear. Fear of what they just saw, and fear of their future.
“She shouldn’t have done this. Doesn’t she know what I am?” Harrison doesn’t answer, he just listens. “Doesn’t she know what I do? That I hurt people? That’s what we alwaysfucking do… for them. For all of them.” My voice turns hoarse. I sit up and cradle my hands between bent knees. I feel Harrison’s eyes on me, watching me combust.
“She doesn’t know because you won’t show her.” His voice breaks the silence. “Do you want her to know this side of you? The one that kills? The one that craves darkness?”
“I don’t want her to see it, but I know if I don’t show her, it will ruin us.” The truth that I’ve been concealing from myself finally slips out.
“If she doesn’t see all the different sides of you, how are you going to let her in?”
She’s already in. She’s crawled her way inside of me, unable to escape even if I try to force her out.
I don’t tell Harrison that. I stand up, fix my shirt, and look at the mess I’ve made— the life I’ve taken. The fact that I’ve “shown my loyalty” makes it worse. I did it for them. They know that as long as I have nothing to lose, they can keep using me as their weapon. And they’ve already hurt the one thing that I want. The one thing that I need.Her.I see red.
I pick Jasper up by his arm and his leg and throw him over my shoulder. I don’t care about the mess that follows.
“I can help you.” Harrison pleas as he follows, downstairs to the crematory. I don’t answer.
I place Jasper on the big metal table, flick the machine on, and watch it warm up.
Flames scorch my eyes as I watch heat fill the small space inside. The Society won’t take this pleasure from me. I don’t hear Harrison, but I know that he’s sitting at the bottom of the stairs, quietly waiting and plotting. I say the only thing that I know.
“I can fix this.”
“What do you need me to do?” Harrison asks. I need to handle this myself. If something goes wrong, I can’t bring him down with me.
“Clean this up.” I walk past and squeeze his shoulder.
I get to the top of the stairs and find Leo waiting for me.
“What are you going to tell his parents?” I ask.
“His dad knows what’s at risk.” His eyes are as cold as his tone. He glances at the blood on my shirt. “Your dad will be happy with this. I think he’s been worried about your loyalty after you left the party.”Why is he telling me this?We aren’t close, and it’s disobedient to give away another Higher—especially my father, their silent leader.
“He should question my morale more than my loyalty.”
Leo smirks. “Comments like that will get you into trouble, Callum. What you do for The Society should never question morale, only strengthen it.”
I stare at him with a flat face. They have created a monster who is afraid of no one, even them.
