Page 68 of Shadows Within
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I wake up before the sun, grab my housecoat, and head downstairs. Dad sits at the table reading his newspaper. The smell of coffee helps me wake up.
“Morning, kiddo.” His eyes lift from the paper and up at me.
“Morning, Dad.” I walk over, grab a mug, and fill it with coffee, hoping it will bring me back to life after tossing and turning for most of the night.
“Did you know this kid?” He opens the paper so I can see.
A picture of Jasper Fontaine is placed in the top corner of the obituaries page. I went to middle school with Jasper—he was a couple of years younger than me, but I know his family.
“Yeah, what happened?” I just saw him at Langford a couple of weeks ago.
“He died. No details. His parents are having a celebration of life next week. You didn’t hear anything on campus?”
“No, I’m surprised that I didn’t.”
“Two young town members dead in a couple months—things like that don’t happen here in Millhaven.” He sips his coffee and goes back to reading the paper. I don’t know how to answer.
“I’m headed to the gym soon. Busy day?” I take a sip, unable to shake the flutter that creeps into my chest.
“Yeah, not too bad. Want to have dinner together later?”
“Sure. Let me know if you want me to pick something up on my way home.”
“Okay honey. Be safe, text me when you get to school.” He puts the paper down and stands, facing the shop.
I laugh. “Dad, nothing is going to happen to me.”
“Well, I’m sure their parents didn’t think so either.”
“Okay, you’re overreacting. I’m going to shower then head out. Love you.” I put my hand on his shoulder before I make my way up to the bathroom.
I think about what Dad said. “Things like this don’t happen in Millhaven.”
I try to brush my uneasy feelings away and get in the shower, but thoughts of Jasper and Emily fill my mind.What happened to them? And why do I have the urge to ask Callum about it?
Signed, Sealed, Delivered
Callum
I needed to get out of there. I couldn’t bare it.Will she ever be able to forgive me when she finds out that I’m not who she thinks I am?
The yellow light from the old lamppost leads me to my car, even though I don’t really need the help. I’ve walked this path a thousand times before.
I sit in the driver’s seat and grip the steering wheel.I need to feel something, I need to stay grounded.She’s the only thing I want to protect, and instead it feels like I’m shattering her. I can’t look back at her house.
I hit the wheel with the palm of my hand, repeatedly. I can’t be what she wants me to be, but she’s already everything. My hands shake as I grab the cigarette pack on my dash. The violent urge to hurt someone overpowers me.
I pull a cigarette out of the pack and light it with the Zippo.Finally.The sweet inhale doesn’t feel like it’s usual release. There’s so much I want to tell her, so much she needs to know. My head falls back against the headrest—her world is currently crumbling. I need answers, and there’s only one place I’m going to get them.
I shift my car into drive. The engine roars as the pedal meets the ground. For a split second, I forget about protecting myself. I pause and look up at her window. The curtain moves.
She’s watching me leave.
I can’t care about protecting myself anymore, it’s all about her now— it has been for a while.
Ashes fall from the cigarette and onto my pants. I don’t understand why everyone around me cares so much about fashion. Of course, it’s a reflection of who we are, but what is it for those that try to hide parts of themselves? Mother does it so well. She pretends that she’s royalty, even though she was raised to obey someone else. She was taught at a young age that even a hair slightly out of place could cost you your future husband, and I was taught to recognize that perfection.
