Page 19 of The Monster I Loved
I felt him smile against me, moving his tongue around and using his fingers to stroke my G-spot.
The orgasm shook my entire body. He didn’t stop until I stilled.
My eyes bolted open, and I took sharp breaths in panic. My throat was dry. I just lay there staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what type of nightmare I had just had to leave me so breathless.
Minutes passed, and I remained wide-eyed, frozen in place. The dream came back to me, and repulsion overwhelmed me.It wasn’t real.I would never fucking do that. Not now.
Shame engulfed me as my dad’s face flashed in my mind. My dream felt like some kind of hellish betrayal to him. After spending too long staring at the ceiling, I felt my breath finally slow to normal. My body remained tense, and when I lifted a hand to my forehead, it came away slick with sweat.
I couldn’t get up.
A shiver ran through me. I finally mustered up the courage to open my dry mouth and admit the most horrifying part. I was enjoying myself in the dream.
No, I mean nightmare. . .
Not only did I have to risk seeing Thaddeus around town, but he was now haunting my dreams. He was, annoyingly, at the forefront of my mind. It was just my brain’s way of coming to terms with him being back in town. That was all it was. As I tried to justify the dream, I could still feel the electricity of his tongue on my skin.
Bright and early,I hurried through the door, trying to make a crucial decision. Should I arrive at the appointment with Marni on time, or show up a couple of minutes late with a coffee in hand? I needed coffee. I sped down the street, the decision already made. There was no way I could get through a session without my liquid courage, not after the nightmare of a night I’d had. As the light turned green, I steered left into the parking lot and ran from the car toward the shop. I said a silent prayer that the line wouldn’t be long. As I pushed the door open, the scene before me crushed my hopes. The coffee shop overflowed with people. I lifted my phone to send Marni’s secretary a message.
Stuck in traffic, I’ll be ten minutes late.
Yes, it was a lie, but it seemed better than,You can wait, I need my coffee.When I finally reached the front of the line, I gave the barista my order. “One large pumpkin spice Americano.”
Her face wrinkled in what looked to be disgust. “Americano?”
“Yes,” I said, offended that I had to explain my preference, especially when I was running late.
She began to ring up my order, and I thought that was the end of it. “I don’t know how you young people can drink that. Adding pumpkin spice to it doesn’t really make it taste any better, does it?”
My jaw dropped. Was I getting scolded? She was obviously new. I’d been coming here for years, and I’d never seen her before. “Can you please just ring up my order?”
“Anything else?” she asked, plastering a fake customer service smile on her face.
“No.” I pulled out my credit card and tapped it against the machine.
“Thank you.” I hoped she’d caught the sarcastic tone in my voice. I made my way to the other side of the counter to wait for my drink.
The second I arrived, I heard, “One pumpkin spice Americano.”
A couple of others had been waiting for a while, so I knew it wasn’t mine. At least I wasn’t the only one to have asked for such an apparently scandalous drink.
“Thad?” an employee announced.
I froze when the server held the drink in his hand and looked around.
“Thad?”
I couldn’t catch a break. Let it be another Thad and not the murdering son of a bitch I was on my way to therapy to complain about.
“Thad. Your pumpkin spice Americano.”
Damn it. It was him. Thaddeus was the one who introduced me to the drink. Shaking my head, I debated turning to look when I was shoved to the side as he stepped forward. Hiscologne flooded my senses, and I nearly lost interest in waiting for my coffee.
“Miss, yours is ready too,” the barista said, a different one from the rude person who had taken my order.
Thad looked around to see who the man was talking to, and then looked away, like I was nobody. Damn, I wished I could perfect the ‘you don’t exist to me’look like he had. His indifference felt like a knife in my stomach.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped forward and grabbed my coffee. Thaddeus walked away when I reached the counter.
