Page 89 of The Monster I Loved
Who’d have thought that the same scowl that sent me into a spiral weeks ago was now one of my favorite sights? I kept a collection of his colorful expressions locked in my memory—the different angles of his smirks, the one time he did puppy dog eyes, and how his face would curl up when I added too much lemon to a dish.
His expressions had become precious gold to me.
Glancing at the time, I thought,So what if I’m a little late?Marni knew me by now. It had been over ten years, after all. Wow, for more than ten years I’d used these visits as a crutch. I wouldn’t have gotten through everything without her. Once I was finally there, I hurried from the car, greeted her secretary, and pushed the door open to find a surprise.
“Where’s my couch?” I gasped.
Marni stood from her desk and came to my side. “That old beat-up thing with the cracked leather? I got a new one.”
I stared at the new one, my mind spinning. “I guess it really is out with the old and in with the new,” I said, then slowly lowered myself onto it. It was stiff, definitely not as comfy as my old one.
“Summer, it’s okay if you don’t like the new couch.”
Good, because I hated it. “It’s just a couch. Eventually I’ll get used to it.”
Marni gave me a warm smile, but something else in her expression concerned me.
I sat up. “What is it?”
“Summer, I think you and I have come to the end of the road.”
What? She’s dumping me? Can a therapist do that?
“Summer . . .”
I blinked a few times and tried to steady my breath. “Yes?”
“You’ve come a long way, and I really think you can handle things from here.”
Who, me? My mouth fell open. “But . . .”
She tilted her head, and I knew she understood how huge this was for me. “I know change isn’t easy, and if anything new should come up, I’m still right here, but I honestly believe you’ve gotten all you can out of our sessions.”
Marni spent the next twenty minutes explaining why I didn’t need her anymore.
By the time she was done, I believed her.
“Will you at least come to the wedding?” I blurted out.
Marni’s smile faltered. “I can’t. Guidelines prohibit me from attending, strict two-year policy, but this is such a small town, I’ll definitely see you around pretty often.”
Phew. I didn’t want to never see her again.
Next, we moved to a more pleasant topic. “How’s Thaddeus?”
I couldn’t help the goofy grin that was spreading across my face. “He’s fine. We’re fine.”
Marni’s eyes filled with tears. “Good.”
“I’m determined to give forgiveness a chance and set an example for Thaddeus and our child,” I said, twirling the engagement ring on my finger.
Marni lowered her writing pad and pencil, then removed her glasses. “If anyone can do it, you can.”
I nodded. “I’m hopeful it will work. I love him. I never stopped, and it was harder fighting the feeling, so giving in should be easier.”
Marni stared at me like a proud mother whose toddler had just taken their first steps. She opened and closed her mouth like she was about to say something but thought better of it.
“What?” I asked.
