Page 32 of Boyfriend From Hell
I stood with him, following his movements mindlessly. He nodded to Cam and Mal who soundlessly began shifting back into shadows, along with the mirror. I didn’t care enough to question how that was possible, all I could feel was the sickening pain and betrayal. Nothing elseregistered. Not that, not Raios’ words. Nothing. This break up and birthday surely was one for thebooks.
Raios led me out of the dining hall and down yet another dingy, dark hallway to a slim stairwell that we climbed in silence. His soft grip never relented as we continued, even when we reached the door at the top. He glanced back at me; I didn’t need to see him to know his eyes still held the earth's weight in sadness. Why does he even care? Why would anyone like him care about someone like me? I was broken, beat down.
Each step felt like I was climbing a mountain. The last forty-eight hours––the last six months in general, had just utterly drained me. I wanted nothing more than for these feelings to disappear.
The door opened and revealed a low, warmly lit room. A giant four post bed with a black silk canopy sat in its center, surrounded by several fireplaces. A large, darkly themed painting of a broody pond with swans floating on the surface hung above each.
Déjà vu tickled me, but I shoved the feeling away. Who cared?
The room was beyond stuffy and hot, but that didn’t matter either. Maybe, if I was lucky enough, the heat would suck the remainder of my life from me. I’d die a heartbroken husk, like a shriveled up human raisin.
Raios quietly guided me through what I assumed to be his room, and sat me on the edge of the bed where he kneeled before me, running his fingers through his hair. I could tell my eyes were beyond swollen from my silent pity fest, the skin around them felt taught and dry.
“Deer, I can be the one for you,” he said, almost shyly as he rested his hands on my knees, running his thumbs along the fabric that hung loosely over them. “Iamthe one for you. If you allow me to be.”
“Yea, because of some twisted deal I didn’t know I was making,” I murmured, staring down at my feet.
My socks were so beat up and dirty, if I had a shred of dignity left, I’d probably feel self-conscious about them, but looking at them now felt fitting to what I felt like inside.
“No—well, yes, sort of. But no. I could have denied the deal, rejected your sorrowful calls to me. I didn’thaveto go to Portland; I could have chosen anywhere between the three worlds to vacation. But I chose you. Without fully knowing you, I chose you.”
I heard Raios’ words, his confessions, but the meaning didn’t really sink in. My mind was a chaotic nest of thoughts—Felix, Gracie, how could they?
“No,” Raios said firmly. “Enough of that now.”
I wanted to sigh—I knew he was reading my thoughts, sifting through each word that rolled through my head—but I didn’t have it in me. I just wanted to let the numbing pain consume me already.
“You mortals are so hardheaded. Stubborn. I can be your happiness, little love. Please allow meto be this for you. You deserve it, no matter what you’re feeling right now. You deserve to feel cherished,” he proclaimed.
I looked at him again, his eyes were as serious as his tone, and I shrugged.
“Let me be your heaven in these fiery pits, sweet one. Let me take your pain,” he coaxed.
The intensity of his gaze nearly stole my breath, for a moment I could feel a flicker of intense affection that didn’t seem to come from me, but from what he called our ‘bond’.
“Let me take your pain,” he offered again. “Give it all to me, let me hold its weight for you so you never have to bear the burden of heartache, or betrayal, ever again.”
Take my pain? At this point if he can make these feelings vanish, by all means take it away horn-boy!
He chuckled, clearly the veil of privacy was still thinner than air.
“Why,” I croaked, my voice so small and feeble.
There was a pause in his movements as he let out a slow breath.
“Because Deer, I may be a devil but Iamcapable of love,” he said carefully, and the word ‘love’ settled around me like a blanket, the bond between us seemed to vibrate in a way that was impossible for me to understand. “Forfeit your pain, little love. I can handle it. I’ll take your pain, and you stay here with me.”
I’d forfeit the entirety of my being, if it meant I didn’t have to feel this pain anymore.
“Careful with your thoughts right now, sweet one. We’re forging a deal that stakes not just your soul, but your entire life as you know it.”
Oh. So those weren’t just sweet words.
I couldn’t help but choke out a hoarse laugh at the seriousness in his tone. It was as if we wereactuallywagering my soul here. I mean, sure let me‘make a deal with the devil’. Scratch that, let me makeanotherdeal with the devil. Cue self-loathing eye roll.
“Whatever you want, I guess. What else do I have to lose? If you can take this feeling away, do it. Hell, if you’re that almighty or whatever, take away any trace of Gracie and Felix while you’re at it. I can’t believe—” he cut me off; his lips pressed softly to mine and my eyes nearly popped out of my head.
Warmth engulfed me, an overwhelming sense of admiration and strength surged through our invisible bond and flowed into me. The tension that had begun cramping my neck eased, and I leaned into the sensation, welcoming the reprieve.
