Page 102 of Dare You to See Me
My Sunny Girl:
I madeit to the pizza shop in forty-five minutes, but only because I stopped to get something for Dahlia. I didn’t want her feeling left out when I gave Soleil the gift I’ve had waiting for her. When I enter, I ask the hostess if she can sit me by the window so that I can see them when they come walking up. My eyes still long to watch her, drink in every step, every smile.
When I told Soleil about following her and doing things like checking to make sure her house was secure, I left out that I check for security from the inside of her house. Or that I spent many nights standing over her when she didn’t know I was there. Those are things I’ll take to my grave because even though I see them as ways I was looking after her, she’d see them as the actions of someone who is mentally unstable.
And maybe I am unstable. I’m a man who’s madly in love.
The sun sinks lower in the sky and orange hues dance across the it just as my girls come walking down the sidewalk. Their smiles make my heart soar, and I just want to live every minute wrapped in her warmth.
My Sunny Girl.
The bell over the door chimes and they step in just as I rise to my feet. She looks around and spots me, my hand held high like a kid aching to be noticed.Dahlia spots me too, and shoots off like a rocket straight for me.
Yes, I see her five days of the week, but it’s more contained. I can’t scoop her up and spin her around until she giggles. We can’t make horrible popcorn concoctions for the other and watch the faces we make as we try to stomach them (Sour gummy worms and chocolate syrup are by far the worst).
So when she sprints towards me, her pink dress floating and pigtails swinging, I squat down just in time to squeeze her tight.
“Hi sweetheart. You look so pretty.” She buries her head in my neck, snuggling into me like her favorite blanket.
“Are you and Mommy gonna be boyfriend and girlfriend again?” She whispers in my ear.
“I hope so.” I kiss her forehead and set her on her feet. “This is for you.”
She takes the pink polka dot gift bag from me and gasps, her mouth falling open, when she sees the Jellycat floppy bunny inside. I heard her talking about it one day in class and tracked down one store where they sold them. I called on my way over and gave them my credit card so they wouldn’t sell it.
“Thank you thank you, Malik. I love her so much.” She wraps around my legs quickly then turns to show Soleil. “Mommy! This is the bunny I was talking about.”
“Wow. That’s a really nice gift.” Soleil meets my eyes and I can see thatyou shouldn’t have done thatlook in her eyes, but it dies on her tongue knowing she won’t win this battle.
I pick Dahlia up and place her in the booth placing the bag next to her so that Soleil has no choice but to sit next to me.
“Hi doll face.” My fingers caress her face,reacquainting with her smooth skin.
“Hi.” I can see that she wants to do more –hug me, kiss me, shake my hand– but I don’t push her.
“Sit. Please.” She does just that, scooting her way to the end, and I slide in right beside her. “I have something for you, too.”
“Malik. You shouldn’t have.”
“Well I did, so…” I shrug then reach into my front pocket, producing a dark blue velvet box.
Her hands immediately shake and her face pales. It’s obvious what she thinks it is, and while I would love to give it to her, it’s too soon. I don’t even know if she’ll take me back.
“It’s not what you think,” I calm her. “Just open it.”
She plucks the box from my hand and cautiously opens the box, the lid creaking as it lifts. Her reaction to what she sees mirrors her daughter’s, but it’s definitely more inflated.
“I had it made after that night at T and D. I, uh, kind of carved it into the table. Danté may or may not be really pissed.”
She pulls out the necklace, the light catching all the angles, making it look like the rising sun.
“You drew this?” she asks, her eyes mesmerized by the gleam.
“Well, I did a literal drawing and the jeweler did a more abstract creation.”
From the silver chain hangs a halo of white diamonds that represent the crown, the jeweler explained. Floating in the center is a large, oval yellow diamond that is obviously the sun. My sun. Soleil.
“The yellow represents the sun, that’s you. And the halo symbolizes a crown, me. King. Without you at the center, I’m empty. You radiate light and warmth and I just want to surround you with love…if you’ll let me.”
