Page 106 of Without Bound
“Of course. Help yourself.”
I open the large door on the fridge and see rows of soda and tea and water. Gramma is always stocked with my favorites. I close the door and jump when I see Phoenix standing behind it.
“Jesus. What the hell, you creeper?” I place my hand on my heart and nearly drop the can in the other.
“I can’t take this anymore, kiddo. I miss you and I hate you being mad at me. Please Ana, forgive me. I overstepped and I’m sorry.” He touches my arm and I quickly pull away.
“Never. I will never forgive you for what you did. You hurt me thinking you could just ship me away and all would be forgiven and forgotten. But what hurt me most was seeing how Bishop has mourned the friendship he has lost. Friendshipsbecause everyone has forgotten about him.”
I feel the sting in my nose and the lump move up my throat as tears build.
“Can’t you see that I just want what’s best for you? You don’t see it now, but in time you’ll thank me.” I look at him in utter disbelief.
“Thank you?” I snort. “I hate you. I’m sickened by your behavior. The man you once said was the most genuine and caring soul is nowyour mortal enemy. You beat him, Phoenix. With my own eyes I saw how you wanted to not just hurt him but eliminate him. You broke him!” I scream and choke as the emotions finally win.
“Anais,” my mother calls.
“No, mom. I am done with all of this bullshit, half assed apologies. They mean nothing to me. You,” I shout, pointing at Vivian. “You should be ashamed of how you all have acted. Was it not Bishop who was ready to jump on a plane and fly halfway around the world to check on CeCe when she was in her accident? Did he not stand by your side through all of the crap with this asshole?” I hitch my thumb at Phoenix, as if she didn’t know who I was talking about.
“He held Cami’s hand when she grieved for the loss of her husband, and again when Vaughan’s life was hanging by a thread. You guys are the worst kind of hypocrites. Do you know,” I start pacing around the room. “When I told him I hated you and he should, too, he said he could never hate you. You’re his brother and always will be and that maybe one day you’d forgive him.Youforgivehim.For loving me! For taking care of me. For wanting nothing but the best for me. He is the one who pushed me to come here and told me to reconnect with you because our bond is too important to lose. All of this from a man you left bloodied and bruised, lying on the floor as I cried and held him.”
I stomp over to where I left my purse and rip my phone from it.
Me: I need to come home and I need to leave NOW!
I pocket my phone and angrily swipe the tears away from my face. I fling my purse over my shoulder and square my shoulders.
“I love you gramma and I’m sorry, but I cannot be in this house with those two. They make me sick,” I sneer. “There are gifts for you under mama’s tree. I love you so, so much, and hopefully you’ll come visit me this summer.”
I squeeze her to me and kiss both cheeks. My phone buzzes in my back pocket and I pull it out to see a text from Bishop.
??:I’ll book you a flight for this evening. I’m sorry, baby girl, but I’m glad you tried.
“Mom, I’ll get an Uber back to the house but I’m leaving.” I kiss her, fat tears falling, and guilt weighing on me because this is not her fault.
I hate pushing her away, but being in the same city, much less the same house, with that man is too much.
“Please don’t do this to your uncle, Ana,” Vivian calls out.
“Then you please quit hurting Bishop. Be the friend he thought you were and help him. He’s a broken man, Vivian, and it’s at your hands. Let that guilt sink in when you and your friends are all gathered around the table, talking and laughing. Look around and see that an important piece of your puzzle is missing. Without him, you will always be incomplete.”
I leave it at that and walk away.
My steps are brisk as I walk through the terminal. I move closer and closer to the main part of the airport and begin weaving in and out of people. I just want out of this place and into Bishop's arms. I feel like I can’t breathe, like I might choke to death, thinking of all that has happened over the last few months.
The high’s and low’s of it all really set in on the plane ride. I popped my earbuds in and closed my eyes, listening to the soundtrack that is Bishop and me. With every song that played, another memory of he and I and a reminder of what he’s lost because of me. What he gave up just to be with me.
I touched my necklace and let silent tears fall when I listened to our song.Butterflyplayed on repeat for about twenty minutes before I finally moved on.
I see the exit from the terminal into the baggage claim area and see a beast of a man, with a heart of gold, standing there with his hands in his pockets. My smile grows wider than I ever thought imaginable and I take off running, pushing through the mass exodus of IAH airport.
When I’m within a foot of him, I drop my bag and leap into his arms. My legs and arms engulf him like a constrictor, and I burst into tears.
“Hey. Don’t cry. It’s okay,” he soothes, stroking through my hair and kissing any part of me he can get to while I have him locked in my hold.
“I’m sorry, Bishop. For all the grief I’ve caused you, the problems that have followed from being with me, and I’m just sorry you lost so much. But I promise I will never leave you. I’ll always stand by your side even if it means it’s just you and I. I love you.”
I hear a gulp work its way down his throat. “I love you too, baby girl. And you haven’t caused me any grief. You’ve brought me a happiness I never thought possible. So instead of saying you’re sorry, say you’re welcome.” I nod into his shoulder and his giant arms practically crush me with how tight he holds on. “Can I put you down so I can get your luggage?”
