Page 109 of Without Bound
“And Phoenix? Do you forgive him? Do you think you’ll be able to get past this enough to go back to the way we used to be?” she hiccups, the remnants of her crying still hanging on.
I inhale and exhale a deep breath and close my eyes. What Nix did hurt me like I never thought he was capable of doing. I understand to a point. His best friend dating his much younger niece. I think I could feel a pretty deep sense of betrayal, but never enough to raise a hand to my friend the way he did.
“I do, Nix. I forgive you. But you gotta understand, nothing has hurt me more than the man I consider family thinking I would ever take advantage of anyone, much less his niece. Be angry. Yell at me. But fuck man…your fists hurt my heart just as much as they did my body.”
I watch his nostrils flare and his breathing turn faster but it isn’t in anger. It’s guilt and shame I see written all over his face.
“I understand. And as long as you can forgive Viv, then I can learn to accept that we just won’t ever be us again. I deserve it.” His jaw flexes and his throat moves, working to push his emotions away.
“I didn’t say we’d never go back to us,” I tell him. “I just said I need some time to get over it. The injuries have healed, but the pain still remains.”
“Okay,” he says, nodding his head. “I’m okay with that.”
We stare at one another for a moment longer when I finally break the stand off and step forward, giving him a hug. He claps my back with one hand while holding tightly with the other. He sniffs and I take a step back and he quickly wipes his eyes.
“So, uh,” he says, clearing his throat. “Peaches and I finally set a date for the wedding. I’d love it if you could be there. As more than a guest, but I know that’s something you need more time to think about. But it would be really great if you were there to protect me from what this one might say or do.”
Viv smacks his stomach and hisses. “You jerk. You better hope I show up at all. I have half a mind to make you wait another year.”
“Like hell, Vivian Rhona. You’re marrying me in March if I have to tie you up, dump your ass in a wheelbarrow and push you down the aisle.”
“Oh Romeo, oh Romeo, how you woo me with your sweet words.” She rolls her eyes and I smile because that’s the Viv I know and love.
“Of course I’ll be there. I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else than beside my best friends.”
We hear a sniff and turn to see Anais in tears. Without a second thought, I reach out and pull her to me, wrapping her up in my arms.
“What’s wrong, baby girl?” I kiss the top of her head and squeeze tighter when her arms loop around my waist.
She shakes her head and burrows deeper like she’s trying to crawl inside me.
“Peanut,” Nix calls out. “Can you look at me please?”
She wipes her now ruined makeup across my shirt and reluctantly turns her head to look at Nix.
“I’m sorry. A real and genuine sorry. Not an apology with exceptions or conditions. You own part of my heart, kiddo, and it doesn’t beat the same without you in my life. I hope one day you can find it in you to forgive this–what did you call me?”
Anais tries hard to muffle the laugh, but it comes out anyway.
“Uh, which time? What I said to your face or behind your back?” she teases.
“Ouch,” Nix stabs at his chest like he’s been wounded. “Fair enough.”
“I forgive you…a little. I just need more time.” She holds her index finger and thumb just millimeters apart, one eye closed.
“So, I’m guessing you two have plans for tonight?” Nix rocks back on his feet.
“Yeah. We’re headed to the ballet soon, and then we have dinner reservations.” Anais’ smile has returned and I feel lighter. Like the pile of bricks that sat there have been cleared away, one by one.
“The ballet?” Nix scrunches his face and earns yet another smack from Viv. “I mean, cool. The ballet.”
“Well, if you guys are free afterwards, maybe you can stop by Cami and Vaughan’s to countdown the new year? Like last year?”Viv shifts her weight from side to side, and I am still shocked by this side of her that I’ve never witnessed before.
I’m not sure if I like it. I’m used to the spitfire who speaks her mind and isn’t afraid of anything or anyone.
“We’ll try and stop by,” Anais answers for us.
Nix smiles and Vivian wears one to match.
