Page 59 of Without Bound
“We’ve avoided this long enough, little butterfly.” I pause and close my eyes with a deep breath, the words I need to say clogging my throat. “We need to talk to Nix about us. He’s not going to be happy, but I don’t want him finding out any other way.”
Anais jumps from where she lays nestled in my arms. “No. We can’t tell him.”
“Baby girl, we have to. It’s best to just get it over with and deal with the consequences. For you it will probably just be a lecture. I don’t want to think about what he’ll do to me.” Her head shakes rapidly, her hair flying around her, and her eyes are full of fear.
“We’ll tell him when the season is over. We don’t want to upset him going into the series. Just a few weeks. But not right now.Please?” Tears well in her big browns and her lip trembles with a sob that she holds back.
“Anais. Don’t cry, baby girl. It’ll be okay.” I take her face in my hands and kiss her forehead.
“Bishop,” she chokes out. “He’s going to be so mad.”
I nod and twist my mouth. “I know. He will, but we knew this. Now we just have to deal with it. If you want to wait until after the season is done, then we’ll wait.”
Her inhale and exhale of breath is shaky and inside, I’m feeling the same way. Nix is going to be pissed and who knows if our friendship will survive. It’s just one more thing to add to the list of‘this is a really bad idea’that has been piling up since I first saw Anais.
“We should be going soon. I don’t want you walking across campus so late, and I can’t very well pull right up to your front door.” My finger traces the outline of her brow and down one side of her face and up the other.
“Keyara already knows so it’s not like she’ll say anything.” Her admission has me sitting up and clutching at my chest.
“What do you mean Keyara already knows? Knows what?” My tone is harsh, though I don’t mean it to be, and it has her jumping.
Anais’ face turns ashen and a bit frightened as she moves away from me. “I texted her earlier. I didn’t want her to worry about where I was.”
“And what exactly did you tell her?” The tears that barely had time to dry reappear, completely eviscerating my heart. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I just…I need to know what you told her. I need to know what she may tell others because you’re a student and I’m staff and this isn’t really an ideal situation for either of us.”
Her fingers twist together and she begins to wiggle where she sits. “Um, I just told her that-that I was staying here and I’d see her later. That’s all.”
“She didn’t question why you were staying at my place? Without your uncle?” She shakes her head and I continue. “What’s the rest of the story, Anais?”
She falls silent and chews on her lip and I can see the cogs turning in her head.
“Please just tell me.”
Her chest rises with heavy breath and then she says, “She knows that I like you. I’ve told her all about you and my feelings for you, so I’m sure she put two and two together once I told her I was staying the night.”
I count to ten in my head to keep myself calm because I can already tell she’s on the verge of a full on sob fest, and if my next words are harsh they will for sure send her into one. I roll my thoughts over and also recall the policies of the university when it comes to staff-student relations.
“Okay. It’s okay. We’ll just…I’m going to speak with the AD about what and to whom I need to disclose this to. You’re not a graduate student, and I’m not a professor that has any direct or indirect effect on your grades, so I think we’ll be okay.” I talk out loud more for myself than for her.
I have to assure myself that neither one of us can be in jeopardy if I’m upfront about it. I wish the same could be said for Nix.
The tears that I thought could be avoided by choosing my words carefully come anyway and I find myself reaching out for her and pulling her into my lap.
“It’s okay my little butterfly. We’ll handle it one at a time. Together.” I kiss the top of her head and feel her nod.
She sniffs and asks, “Why do you call me butterfly?”
I smile and squeeze her tighter to me.
“Because you are a beautiful creature. People can’t help but stare at your wonder when you’re around. You’re unique and jaw-dropping and it’s impossible for anyone to take their eyes off of you.”
She snuggles deeper into my hold and begins kissing my chest.Mine, I think. My butterfly, and I’ll do whatever I need to keep her.
I walk out of the AD’s office, feeling better after informing him of my situation. Like I thought, because I’m not her professor or advisor or coach, and she’s not an athlete in any department, we are allowed to have a relationship so long as it has been disclosed and I don’t use my position to influence her grade or status.
I told him that would not be a problem because I am not in the business of putting my career at jeopardy nor Anais’ academic career.
I make my way into my office, ready to text Anais the news, but my phone rings before I can do so. Phoenix’s name flashes on the screen and my good mood immediately sours.
