Page 60 of Without Bound
I stare at it while it rings two more times, then decide to get this over with and answer it.
“Hey Nix. What’s up man?” My voice cracks and I clear it, trying to rid myself of the cyclone of nerves that is currently wracking my body.
“Not much. You snuck out early on Saturday and I haven’t talked to you since. Just thought I’d check in. Everything all right?”
I swallow and nod, even though he can’t see me. “Yeah. I’m good. I was so tired after a long week with the team so I thought I should get home and get some rest. I figured you and Viv would be celebrating late, and I didn’t want to bother you yesterday.”
“Well I won’t deny that fact. You know, Viv,” he says with a chuckle.
“No. Not like that and I am perfectly okay not knowing that about her. She’s like a sister and I think I’d have to murder you if I had to listen to what you do to her, brotha. Just being honest.” I plop down into my chair and lean back, putting my feet up on the desk.
“I hear that. It’s how I feel about Ana. In my mind she’s still a twelve year old little girl who thinks boys are stinky. I don’t know what the fuck I’ll do when she brings a guy home. Probably choke the fucker out.”
My heart drops to the pit of my stomach and I practically fall out of my chair when I lean all my weight back on it. All I can picture is Nix’s hand wrapped around my throat and the fury in his eyes as he squeezes the last breath out of me when he finds out about Anais and I.
“Speaking of Ana. I was wondering if you could stop by and check on her? I tried calling her yesterday and again today but she hasn’t answered me. I saw her talking to Cole the other night and then saw them leave. I don’t know if I really want to know where they went, but I’m just a little worried about her.”
“Yeah,” I choke out. “I’ll see if I can swing by her dorm to check on her. I’m sure she’s just busy with classes and being a college kid.”
Jesus Christ. She’s a kid. What the fuck am I doing?
“I kind of figured. I just get so worried that she’s going to fall into the arms of some punk and I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to her. I feel like she’s my own kid, sometimes, with her dad in and out of the picture. And I’m really fucking grateful for you. I appreciate you looking out for her. It just shows what an amazing friend you are.”
I throw my arm over my eyes to stop the sting behind them and hopefully smother the headache that hits me. If he only knew the truth he’d be singing a different tune for sure. The guilt sits like a mountain on my shoulders and I know I’m going to have to choose between my best friend and the one woman who very well might be my end game.
It’s not a fair fight and I don’t know if I’ll survive losing either one.
“Anything for you, Nix.”
“Thanks, brotha. Anyway, sorry to get all chick flick on you. I actually called to see if you wanted to come over this weekend? We’re going to have a pre-series celebration since I’ll be nose deep with practice and games next week.”
“Of course. You know I’ll be there. You don’t even have to ask.”
“I know, but I never want to assume. Plus, Viv said I needed to call you and tell you to pack a bag because y’all are having a sleepover.” I chuckle thinking about our little Red setting up the guest room for a slumber party.
It makes me think of all the times we’d all find ourselves home in Mag Creek for breaks during college, and the girls always insisted on having one sleepover with me because I was the honorary fifth “sister”. I would pretend to be bothered by the moniker but in actuality, I loved being brought into the girls’ circle. Honestly, I assumed that once Cami and Vaughan broke up, that would be the end of my friendship with them. But those girls refused to let me go.
They would spoil me with my favorite foods and movies and by the end of the night, all three of them –sometimes four if Cat was invited– would be piled up on or by me fast asleep and keeping me close like I was their security blanket. The way they took me in when they could have easily written me off is the reason why I’m so protective of them to this day.
Remembering the ways they confided in me and trusted my advice makes me think that it’s my turn to lean on them. I’m not quite sure if Viv would be a go-to for advice on how to handle my relationship with Anais, but Cami pretty much already knows and no doubt she and CeCe have spoken. Now is the time I need my “sisters” to help me out.
“Oh boy. That should be an interesting night,” I joke.
“I’m nervous to find out about these infamous sleepovers, but she assured me it was just a lot of gossiping and eating junk food. Hey, will you tell Ana if you see her today? I’m going to text her but just in case.”
“Sure. No problem.”
“Thanks a lot. I’ll call you in a few days.”
“See ya,” I tell him, and sit with the phone pressed to my ear, the wordsI slept with your niecerolling around in my head.
Thankfully he’s already hung up the phone and the words staytucked away. I begin to send Anais a text that reads“Call me. We need to talk”but figured that would have her jumping to the wrong conclusions. Instead, I sent her a text that would explain how I feel about her.
Me:
I hit send and pocket my phone and wait for her to respond.
I start scrolling through emails when I feel the phone buzz in my back pocket and when I remove it, the screen lights up with a text from my little butterfly.
