Page 19 of Big Pucking Deal
“What did you say?” He asks and I look at his fuming face.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes, pissed at myself for being so angry that I let it slip. “Okay. I need you to just listen and then–”
“Why did you call my sister your girl, Joaquín?” His teeth gnash and a red hue starts crawling up his neck to his face.
“I called her my girl because she is Jo. I tried to stay away from her. I went into that house the other night to stop Bram. And while I told youIwouldn’t do a thing, I had no intentions of living up to that promise.”
He advances towards me and I stumble backwards, still in my skates. “I’ve told you over and over again to stay away. You’re not good enough for her.”
“Why, Jo? Why am I not good enough for her? I’ve loved her since we were kids and nothing has changed.”
His fist balls around my jersey and he leans in so close I feel the spittle hit my face when he talks. “You hop from one girl to another. I refuse to let my sister be just another notch in your title belt.”
I slam my hands against his chest and push him off of me. “Fuck you Jordan. Did you ever stop to think that maybe the reason I am the way I am is because I’ve been searching for someone who can make me feel even an ounce of what Jolie makes me feel? You never even gave me a chance. I was a kid when you told me to stay away. Akid!” His chest heaves and his hands clench, his knuckles turning a bright shade of white. “Tell me why!”
“Because you’remybest friend! And if you run off with Jolie, where does that leave me?”
I watch the fight drain out of him as his hands turn slack and he drops his head between sagging shoulders.
“Dude. We’re the three J’s. Always have been and always will be. You have to admit that the time apart from Jolie just seemed off. It’s like a limb was missing and we only functioned at half capacity.”
He inhales and nods his head. “Yeah. It did feel weird not having her there.”
“And you think that I could just run off with Jo and we’d be okay without you? C’mon man. This is what has had you warning me off from her knowing how I have felt?”
He drops to the chair with his head hanging and looking utterly defeated. “I just…I don’t know Jo. I was stupid. All I could see was my best friend and my sister in their own worldand that world didn’t have room for me. You two are all I have. Without you, where does that leave me? Who am I without you two? As long as you never dated, I would never lose my sister or my best friend.”
I watch him in disbelief but also with a sense of relief, finally understanding why he’s been so staunch on keeping us apart all of these years. If only he had talked to me years ago, if only he had trusted in our friendship, who knows where we would all be right now.
“Did you ever stop to think how great it would have been if you didn’t hold your threat over my head? I only acted the way I did in response to your constant assurances that I could never be good enough for Jolie. I felt like I was living the life of the person you assumed I would be. Not who I was.”
Jordan lifts his head and turns his eyes to look up at me. They glisten with unshed tears and I can see how truly affected he was at the possibility that he’d be left behind.
“I’m sorry. I was so worried about what would happen to me that I never once thought about what that meant for you. And you’re right. I didn’t stop to consider what good could come from it. I’m ashamed of myself and all I can do is ask for your forgiveness.”
I pull a chair closer to him and sit down so that our knees bump against each other. I clap my hand on his shoulder and give it a squeeze of reassurance.
“Our friendship has weathered a lot. If we could make it through who the true winner of the year long game of tag was, we can survive this. You’re my best friend and I love you man. But I need you to trust me as much as I have always trusted you.”
His jaw clenches and works down a lump in his throat. “I know I can trust you . With all things. I’m just real sorry, Jo.”
He leans over and pulls me in for a hug and I give his back a solid pat.
“I think you owe that apology to Jolie.”
“Yeah. I know. I’ll be lucky if I walk away with my balls intact. She’s gonna be pissed.”
“I don’t envy you,” I chuckle and he nods his head. “Help me get these skates off so I can shower. After the game I’ll hold your hand and make sure Bunny doesn’t rip your heart out of your asshole and grind it in a blender, then feed it to you before she buries your body in a dark cave where no one will ever find you.”
“The description wasn’t needed, but thanks.”
"WILL YOUstop that?” I laugh while Joaquín swipes mashed potatoes on my neck and licks it off. “That is so gross. I’m getting all sticky.”
“But I’m hungry, Bunny. You already told me I couldn’t eat you, but you never said anything about eatingoffof you.” He plunges his fingers in the pot with the creamy potatoes and wipes from my earlobe to the hollow of my neck.
His warm tongue follows the path his fingers traveled, and he licks and sucks away every last remnant.
“I need to finish the gravy and Jordan is going to be home any minute. Now stop it.” I slap his hands away when he reaches for the pot again.
