Page 37 of Big Pucking Deal
“Hey Bean,” she purrs and throws her arms around me. “Sorry about the game. Want to talk about it?”
I shake my hand and rub my hand along her back. “Nah. I kind of want to go grab a few beers with the guys.”
“Oh,” she says, shocked that I want to deviate from our usual night after games. “Okay. I–I guess I’ll just go back to your place. Or I can come with you and just be there to drive you home. I don’t want you driving if you’re going to drink. I’ll get Brooke to come with me. We’ll just have to smuggle her in.”
“Sure, Bunny. Whatever you like.” I start walking towards the car and hear my name being shouted.
I don’t bother looking up because it’s a female voice and I can only imagine what they’ll say. Instead, I keep my head down as we exit the doors and Jolie hops behind me to keep up.
I feel rotten inside. Useless and rotten and not deserving of anything good. That includes Jo. The only thing I’m worthy of is pitiful sex with nameless faces.
I help Jolie into the passenger seat and she tells me that Brooke is going to Uber to the bar. She’ll walk in with us and the bouncers won’t even ask her for an ID. At least Jolie will have someone to be with her when this all goes to shit. If I play my part right, she’ll hate me by morning. Almost as much as I hate myself.
The woman who hangs on me looks like she is three sheets to the wind thanks to the alcohol. I don’t know how many beers I’ve had but it’s enough to help me forget some of the pain that lies in Jolie’s eyes.
Nails scrape through my hair, but they don’t bring me the same comfort like when my Bunny does it. She soothes my worries and eases any pain I may have. This has me on the verge of throwing up. But I hold it back because I know it’s what’s best.
“So are we getting out of here soon or what?” The woman asks.
I’m sure she said her name at some point but it doesn’t matter. Just like always, it doesn’t matter what their names are because I won’t remember them come morning.
“Yup. Your place. I can’t go to mine.” She smiles, bright pink lipstick smudged across her face, and I feel my beer start to come back up.
“Joaquín. Get the fuck up. Now.” I turn my head slowly, everything around me dragging in slow motion, and see a red faced Jordan with hands balled into fists and smoke billowing from his nose.
“Hey Jo. Whatchu doing here?”
“I’m here to drag your ass home and then beat the holy fuck out of you, you bastard.”
“Woah woah woah. Why so angry Bubba?” I say with a chuckle.
“Don’t call me that. That name is reserved for friends and you’re not a fucking friend of mine.” A small figure walks up beside him and all I see is a shock of copper hair.
“I think I’ll take Jolie to my dorm. There isn’t a ton of room there, but it’s better than back tohisplace.”
I blink a few times and direct my eyes to where Jolie sits, her eyes full of tears and her face solemn and broken.Fuck, I hate this. I know I’ll never have anyone like her in my life again, and I can kiss my friendship with Jordan goodbye.
She lifts her head and stares straight at me. Her bottom lip wobbles and I struggle not to just run to her and drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness.
I stand from my chair and stumble slightly, but the chick who is hanging onto me helps me steady myself. She hangs on my arm as I sway to where Jolie sits. She watches my every step and I can practically see her heartbeat speed up. I reach the table and feel someone on my heels but don’t bother to find out who it is.
“You can drive my car. Just leave the keys at my place,” I tell her.
“Why are you doing this?” She asks, her voice choked.
“Because you deserve better.”
She shakes her head slowly and swipes a lone tear that falls down her cheek. “I deserve you. We deserve each other. Don’t do this, Joaquín. You’re not that person.”
My chest cracks and I feel like I’m going to bleed out. Death will be easier than living through what I’m about to do.
“But I am. Jordan said so, and you’ve seen it with your own eyes. I can’t be what you need.”
Tears fall faster and harder and she hiccups, “Please. Please don’t.”
I hang my head and turn away from her. I can’t watch her cry. I’ll only end up breaking.
“You walk out of this bar with her and we won’t be there in the morning.” Jordan’s voice is threatening and I have no doubt he means what he says.
