Page 38 of Big Pucking Deal
“I know.” That’s all that needs to be said.
I reach into my pocket, pull out two hundred dollars, and drop it on the table before walking away. I don’t look back because Iwant to remember Jolie how she always is. Sunny and radiant and full of joy. Not battered and bruised and broken hearted.
We push out of the doors into the cold night and I say a final goodbye to what could have been such a beautiful life.
"JUST GOto bed, Jo. I don’t even know why you came here instead of going to Brooke’s.”
I sit in a chair facing the entryway, waiting for him to walk through the door.
“Because he’s coming home, Jordan, and I want to be here when he does,” I explain.
“Why? So you can kick his teeth out before you never see him again?”
I look over my shoulder and see him standing at the bottom of the stairs with Brooke standing silently behind him.
“No. I need to be here when he realizes what an idiot he’s been. I need to be here to remind him who he really is.”
His nostrils flare and he shakes his head. “Well I’m going to pack my shit and be out of here by tomorrow night. You should too, Bunny.”
I shake my head without a word, and turn back to watching the empty hallway. The clock on the wall is impossibly loud, but at least it drowns out the pathetic sound of my barely beating heart.
I thought I was going to die right there on the floor of that bar tonight when I watched Joaquín self-destruct. He was giving me the cold shoulder and I could just tell something was wrong. It took a few more beers to see that he was pushing me away theonly way he knew how. The only way he thought he could get me to leave.
It made my stomach churn when that woman strutted up to him and raked her fingers along his shoulder. I felt the pain of a knife piercing my heart when his arm came to wrap around her waist. The longer the two of them flirted, the angrier Brooke got. She went over to him a couple of times and threw some choice words out. She eventually called Jordan to come pick us up once he was done at the arena.
I told her this wasn’t him and that he was only trying to prove to me that he’s not worthy of love. But I knew better. I know Joaquín better than he knows himself, and I could tell that he wasn’t buying the act he was playing.
He confirmed my hunch when he told me I deserved better before he walked out of that bar with her. I don’t know what he’s doing with her or when he’ll be home, but I just know I need to be here when he finally realizes his error. Whether we make it through this or not, he needs to see that I didn’t abandon him like he expects me to.
I check the time on my phone and the digits flip to one twenty-three. It’s been just under an hour since we parted at the bar. I yawn and grab the blanket that hangs on the back of the chair and wrap it around me. My eyes grow heavy and I must doze off because the sound of the alarm beeping wakes me up.
I sit up in the chair and wait to see his face. My heart is in my throat and the next moments will either make us or break us.
His steps are soft and when he sees me, he jerks to a stop. Wide eyes stare back at me and I look for signs of guilt. I search his body for claw marks or hickeys, but I find none.
My breaths are shallow and it feels like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff. One small gust of wind will either send me back to where I belong, landing safely on steady ground, or blow me right over the edge into a dark and hollow unknown.
His hands curl into tight fists and his chest rises and falls in rapid succession. After the long moment of silence, he looks deep into my eyes and shakes his head. I breathe a sigh of relief and rush to him.
He falls to his knees before I can reach him, his hands cradling his head, and skid to a stop and wrap my body around him.
“I’m sorry Jo. I didn’t–I didn’t do anything with her. I couldn’t,” he sobs.
“I know you didn’t. I could feel it in my heart.” I kiss his head and his arms band around me and squeeze so tight that it’s difficult to suck in air.
“I thought you deserved more than me. I’m no good and you should be with the best. But when she tried to kiss me…Jo, I felt sick. I was disgusted with myself and couldn’t stand to have someone touch me that wasn’t you.”
His body shakes as he cries and I begin to do the same. In all the years we’ve known each other, I have never once seen Joaquín Santos cry. This is how I know him to be truly sorry. I trust him and maybe some people might say I’m naive, but I know him like the beat of my own heart.
“I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t do a thing. I got into that Uber and the second she moved in to kiss me, I pushed her away and jumped out of the car. I practically broke my damn leg, but that’s how fast I knew I had to get away.”
I comb my finger through his dark hair. “So what have you been doing all this time?”
He looks up at me and admits, “Walking home. Trying to figure out how long I’m going to sit on my knees, begging for forgiveness. And also preparing myself for the massive beating Jordan is going to rain down on me.”
“You don’t have to kneel and beg for my forgiveness. No sorry’s, remember. Promise me you’ll never let this happenagain and we’ll pretend like it never did.” I kiss his face, just now realizing how cold he is.
His cheeks are like frozen blocks of ice and I feel his cold body soaking up my heat. His body trembles and I rub my hands all over him.
