“Good evening. I’m Dr. Newman.” The woman walks in and we stand to greet her. “Are you the family of this young lady?”
“We are.” Camille reaches for Vaughan’s hand and I feel an instant emptiness.
“Is the baby okay?” I ask, not time for pleasantries.
“Are you the father?” The doctor asks and I nod my head.
“Those are her parents, so any information you have should be shared with all of us.”
She dips her chin and stands at the foot of Dagen’s bed. She opens a clipboard and reviews some papers
“I know you’ve been briefed on her condition, so I’ll talk to you about the baby. Dagen has suffered a placental abruption. That means that the placenta has separated from the uterine wall. When that occurs, it depletes the baby of oxygen and nutrients. It is something that is treatable in most cases.”
“What do you mean in most cases?” I ask her.
She breathes out and stones her face. “Because of the early stage of pregnancy she is in, the fetus was simply not strong enough to survive. I’m very sorry.”
Camille lets out a hard sob and Vaughan wraps her in his arms.
“Wait. Wait, just…are you saying that she–” The word gets clogged in my throat.
“Dagen has, unfortunately, suffered a miscarriage. She will be okay however, we will need to perform a D and C. Since she is still sedated, we will…”
The doctor's voice becomes muffled as the ringing in my head grows louder. I stare down at Dagen and think about how crushed her heart will be. This is all my fault. I’ve killed my baby and she’ll never forgive me.
I rise up from my chair and let my feet take me away. My name is called out but my body won’t let my mind take the wheel. Like a robot on autopilot, it moves without instruction.
I reach the lobby where Malik and Danté sit. They begin asking me what’s going on but like Camille and Vaughan, I can’t respond. Nothing stops me from running away from the pain.
I walk out of the hospital doors and let my feet take me away. My brothers chase after me but I hold up my hand, letting them know not to bother.
I continue down a sidewalk and reach for my phone in my back pocket, where I stuck it after Malik gave it back to me once the doctors kicked me to the waiting room.
Pulling up the Uber app I order a car, then sit on the sidewalk until it comes. When it drops me off at the hotel, I find my keys, jump into my car and just drive. Destination unknown. What is known is that I need to get as far away from the pain as possible.
FORTY-THREE
My eyes are swollenfrom crying for hours, and my heart is broken from the loss. Losing the baby, losing Hendrix, and losing my future.
No one has heard from Hendrix since he walked out of the hospital more than twenty-four hours ago. Mom said he just walked out and kept going. Malik and Danté said they tried to stop him also, but he didn’t even turn his head in their direction.
The drive home to my parent’s house was long and painful. Mom sat in the backseat and held me the entire time while I cried and played the words the doctors told me over and over.
“Ms. McCallan, can I speak to you?”Dr. Newman asked as she walked in my room.
I was already so confused because no one would tell me where Hendrix was and I just wanted to go home and find him.
“I am the on-call OB/GYN and I examined you when you came in. After performing the ultrasound, I was able to determine you suffered a placental abruption.”
“What is that? Will it hurt the baby?”I asked, already in tears.
My head was pounding from the fall and I had yet to see the bruising my parents told me about.
“When you fell, the placenta detached from your uterine wall. It doesn’t happen often from a fall like yours, so your doctor will want to follow up for additional testing. Just to make sure there aren't any conditions to be concerned or aware about.”
“Okay. So the baby? Do I just need to rest or..?”
With a deep breath she explained,“If treated promptly, an abruption can be managed. While you were brought in soon after your fall, I believe the early stage in your pregnancy was not on our side. I’m very sorry, Dagen, but the baby did not survive the abruption. We will need to perform a dilation and curettage to remove the remains.”