Page 4 of Dare You to Run
Mom continued on.“I know this is a moot point and I am not in any way placing any blame on you, but I wish you would’ve reported Steph. Even if it didn’t result in anything, at least what she did to you would be documented. That would give us some leverage against them.”
I grew more and more confused with every word that spilled from mom’s mouth and even more so when dad spoke.
“I know, Cam. I can’t tell you how many times I wished I could go back in time and stand up to Derek. I was so afraid that they’d take Day away from me that I couldn’t bring myself to tell the police what she did. Even if it did result in peoplenot believing me, at least I would’ve been free of Steph and her parents.”
Dad sat in a chair with mom in his lap, her fingers combing through his hair, trying to ease the tension on his face.“I hate that you’re stuck with them in yours and Dagen’s life. They’re horrible people. They are the parents of a rapist and complicit in her activities. They knew what she did, they protected her, and they sentenced you to a life of misery. I hate having to hold my tongue when they call. The only thing that I am grateful for is that our sweet girl doesn’t know any of this. I don’t want to shatter her memories of Steph, even if I do think that woman doesn’t deserve the amazing young lady she birthed.”
It was those final words from mom that had me pushing through their door.“What are you talking about?”I asked them.
They both scrambled to explain and ask what I had just heard.“Sweetheart. How long…how much of our conversation did you hear?”Mom asked me with pure panic in her voice.
“Enough to want to know why you’re calling Steph a rapist and claiming my grandparents are threatening you.”My words had mom practically passing out, but dad caught her before she could hit the ground.
They tried telling me I didn’t hear what I thought, but when I screeched, demanding they tell me the truth, the story they told me knocked the breath out of me.
“Day, I’m going to preface this by saying you are my greatest gift.Ourgift.”Dad approached me like I was a cornered animal.“I can’t imagine my life without you, so please remember that when you hear what I’m about to tell you. So, when I moved to Florida for school, Cam and I had been together for almost four years and we decided we would work through a long distance relationship. It was very difficult for me because while mom was here with Aunt Cat, Uncle Bish, Aunt CeCe and Aunt Viv, I was basically all alone. I befriendeda girl who I thought understood that I was committed to Cami. But I guess my words weren’t what she wanted to hear and one night…”
I grow sick thinking of my dad being drugged by a woman he thought was a friend, then essentially raped because she knew he would never leave Cami. Mom…my step-mom. What sent me over the edge was knowing that for eight years, dad lived with the woman who violated him and had me as a result. He was so afraid of losing me that he chose to tolerate a life of misery with her rather than live without me.
The perfect image of my mother I’ve held on to for thirteen years was shattered in a matter of minutes. The mother I sat next to, watching her take her last breath, was a lie. My memories of her were all tainted as was I.
I’m the product of an assault, and the evil that was Stephanie lives in me.
I grew dizzy and nauseous, and I just wanted it all to stop.“Stop. Please. Just…stop.”
Mom sat down next to me and took my hand in hers, squeezing it three times to let me know she was there.“Honey, we never wanted you to find out about this. Dad made a decision many years ago to be there for you, and together we decided that the manner in which you were created was not something we felt we needed to share with you. The fact that you are here with us is all that matters. We love you with all our hearts and I’m sure your mom did, too.”
How could she say that? Of course it mattered.
“Dad! She drugged you and took advantage of your unconscious state. If she was a man, she’d be behind bars. And you-you never reported her? Why? I don’t…”
My heart was pounding in my ears and I needed air. I could feel my lungs tightening, and then something even worse crossed my mind.
“Did you even want me, Dad? I mean…how could you?”
He looked at me with unshed tears and his voice shook when he said,“Dagen. Of course I did. I figured…I figured that mo-Cami and I would get back together and we would work to raise you as best we could with Steph. But things didn’t happen that way and there was no way that I could live without you. No way.”
Tears began rushing over my lids and I just wanted to scream.“You should’ve told me. I had the right to know! All these years you let me believe that Steph was a loving mother.”
“She was, Day. She loved you. Believe me. That is the one thing I know for sure.”How could he defend her? After everything she did to him, he still tried to convince me she loved me.
“No, people with a conscience and good heart don’t ra–don’t do that. She was sick. And now that sickness lives in me.”I finally reached my breaking point as I tugged at my hair. “I need to get outta here.”
I sprinted from their bedroom, my feet barely touching the steps as I ran down them, all while Mom and Dad shouted my name behind me. I ran into the garage and grabbed the first set of keys my hand touched and clicked the fob. The lights to Mom’s BMW flashed, and I jumped in without a second thought. The tires screeched as I slammed my foot on the gas in reverse, and it fishtailed over the gravel when I threw it into drive and sped off.
I looked in the rearview to see Dad running after me. But the faster I drove, the smaller he grew until he was out of sight completely. I had no idea where I was going, only that I had to get as far away as I could. If I could have jumped out of myself and left me behind, I would have run to the moon to escape.
Now it’s midday twenty-four hours later and I’m so close to the home of the people I once called grandparents. But theyare no grandparents of mine. In my eyes, they’re barely human. They’re monsters who bred an evil disease and I am an extension of that evil.
I let every call that came in go straight to my voicemail for the first two hours until it was full. Mom and Dad called more times than I could count. In between those calls, a barrage of texts from Mara, Sami, Jenelle and Lizzie had my phone pinging so much, I had to turn it on silent.
Yes, I left my friends without a word. One minute we’re enjoying a day at my parent’s house, and the next I’m driving off to somewhere unknown. But I couldn’t deal with them while I battled the thoughts in my head.
When they seemed to be failing at getting through to me, they called in reinforcements. First to call was Aunt Viv. I guess they thought that her fiery attitude and persistence would have me breaking. But when that didn’t happen, her call was followed by Uncle Nix. Nice try, but he was a softie and he’d probably ask if I needed any money or a plane to get me where I was going.
After that, it was like they just went down the list. Aunt Cat, Aunt CeCe, Gran and Pops, Zio Luca and Uncle Hayes. They even stooped so low as to have Abuelo Juan and Mamita Alma call me. What almost had me breaking was when Forrest and Emily’s name popped up on the screen. They weren’t related to me in any way but because they loved Cami so much, they became a fixture in my life, too.
Forrest and Emily are the parents of Mom’s first husband, Robbie, who died many years ago. It was his death that had Mom coming back home to her family and friends, and eventually me and dad. Mom told me that Robbie was Forrest and Emily’s only child and they felt like they were losing a daughter when they lost him. But here heart is so big that she could never shut them out as if they didn’t exist. Everyone welcomed them as part of the motley crew of a family that had only grown over the years.
