Page 4 of Hellfire & Bowties
“Yeah, guess not.” Oren sighed, then straightened. “I was born with a heart condition. Always knew I wouldn’t live very long.”
Luc exchanged another ‘what in the seven circles’ look with Zorun. The man had lived his life with a very short expiration date, done nothing wrong, and ended up in Hell. Something didn’t add up.
“Can you remember anything, anything at all, that might have gotten you here?” Luc asked.
Oren scrunched his eyebrows up, thinking hard. He was silent for a few very long moments before his eyes widened again and he stared at Luc.
“Oh no…” he said. “I took office supplies from work a few times. Like… pens and staplers and paperclips. And a glue stick. Maybe two.”
Luc stared at him.
“Three?” Oren added.
“Yeah, hon, we’re currently not tending to office supply hoarders, so I don’t think that’s it. Anything else?”
“Not really.” Oren squinted through his glasses. “Do you have, like… maybe a list of sins? An inventory? I could look at it and it might jog my memory?”
“If you have to think this hard, I doubt you did anything that would get you here,” Luc said with another sigh and thebeginnings of a headache building. “Okay, well, nothing else to do but call Upstairs and check with them.”
Luc tried digging his phone out from under a pile of stuff on his desk. It sent some of the items sliding, and Oren jumped to catch a little pen holder before it clattered to the ground.
“Pretty sure this place violates several safety codes,” he said under his breath, biting his lip as if he couldn’t stop himself from speaking. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Luc said, still amused by the mix of innocence and outright sass. “The Upstairs is spotless and follows safety codes perfectly. You’ll love it.”
“What is that?” Oren asked. “The Upstairs.”
“Heaven, hon.” Luc dialed their internal number. “Since you’re not on our list, you’re on theirs, and someone will be coming to pick you up soon.”
“Oh.”
Just then, the ringing stopped and Luc’s call was answered.
“Pete, my man, how are you?” Luc said.
Peter chuckled over the sound of the celestial chorus playing in the background. It never failed to give Luc a migraine. “Pretty good. You?”
Luc smiled. “I’m okay, but we have a bit of an issue here.”
“Oh?” There was a sound of rustling papers, and the live elevator music cut off instantly.
“We had a new group coming in today, and after sorting them all out, we have someone who doesn’t belong and isn’t on our list,” Luc said. “Figured he must be one of yours who got lost on the way.”
“First time for everything, I guess,” Peter said. “What’s his name?”
“Oren…” He looked at Oren to get a last name.
“Gallagher,” Oren said, and Luc repeated it into the phone.
“Hmm…” Luc heard the papers shuffling again and rolled his eyes at the thought of Peter and his perfectly organized lists. Ass. “Nope. We don’t have an Oren Gallagher either.”
“Great, then I’ll—” Luc started before the words really registered. “Wait… what?”
“He’s not one of ours,” Peter said.
“Not even on the waitlist?”
“Nope.”
