Page 9 of Hellfire & Tinsel
“He summoned me. I asked if there was anything he wanted me to do. I offered the usual summons requests. He said no. So he released me,” he said simply.
“My book doesn’t work like that,” Oren said, leaning against the wall of Kassel’s room stubbornly. “Only those who truly need a summoning can invoke you. And you can’t be released until you actually do what they need.”
Kassel narrowed all of his eyes at the mention of the book. “About that. The book…”
“What about it?” Oren asked. “We talked about the book in a meeting 237 years ago, at noon. Don’t you remember me asking for permission to include your personal details in it? You signed the release form! I can get you the meeting notes.”
Kassel admittedly did not look at every single thing Oren got them to sign on a daily basis. Signing in general was a strange and human concept Kassel didn’t understand. Where was the torture for eternity for breaking the binds of a contract? Where were the rules written in blood? Why was he being punished by filling in five thousand sheets of paper for the betterment of the ‘workplace’?
Kassel had also developed the unique ability to sleep with some of his eyes open.
So maybe he had missed something along the way.
“He didn’t really need a summons,” he said instead, sticking to the material point.
He got up and moved to escape his own room, hoping Oren would drop it. Maybe he could throw himself into the pit until Oren found something else to occupy him. That would be morepleasant than this. Or he could hide behind his drove of adoring fans. They had to be useful for something.
“And that is where you’re wrong, Kassel.” Oren followed close on his heels, yammering on. “Big G put a protective layer on that book. It can only be found and used by those who truly need it. It’s not a toy, or a revenge tool. It’s a resource for those like me.”
“Annoying?” Kassel asked without a lick of sarcasm, only genuine interest.
Oren stuck his tongue out at him. “Everyone in Hell thinks you’re the best demon ever. So handsome, Mr. Hell. So hardworking, Mr. Employee of the Month. But you’re just as big of a pain in the behind as everyone else!”
“You gave me employee of the month,” Kassel said, confused.
It had been a complete surprise to walk down the hallways on the way to the torture rooms and see his own eyes staring back at him from the middle of a crooked frame. An hour later it had been defaced with a twirling mustache and a big L on his forehead. The doubled snickering drifting down the hallways gave the culprits away immediately.
Oren waved his reasonings away like he was swatting flies. “Thepointis, the book was intended to help. I didn’t want any human to experience life like I did. If Beau found the book and managed to summon you with it, that means he needed you. So your summoning order stands.”
Kassel sighed and ran a hand over one of his dry horns. They really needed oiling, and Oren was going to chase him all over Hell until he gave in. He had this thing about being ‘fair’ and ‘nice,’ and the amount of pull he had not only with Luc, but with the Upstairs too was truly shocking to them all.
“Fine,” Kassel said eventually, pausing his escape and looking down at Oren’s triumphant face. He crossed his arms. “What do you want me to do?”
“You’ll go back, of course,” Oren chirruped, glasses bouncing on his nose. “We’ll find a really cute gift for Beau and you’ll bring it to him and try your best to figure out what it is about him that made finding the book possible.”
“You want me to go back…” Kassel repeated slowly.
“I don’t want you to do anything! You’re bound by the summoning.”
“You want me to take the human a gift though.”
“I’m sure we can find something around here that he’d like,” Oren said, not understanding his confusion and grabbing his arm to tug him along. “Did you manage to get any information about him from his home? What did it look like? What was he wearing? What was he doing?”
Kassel felt his head spin. He hadn’t thought he would have to pay attention to the human’s house. Or clothes. Or… anything else for that matter. He’d beensummoned, presumably, to do demon things and then go back to Hell. Demons, historically, weren’t in the habit of cataloging the clothing or home decor choices of their summoners.
“He had a lot of lights,” he said, trying to recall at least something. “A tree. With… things.”
“It’s the holiday season, Kassel! Every human who celebrates will have decorations.”
Why did he feel like he was being censured all of a sudden? “I just repeated what I saw.” Kassel’s tail swished behind him in agitation.
“Ugh, fine. His outfit then,” Oren said, leading them through a fiery archway and along a path of bones that crunched under Kassel’s feet.
“He was dressed… not like you.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?” Oren asked in exasperation. “Specifics are key here, Kassel. I know you like tospeak like you swallowed the Sahara Desert, but I need more enthusiasm. You can do it! I believe in you!”
“No colors,” he said, not adjusting his tone at all. “He wore mostly dark things. Except his socks. They were bright like the tree. He also had knitting things.”
