Page 2 of Hellfire & Tinsel
He let the curtains fall back over the window, obscuring him from view. As if he needed them to do that. He was invisible even in broad daylight in the middle of the street. Nobody ever took a moment to meet him, give him a chance.
Nobody ever cared.
He’d spend another Christmas alone. Surrounded by pretty lights and baubles now. Warm, with a roof over his head. But… alone.
He let himself slide down to the floor, right next to his tree and the potted plant he had decorated just to remember how far he’d come. He looked up at the shine of his tree, knowing it would be reflected in the watery blue of his eyes.
He was so tired.
Of trying. Of doing his best. Of giving the world chance, after chance, after chance to see him, only to never be seen.
He looked down at his lap, desperately trying to figure out what it was about him that made people so wary of him. What was so unlikeable about him that he’d never had a single friend? A family. What was it that made people take one look at him, through him, and decide he wasn’t worth a moment of their time?
He didn’t have an answer.
He tried to be nice to everyone. He did his best to be polite, smile at people, ask about their day. He held doors and picked up dropped items for them to make their lives a bit easier. He did everything he could think of, everything nobody had ever done for him, just to get a chance.
He was just so tired…
The lights on his tree changed settings, blinking and dancing around, reflecting off the surface of the silver wrapping paper he’d used to wrap himself a small gift.
He knew it would be the only one he got, so he’d made sure to grab a big bow and make it as pretty as he could. It was shiningunder his tree, and he reached for it, knowing it wasn’t the right time to open it yet but… what did it really matter anyway?
No one was here to scold him. Or even know when and what he did. It felt like defeat and rebellion all wrapped into one.
He opened the gift carefully, folding the silver paper to the side and placing the bow on top of it. He’d keep that. The first gift he’d received, under his very first tree, in his very first real home.
It felt like something to be preserved.
He turned his attention back to the gift. It was a book. He’d found it a few weeks ago in his favorite used bookstore, in the occult section.
Beau liked weird stuff. He liked myths and legends and magic and creatures and all sorts of things people usually scoffed at and dismissed. Even the things people turned their nose up in disgust at or shied away in horror, Beau did his best to take as they were. Beautiful and special in their own ways. He’d gathered a small collection over the years. So, when he’d seen a book on demons and the different realms of Hell they inhabited, he’d been immediately drawn to it. It was leather bound and heavy, decorated with gemstones and tied at the side with black satin ribbons. It looked mysterious and called out to Beau instantly.
It was also discounted because there was some damage to it and the owner of the store had said there were a few pages missing.
Beau didn’t really care.
He wanted it, and because of the imperfections, he could afford to buy it for himself. He was glad now, because he needed to take his mind off things and this felt like the perfect way.
He cracked the spine open, coughing at the strong scent coming off the yellowed pages. Dust and old age. Dried ink and humidity. And something almost… sulfuric? He wasn’t sure, but it wasn’t completely unpleasant.
He flipped through it, losing himself in the vivid descriptions and detailed illustrations. Hell looked… beautiful. He knew it was supposed to be scary, but there was something about the images of large, ornate gates, dark pits and long shadows that left Beau in awe.
Nobody was in Hell if they didn’t deserve it. The demons there weren’t vindictive, soulless creatures out for blood. They had a job to do and they were placed there for a reason. The ruler of Hell was just doing what a good boss was supposed to do—making sure everyone knew their place in an organization of that scale. He was also "devastatingly handsome and deserving of all the lustful looks he was getting," according to the book.
He peeked at the book’s face, trying to find the name of the author. He’d never really seen Hell described as a place of justice and fairness. He wanted to know whose worldview it was.
He found the author’s name at the bottom of the front cover.
Oren. No last name.
He made a note to himself to try and research more about Oren and see if he could find more of his work. For the time being, he just kept on reading, lost in the world he found so fascinating, but still hoped he’d never see in person.
After all, he did think of himself as a good person, despite how the rest of the world treated him. Underneath the echoes of their rejection, Beau still thought there was something good about him.
There had to be.
He flipped the page and found a passage about a demon named Tana. A tiny creature who had the ability to make everyone run for cover. He smiled at the vivid storytelling about one of her outbursts. The author really had a way with words. It felt so real.
