Page 56 of Hellfire & Tinsel
“I was working on this as an HR seminar at first, but ever since you got back I’ve tweaked it a little,” Oren said.
“What does this have to do with me?”
Oren stared at him.
“Well I wasn’t expecting you to get it on the first slide,” Oren mumbled, “but maybe this is going to be harder than I thought.”
He clicked to the next slide, which had the word love at the top and varying definitions explaining it below.
“For the purposes of expediting the process, we’ll be concentrating on the romantic connotation. I have some examples on the next page here.”
He clicked to the next slide and hit another button that made a little bubble pop up with the words ‘you try new things for them.’
“As far as I know you spent your time with Beau engaging in various new activities,” Oren said.
“It was a part of the summoning,” Kassel said. “Things he wanted to try but had nobody to do them with.”
“And you enjoyed yourself,” Oren said.
Kassel tilted his head and felt the corner of his mouth tick up the tiniest increment. “He is fun to be around.”
Oren squealed and beamed at him, clicking again to make another bubble appear.
‘You prioritize their happiness,’ it said.
“This?” Oren asked, expectation pouring from him as he silently asked Kassel to provide the answer.
But Kassel wasn’t sure what he wanted him to say. “It was the point of my summoning. You said I had to make him happy.”
“But you went above and beyond. It wasn’t because I said you had to. Youwantedhim happy.”
A shy little smile entered Kassel’s mind and wouldn’t leave. The pout that made him itch to do something. The bell-like laughter echoed in his ears.
“Which brings me to my next point.” Oren clicked.
‘Everything makes you think of them,’ the bubble read.
Kassel squirmed in his chair, feeling something building within him, a drum beating faster and urging it onward.
“We’re talking about him.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
Oren clicked again.
‘You daydream about a future together.’
Those words stung sharply, the serrated edges making sure to draw out the pain as memories assaulted him of Beau trying to come up with ways to get to Hell to be with him. Wondering if there was the smallest chance. Begging not to be forgotten.
The future Kassel planned didn’t have Beau in it because it couldn’t. It was impossible. But he still planned on spending the rest of his life remembering him. He could never forget his brightness. His goodness.
Oren clicked.
‘You feel physical symptoms.’
Kassel found his fingers were shaking. He was tired. Restless. Heavy. He no longer felt the same. Something within his being had moved, changed, morphed him into something dramatically different. It had unlocked emotion within him for the first time,and hefeltso much, all the time. It was maddening, impossible to repress, no longer possible to ignore.
“So the reason I can’t do anything…”
“Is because you’re heartsick,” Oren said sympathetically.
