Page 47 of Make Your Shot
The concept of anything casual is borderline foreign to me. I’ve never done casual with anyone before and I’m not so sure Caleb is the person I want to test it with.
He’s so hot and cold, it gives me whiplash. One minute he’s warm and kind and the next, he’s shutting down and blocking me out.
I’m not good at reading other people and I’ll bedamned if I’m the one who approaches him about this situation.
If he wants this to be anything else, he can be the one to come to me.
CHAPTER TWENTY
CALEB
“You all right, Ford?” Rowan asks as he slides into the seat beside me. “You’ve been extra quiet all night.”
I slowly turn my head to look at my brother’s best friend. I’m not extra close to any of the guys other than my brother, but if I had to pick a close second, it would be Rowan Taylor. I watch him as he lifts his water bottle, taking a sip of it before resting it against his thigh.
“I’m good,” I tell him, tipping my chin before looking back at the TV ahead of us. “I just have a lot on my mind right now.”
Like clock work, Carson comes strolling over, plopping onto the couch next to me. We all finished a morning practice session and were taking turns going over film with the coaching staff. I already sat down with them and went over mine, so I decided to watch the replay of last night’s game while I wait for the rest of the guys.
“Hey, Cale,” Carson says, knocking his knee against mine. “What did I miss?”
“Not much,” Rowan tells him with a shrug. “Just trying to figure out why your brother’s so quiet today.”
I can feel Carson’s gaze searing the side of my face and I resist the urge to dig my elbow into Rowan’s side. “It’s nothing.”
It’s not nothing, but it’s not something I particularly feel inclined to talk about. Motion over by the door catches my attention. It’s Coach Landry coming to grab another player. His eyes meet mine and something unreadable lingers in his gaze. They narrow just a fraction of an inch, assessing me like I caught him doing earlier when it was my turn to go over film.
I don’t know why the hell he keeps looking at me like that, almost like he knows I kissed his daughter three nights ago.
“Taylor.” Coach says Rowan’s name in a clipped voice as he waves him over. The couch shifts as Rowan gets up, heading in the direction of the door. Coach Landry glances at me once more, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows and turns away.
“Something going on between you and Coach?” Carson asks, his voice dipping low so only I can hear him.
“Nothing that I know of. He seemed fine when I talked to him." I run my hand through my hair, letting out a deep breath as I turn to look at my brother. I don’t know if Mia would have said anything to him. I don’t know if he noticed the kiss cam before my little temper tantrum on the ice. He hasn’t said a single thing to methat signals he’s mad or having an issue with me, but I’m not blind. I’ve seen the little looks he’s been giving me all morning. “I think I’m just being paranoid.”
Carson’s eyebrows draw closer together. “Paranoid about what?”
Shit. I didn’t realize I said that aloud. I know I can trust my brother, but saying the words out loud seems like a betrayal to Amelia. And what’s fucked up is, it’s not in the least bit.
I tried dating three separate times about two years ago. The three different women were nice and the dates were set up by some of the guys from the teams families. Even one of them was Gloria’s niece. I made a whole-hearted attempt to connect with someone else for the sake of everyone pressing for me to do it.
It’s like everyone else was afraid for me to be alone forever. Like they were afraid I’d never move on from losing Amelia. Part of me didn’t want to and a part of me didn’t think I ever would. I still don’t know if any part of me today thinks I ever will, but something has changed.
I’ve begun to feel the loneliness everyone was worried about. Human connection is a huge part of life and I didn’t realize it was something I was missing until Mia. Until she offered that sense of safety, of comfort, of connection.
And that’s what makes it feel like the biggest betrayal of all. None of the other women made me feel like it was something worth my time, worth investing in. I only kissed one of them and it left me feeling numb. The entire kiss just felt forced and not right.
Everything with Mia feels different. It makes my heart race and my stomach flutter. It makes me forget what I’ve been missing in life.
“A few nights ago, after the game, the one where I got into that fight…” I pause, sucking in a deep breath before letting out an exaggerated exhale. “I kissed Mia.”
Carson is silent, his eyes widening as I turn to look at him. “Wait...what?”
“Yeah.” I chew on the inside of my cheek. “That entire night was just a mental fuck for me and it just kind of happened after we got back to the house.”
Carson stares at me. “You kissed Coach’s daughter? Your nanny?”
I roll my lips between my teeth, biting down as I nod my head.
