Page 6 of Make Your Shot
Willow nods at me, giving me a thumbs up. “You know I like my men nerdy and not an athlete, but maybe I’ll make an exception. You’d better hurry, though. I’m leaving soon, remember?”
“Consider it my top priority.” I salute her back, spinning on my heel to head out of my room.
“Don’t forget to find someone for you too!” Willow calls out after me, her voice following me down the hall and as I make my way down the stairs.
As I slip my feet into my sneakers, I shake my head and blow out a breath. I’m not like Willow. I’ve never really been a no-strings kind of girl. I don’t know how to separate my emotions and not get attached. After having my heart broken by my long-term boyfriend in college, I’ve found it’s better if I don’t get involved with anyone.
No involvement means I won’t fall in love.
And if I don’t fall in love, I don’t get hurt.
CHAPTER THREE
CALEB
“Cale.”
I slowly lift my head, turning to the side to look at my brother Carson as he walks up beside me, a bouquet of pink roses clutched in his fist. His lips lift into a tender smile and he tips his chin.
“Where are Andi and Matteo?” I ask him, glancing around for any sign of his fiancée or their son. The sun shines brightly above, poking through the fluffy white clouds, its warmth seeping into the grass beneath our feet.
“I left them at home,” he says quietly, looking in the direction I’m facing. I follow his gaze. My daughter Estella is crouched in front of the gravestone, rambling away to the piece of marble as she twirls a flower stem between her fingertips.
Amelia Renee Ford
Loving mother and wife
Forever in our hearts, until we meet again
December 4th, 1995 - October 1st, 2020
It’s been five years since I lost my wife. Five short years that I’ve watched Tella grow without her mother. Five long years that I’ve been doing it all without her.
What a strange thing, how time can feel so short, yet so long at the same time.
“I can’t believe it’s been five years already,” Carson says softly, lifting his hand to adjust the sunglasses shielding his eyes. It’s an unusually warm day for the start of October. It’s almost as if summer is trying to poke through one last time before we shift into “flannel shirts and falling leaves” season.
“I know.” I’m silent for a moment, staring down at Tella as she talks to Amelia through the gravestone. Guilt engulfs me like tendrils wrapped around my chest, clenching tighter until I can’t breath and tears blur my vision. “When I close my eyes and think of her, it feels like the memories are fading away. The images of her aren’t as clear as they once were.”
Carson lets out a soft breath. “I think that’s normal,” he says gently.
I swallow roughly over the lump lodged inside my throat. “I know,” I say again. It’s completely normal, according to my therapist and the grief counselor I saw. It’s something they told me would happen, but every time I close my eyes and the images of her grow blurrier, it’s even more startling.
Carson steps toward Amelia’s grave, crouching down beside Tella. “Hey, T,” he greets her with a warm smile. “Can you find somewhere to put these?” he asks her as he hands her the bouquet.
“Yep!” Tella moves over to the headstone,rearranging two other vases to find the perfect spot for Carson’s.
Carson stands upright and takes a step back to me. “Have you been to see your therapist?”
“Yeah,” I tell him, nodding as I lift my hand to run it through my hair. After the first few years of going weekly, I cut back to once a month. Now it’s more on an “as needed” basis. The time around her birthday always hits me harder than the anniversary of her death. “I went and saw her yesterday morning.”
Carson’s throat bobs, his head moving up and down as he looks at the headstone. “She’d be really proud of you, you know.”
I blow a quick breath through my nostrils. “I don’t know about all that.”
The first few months after her death are not something I’ll ever be proud of. I lost myself for a little while after I lost her.
“Sure she would,” Carson argues, turning to look at me. “Look at the life you’ve given Tella. Look at how well you are doing.”
