Page 24 of I Knew He Was Trouble
There’s a chance I locked myself in the restroom, hoping they’ll forget I exist.
KELSEY
That’s where you went wrong, Frankenstein. You gave them free rein to talk about you while you were gone. Now, they all probably want to lock you down even more.
I groan and then slap my hand over my mouth. Hopefully, none of the ladies heard me and took it as an invitation to join me.
My phone vibrates in my hand, pulling my attention back to our text conversation.
KELSEY
You may as well send me your last words to pass along to your family.
RIP *headstone emoji*
ME
You might want to cancel your comedy tour.
KELSEY
Is this how you treat the person you want to save you?
I’m not usually one for begging, but I’m willing to do just about anything to avoid the pack of amorous moms out there.
ME
Oh Great Crazy Dog Mom, what do you suggest I do to escape their flirtatious clutches?
KELSEY
What’s in it for me?
I should’ve known she wouldn’t just help me out of the kindness of her heart. I can’t say I blame her, though. I’ll do just about anything to escape these women. At this point, I’d give Kelsey my left kidney. Okay, not really. But basically anything besides that.
ME
Whatever you want. Name it, and it’s yours.
KELSEY
Evie says you know a good sourdough pizza place.
ME
Correction: I know the BEST sourdough pizza joint.
KELSEY
Pizza delivery for me and my roommates tomorrow night could convince me to help you.
ME
I’ll even throw in their cinnamon roll pizza for dessert.
KELSEY
You have yourself a deal, Doctor Evil.
