Page 21 of Every Sunset
“I love you, honey. I’m so sorry you have to go through all of this.”
“I love you too mom. That’s why I need you to find a way to come through this, and you can’t do that alone.” With that he disappeared around the corner to his own room, closing the door quietly behind him.
As soon as I knew I was alone I jumped to my feet and started to pace back and forth, fighting the tears that wanted to come out. No more crying. No more weakness. I needed a plan because Max was right – I couldn’t go on the way I had been. I thought I was hiding everything from the world, but obviously I wasn’t.
I had to do better and if getting closer to Logan and Maddox would help Max to believe I was getting better, then I’d have to do that too. I could be friends with them, right? I didn’t have to drool over them every time I saw them. I could fight the spell they seemed to cast over me when they touched me or even just spoke to me, right? My real fear was that those two all-seeing guys would spend just moments with me and reveal every single secret I held, and then what would happen?
CHAPTER 9
ANNA
I leant back against my arms, my legs sprawled out in the sand beneath me. It was early, so there was still a slight breeze in the air, but the hot sun was starting to beat down already, all set for a scorching day. The trees behind me rustled with the leaves blowing in the wind, and I could hear some bird in the distance calling loudly. It was the lap of the water against the shore that soothed me most though. It was the most peaceful and beautiful place I had ever seen in my life and I had it all to myself.
Two days had passed since I woke from that nightmare and received a good talking to from my son, and I was trying hard to find myself amongst the wreckage in my head.
This little beach that Logan had told me about was definitely helping. I had attempted to find it the day before and been amazed when I walked through a rough running path in the woods and emerged from the trees to find that piece of heaven – a small sandy beach along the side of the water.
That morning I had set out in my yoga pants and a sports bra, determined to start my day with yoga as I used to before everything fell apart, and where better to do it than in that stunning location.
I had been filled with purpose when I rolled my mat out in the sand and sat on it to begin stretching, but every movement I knew like the back of my hand caused pain in my still healing body. The bright pink scar down my chest and abdomen pulled with every move. My ankle, which still caused me discomfort when I walked on it, couldn’t take my body weight when I moved position, and when I tumbled to the ground, my bruised ribs throbbed angrily, reminding me everything was not as it once was. I wasn’t whole and I probably never would be again.
So I’d abandoned the mat and the life I once had that I had been seeking with it, and just collapsed into the sand. I don’t know how long I had been sat there – a while – but I had no desire to leave.I had been able to calm my anger by watching the water lapping the shore, and focusing on the sounds of the nature around me. I had been able to convince myself that I had a new beginning now, and that I could find a way to move forward within it, but I feared that bubble of tranquility I had built would burst if I moved from that spot.
Instead I took a deep breath and threw my head up to the sky, closing my eyes against the bright sun. The heat of the sun’s rays felt like comfort on my chilled skin. Max would have already left for his job at the swimming pool on the bike he’d borrowed from Logan, and I didn’t have to start work at the hardware store until that afternoon, so I was free to just stay there and enjoy the tranquility.
I must have begun to doze slightly, because I didn’t hear anyone approach me, and I was awoken sharply by the feel of a hand on my shoulder. Instantly Callum’s face flashed before me and I screamed as I leapt to my feet in one move I didn’t even think myself capable of. I was already running when the deep voice found it’s way through my terror induced panic.
“Anna!” Logic seemed to find some foothold in my mind as I recognized the voice and I stopped, almost to the trees, and looked behind me. “It’s me!” Logan yelled, looking shocked and panicked in equal measure. “Just me. I…I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m so sorry,” he added a little more calmly once I had stopped.
“Fuck!” I gasped as I pressed a hand over my pounding heart and forced myself to take as deep a breath as I could.Way to hide your crazy, I told myself as I tried to calm the hell down and fast.
“Are you alright? I’m really sorry. I thought you heard me talking to you as I walked over,” Logan explained as he took a couple of wary steps closer to me.
“No…that was all me. Sorry. I think I must have been falling asleep. I didn’t hear you,” I tried to clarify, but I was gasping for breath like I’d run for miles, not a few damned steps. Maybe I needed to try running or some other cardio, I noted in my head.When did I get so unfit?
“You shouldn’t fall asleep out here alone. While the property is pretty safe, this area is open from the lake,” he warned me as his voice took on a seriousness I wasn’t sure I’d heard from him. I took in another deep breath and finally looked up at him fully for the first time.
I had assumed he was out there running. It was the only reason he’d be out there, but I was clearly wrong, since he was wearing hugging dark blue jeans and a black henley that did so much to accentuate the amazing body he had beneath it. Why did he have to be so perfect? How could I ever be just friends with a man who looked like him? Even if he wasn’t interested – which he never would be in a plain Jane like me – it wouldn’t stop me frommaking an idiot of myself every time he was close. It was like the sight of him turned me into a foolish kid with a crush.
“I can take care of myself,” I told him in response to his warning as I forced myself to stand tall and crossed my arms over my chest.Strong. I had to be strong, I reminded myself.
“You know how to defend yourself?” he asked, looking surprised.
“Well, no…” I admitted. “…but I do have a Taser and mace in my purse and a baseball bat in my bedroom.”
“Well, maybe bring your arsenal with you if you’re coming out here again,” he told me, and I didn’t miss the sparkle of laughter on his face.
“Laugh it up…” I snipped as I walked back to my spot and planted myself back down in the sand. I wasn’t allowing him to make me move with his bullshit warnings. Why would anyone be out on the lake looking to attack a random sunbather? “…but that small arsenal has kept me and my son safe for the last sixteen years.” Of course that wasn’t technically true, but he didn’t need to know that, and I really didn’t want to allow myself to think about it.
Logan sighed deeply and loudly as he walked over and dropped gracefully down beside me. He sat with his arms resting on his raised knees and looked out at the water.
“Do you always assume people are thinking the worst of you when they talk to you?” he asked after several moments of silence.
“I don’t assume anything. I was a sixteen year old single mom with barely a penny to my name. When people spoke to me, and still do, they’re usually judging me and finding me lacking.”
“Well, I’m not judging you, Anna, and I would never find you lacking. You’re strong, and I see how much you love and care for Max. You might have been a young mom, but you were obviously a damned good one to raise such a good, kind, smart kid,” he told me as he turned his head and locked his beautiful green eyes on mine. “And I do believe that you can take care of yourself. You obviously did an awesome job of looking after the both of you this far, but I also want you to know I’d like to help you do that now that you’re here. Didn’t we agree we could be friends?” he asked with a knowing look.
“We did,” I nodded. It was impossible not to give in to him with the patient, but intense way he watched me. I felt like he’d see the truth even if I didn’t come out with it. “But it’s not that simple,” I added tiredly. I’d barely slept the last two nights, afraid I’d slip into another nightmare and traumatize Max further. The fatigue was definitely taking it’s toll though.
