Page 29 of Every Sunset
“I’m falling asleep,” I uttered to him in warning. I didn’t know how long he had been holding me, but I was pretty sure his legs had to be going numb with my ass pressed against them.
“That’s okay. Sleep, sweetheart. You need to rest,” Logan told me gently.
“Max…”
“He’ll be fine. We’ve got him. We’ve got both of you. Stop worrying and just rest for me,” he cut in, quelling all of my arguments and lulling me to sleep with the peace he surrounded me with.
***
The second I opened my eyes the next time and saw that it was light enough in the room to suggest I’d slept right through the evening and night, I felt embarrassed. I remembered waking to Logan during the night, and I remembered what he’d said about me freaking out on them all and zoning out completely. How could I allow that to happen? Howdidit happen? Was the chaos so bad in my head that my brain just shut down on me? Is that what had happened? Whatever it was, it was embarrassing to know my son and two hot neighbors had been forced to care for me the entire time.
I lifted my head from under the blanket that now covered me and looked all around the room, which was cast in sunlight beaming in around the thick curtains. The space was still dim, but light enough to be sure Maddox and Logan weren’t in there with me, much to my relief. I wasn’t sure how I was going to face them again after this.
I sat up completely and pushed back the covers. Underneath I was dressed in the jean shorts and black t-shirt I had worn to work the day before. I was covered with a sheen of sweat, though I had no idea if that was from more nightmares that had haunted my sleep, or because I was just too hot. Either way, I was a hot mess. My hair was loose and hung wildly around my face, and as I lifted a hand to push it behind my ear, I saw how badly my hands still shook before me.
It made sense of course. I hadn’t eaten the day before, despite the lies I told Max, and I’d gone into some kind of mental break down just to end the whole charade. I wasn’t okay, and I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to pretend otherwise that day, at least not to anyone with eyes anyway.
I slipped from the bed and buried my feet in the thickest, softest carpet that I had ever walked on. The rest of the room around me screamed luxury too, even with it’s stark white walls. The solid wood furniture looked like antiques, the tall headboard of the bed I had just gotten out of, carved intricately with the most detailed and perfect flowers. Even the sheets, underneath where my hand still rested on them, were soft, almost like silk, but without the shininess. It all far exceeded anything I had ever experienced.
I was still leaning slightly on the bed, feeling a little unsteady on my feet when the door opened quietly. I froze, worried Maddox or Logan would walk in, but I breathed a sigh of relief when it was just Max.
“Mom, you’re up. How are you feeling?” he asked as he closed the bedroom door behind him then hurried over to me. I stepped back, settling myself on the edge of the bed, not wanting him to see how unsteady I felt when I stood, then opened my arms for him, desperate just to hold him.
“I’m okay now. I’m so sorry about yesterday…about the yelling and everything that happened after.”
“I was just worried about you. You don’t have to be sorry,” he told me as he leaned in and hugged me just as tight as I hugged him.
“I must have scared you though. I never should have allowed things to get to that point. You were right, Max. I have to do better at taking care of myself. I’ve just been such a mess since…well, you know.”
“Yeah,” he nodded as he pulled back and sat beside me instead. “I get that and you have every right to be kinda messed up afterwhat happened. I’m sorry I kept getting on at you about stuff. I just wanted you to be okay.”
“I am okay. You know me. I’ll get through this. I promise I’m not gonna let things get as bad as they were yesterday, okay?” I told him, hating to see how tired he looked. There were dark smudges under his eyes and he was too pale. That was on me.
“I know I’m just a kid to you, mom, but you can talk to me, you know? I’m old enough to be here for you when you need me, just the way you’ve always been there for me.”
“I know, honey. I should never have said what I said to you. You’re so much wiser and more mature than fifteen. We’ve been through a lot together, huh?” I sighed.
“Yep. We’re a team, right?” he asked, and I smiled for real this time as I pulled him into my side. Of course he was a head above me, so he had to duck down just to put his head on my shoulder and let me hold him the way I wanted to.
“Right, and we always will be. No matter how old you get, or how much of a giant you grow to be, I will always be here for you, Max, and I will never stop trying to protect you,” I pledged.
“I know,” he told me as he lifted his head and kissed my cheek. He smiled gently at me and once again I saw the man he was becoming overtaking the kid I knew so well. “Do you feel up to coming down for breakfast? Logan sent me to check on you and ask.”
“He cooked?” I asked with surprise.
“I think he and Maddox made every breakfast food known to man,” he laughed. “They’re worried about you too. They stayed with you all night in here.”
“You don’t have to try and talk them up to me anymore, son,” I laughed. “I’m gonna cut them a break and stop hiding from them. You’ve all got me convinced.”
“Well thank fuck for that!”
“Max! Language!” I snapped. Max just laughed as he got to his feet and faced me.
“I brought you some stuff from home so you can change. I think I got everything, but I can run back to the house if you need something else,” he explained as he nodded to a bag sitting in the corner of the room. “Your pills are all downstairs. Me and Maddox managed to bring you round enough to take the important ones last night, so you didn’t miss any.”
“Thank you,” I sighed as I realized what an idiot I was. I couldn’t afford to just check out of my life when that very life relied on me regularly taking medications. Just one missed immunosuppressant and my transplanted kidney could start to reject. The last thing I needed right then was to get sick again and face months, or even years of dialysis until another donor match came along, all because of my own selfish stupidity.
“Get cleaned up and changed. The guys said to use anything you need. We’ll be in the kitchen when you’re ready. You can call my cell if you need me.”
