Page 9 of Every Sunset
“What did you think?” I asked Max as we walked out of what would be his new high school in a few weeks when the summer vacation was over. I had walked in hoping to make an appointment to get Max all signed up, but the kind receptionist had gotten him enrolled right away without any trouble, then given us a quick tour of the place.
“It’s kinda small,” Max shrugged.
“Of course it is. Have you seen the size of this town?” I laughed as I looked up at what seemed to be the central Street than ran through the center of Grand Lake. Calling it a ‘town’ was a stretch judging on the few shops and eateries that stretched out along that street before me, and judging by how few houses I had seen around as we drove in a few days before. Still, it was quaint and welcoming. It was just a very stark difference to anything Max or I were used to, having come from the city.
“It’ll be fine,” Max told me as he seemed to give himself a shake and turned to me with what I knew was a hesitant smile. “They have the swim team and I can try to get on the football team. The science department seemed pretty good too, so that’s something.”
“You’re nervous?” I guessed.
“Who wouldn’t be? I’ve never switched schools before,” he shrugged. “But I’ll be good, mom. I’ll make it work. It’s my fault we’re here.”
“Hey!” I snapped as I paused and grabbed his arm to stop him too. “Do not ever say that again. What happened was not your fault. None of this is on you. You hear me, Max? I don’t want to hear you say that again and I sure as shit don’t want you believing it. Are you listening?” I demanded as I grabbed his other arm and gave him a shake until his eyes met mine. They were filled with uncertainty and confusion. He had been hiding it all so well from me before but I saw it now. I guessed the idea of us both finding our new ‘normal’ was bringing it all to the surface. “You saved me, okay?” I went on more calmly. “I wouldn’t be here right now without what you did. It was the right thing. You did the right thing.”
“I know,” he uttered with a nod as he moved his hand to rest over mine. “I just….it’ll take time, I guess, but I’d do it all over again if I had to, mom. I’d do anything to protect you.”
“Jesus, Max,” I sniffled as my eyes burned with tears. “You shouldn’t have to say that, honey. I should be protecting you.”
“We’re a team. We always have been,” Max told me as he squeezed my hand again.
“Yeah,” I agreed, because he was right. We had always been a team. That was the way I had parented him. It was all I had known when I found myself having to raise a child, while I was still a child myself. I made it the two of us against the world, but I had never meant for him to grow up believing he needed to protect me. I never wanted us to be in the situation we seemed to be in right then, where my son, at fifteen years old, seemed every part the parent too.
“Come on. I can see a diner and I’m starving!” Max groaned dramatically as he released his hold on me. I did the same and fell into step beside him.
“What a shock!” I laughed sarcastically. “You? Hungry? Never!”
I took in more of the small, old style town as we sat eating lunch. From the outside the diner looked like a retro style place, but inside it had obviously been remodeled recently, and it was bright, warm, and modern. Max had groaned as he bit into his cheeseburger, announcing it to be the best he’d ever eaten, and I had to admit, the club sandwich I nibbled on was good too.
Outside the window I could see a hardware store across the street, and beside it was a small grocery store, which looked like it had been there for years and was likely family run. On the other side was a small bookstore, and beside that a clothing boutique that had some stunning ladies clothes adorning the mannequins in the front window.
There seemed to be everything the citizens of the town could need, including a medical clinic that looked recently built and several café’s, restaurants, and the bar I knew belonged to Logan –Easton’s. All in all I knew Grand Lake was a place I could fall in love with. It was idyllic and I’d already imagined what it would look like in the holidays, the place no doubt dressed up to match the season by some community committee or something similar. It was a place I would never have been able to dream of living when I was a kid, and now I was there. We were there.Maybe this didn’t have to be all bad? Maybe this change could be good for Max and I?I pondered.
***
“I told you this was a bad idea. Give me the groceries, mom!” Max snapped, and I knew why he was annoyed with me. We’dbeen to the grocery store for supplies after lunch. My plan had been to get everything we needed for the next few days and call a cab to get back to the new house. It had been a good plan, until I called the number for the only local cab service I could find onGoogleand was told it would be a forty minute wait.
Max had wanted us to grab a coffee and just wait, worried about how far I had already walked that day. It had been quite the trek into the town from our place, and I knew I was tired, especially after how little I had been sleeping, but waiting forty minutes was ridiculous. We could be back at the house in that time. Or so I’d thought, anyway. So I’d stubbornly resolved to walk and now I was struggling. I wasn’t sure we were even halfway home yet either.
“I’m fine,” I told max with a wave of my hand. Except releasing my hand from the one bag of groceries -which Max had allowed me to carry, despite my protests, while he hauled the two heaviest - caused the bag to drop in my other arm, and when I jumped to grab it, I tripped for the third time in the last few minutes.
Everything seemed to go in slow motion as the groceries flew from my arms and gravity pulled me to the ground. I landed hard laid out on my front, the gravel at the side of the road scraping my hands as I tried hard to catch myself.
“Mom!” Max hurried over to me and lowered the groceries to the ground.
“Dammit!” I cried as I slammed my already throbbing hands down on the rough ground in anger. What the hell was wrong with me? This frail, clumsy, fear filled woman was not who I was!
“Mom? Are you okay?” Max asked as he knelt beside me and helped me as I pushed myself up to my knees and sat back on my heals. I pushed the wild strands of my hair, which had escaped from my ponytail, from my face, then realized my hands were bleeding and I’d likely just wiped it over my forehead too. “Mom?”
“I…I’m okay. I’m just tired and I tripped,” I tried to reassure him, but if his face was any indication, I wasn’t fooling him.
“You’re bleeding.” He grabbed my hands and pulled them between us so he could see my cut up palms.
“They’re just scraped up. I’m fine. We should gather up our shopping before the wildlife around here gets it,” I tried to joke as I looked to where our groceries were spread out before me, having fallen from the ripped bag.
“You can’t go on like this, mom. You have to take better care of yourself. I told you this was too far for you to walk today, and I know you’re barely sleeping. I hear you moving around the house at night,” he sighed.
“I didn’t realize I was keeping you awake too. I’m sorry son.”
“I don’t care about that!” he barked all of a sudden, startling me. “I’m so worried about you! Your transplant is new and the doctors all said you needed to take things easy at first. All of this…everything that happened! That’s not taking things easy! It’s not taking care of yourself! You don’t even have a doctor right now!” he cried and I realized in that moment exactly how worried he was. He was taking so much responsibility on his young shoulders and he shouldn’t have to!
