Page 86 of Everything After
“No, I asked her to wait.” Which was true, he had. But it wasn’t what he said, but how he’d snubbed me in front of everyone that had been my issue.
“You fell just short of outright dismissing her because you were pissed,” Rick muttered, scowling at his partner. “Now, I think we should take this somewhere quieter, unless Lily and Lennie want to do this on their own.”
“Quieter,” Alfie stated protectively, reluctant to let me deal with Lennie alone.
“On our own, and in private,” I countered.
Alfie flashed me a warning look that I took as he wanted to be there. And although I’d accepted that without my husband’s intervention, I might still have been out in the hallway, I knew I had to fight this battle alone.
Spinning on my heel, I headed down the hallway to the music room, knowing instinctively that Lennie would follow. Once in there, I pulled out a chair, sat down and took a few deep calming breaths.
“You waited three months to tell us,” Lennie blurted the moment he came into the music room, before he’d even closed the door behind him.
“Almost six weeks before I knew myself, so maybe six weeks,” I corrected, angry that he had adopted such a hostile tone with me.
“So, you’ve known you’re expecting for weeks and still kept your mouth shut while I made band plans?”
“You made plans?” I repeated, sounding indignant by his attack. “I’m glad someone did,” I countered. “For your information, Lennie, this is an accidental pregnancy.”
“But Alfie’s…”
“I know what you’re going to say, and yes, Alfie’s wanted kids for years,” I said, anticipating what I believed he might say next. “You must know by now how seriously I take my career. To be frank, I was as blindsided by this as you are, and as excited by the news as you appear to be. But here we are,” I reminded him as I held my hands out for him to look at me. “Although, you’re right, I’ve had some time to digest how this could be for Alfie and me now.”
“Which is?”
“I’m growing in confidence that I can be a mom and still have my career.”
“And what does Alfie have to say about that?”
“Are you asking me this because I’m a woman? If so, I never had you down as a misogynist, Lennie. Do you think I should be barefoot and pregnant, staying home, by the kitchen sink?” I fumed. “Do you think anyone will consider how a child will affect Alfie’s career?”
“That’s not what I meant. It’s just that we have a work-heavy schedule this year, and now you’re hitting me with a secret pregnancy.”
“Hitting you?” I scoffed. “Do you think I don’t know this? Like I said, this wasn’t planned, nor did I intend to keep this baby a secret. I was waiting until I was sure my pregnancy was on more of a sure footing.” I placed a protective hand over my still flat belly. “To be honest, of everyone, I’m most disappointed in your reaction. It’s gutted me because I thought you would be the one member of the band who would have rallied to support me.”
“I do support you,” he said quickly, placing a hand on my forearm.
“Is that so? Then why are we having a sidebar conversation when everyone else has been open in their excitement for us? Even now, I’m sensing a dozen questions buzzing around inside your head like, ‘How can you tour with a baby?’, ‘How many interruptions will there be while I tend to my child’, or ‘What happens if the kid gets sick and needs my attention?’ Not to mention ones around traveling, childcare and band bonding events on nights out. Am I right?”
He shrugged. “Well, I hadn’t gotten that far into my thought processes, but those are all valid concerns.”
“Then you needn’t worry because Alfie’s going to be the main caregiver… for the next couple of years at least, we think. Until then, I still have six months to figure shit out… oh and then I’ll be taking maternity leave.”
My heart pounded, part in temper and part with a sense of power that I’d stuck up for myself. Alfie was right when he stated I needed to start as I meant to go on. Having a baby was a natural event in most couples’ lives and Lennie and the rest of the band needed to accept that.
“Now, unless there’s anything else you’d like to discuss, I have guests to attend to,” I said to him, sounding unusually curt.
Lennie shook his head. “No… look, I’m sorry,” he started, but I held up my hand.
“Don’t… I don’t need an empty apology. However, you might try putting yourself in my situation. It’s something that I didn’t expect, something I can’t and now don’t want to change. So perhaps you could consider a little more what my situation means forme, and less about how it affectsyou,” I suggested as I stood, turned, stepped past him and opened the door. “I love you and the guys in the band, Lennie. But if the choice is betweenmy life with Alfie and this baby, or you and the band, I wouldn’t need to think very carefully.”
Without glancing back at him again, I strode out the door with my heart pounding and an ache in my chest, because I knew by making that statement, I was risking it all. However once said, a sense of relief washed over me because I realized, I didn’t care what the future held with the band as much as I cared about Alfie and our unborn baby.
CHAPTER 49
ALFIE
The strain I’d read in Lily’s expression had disappeared from her face as she walked back down the hallway after her conversation with Lennie. I held my arms open and she stepped into them once she’d reached me.
