CHAPTER 32
 
 LILY
 
 Landing in Heathrow in a gale-force wind was no joke, and because flights around us were having the same difficulty we circled over the coast several times, until our pilot had the all-clear to get us on the ground.
 
 Of course, I’d spewed rings around myself, the nausea heightened by the constantly tipping motion of the plane turning, my regular morning sickness and a general lack of sleep due to the flight and the time change.
 
 Fortunately, the private jet airspace wasn’t too bad and once I’d cleared customs, I’d scanned the helipad section for my dad. The moment I set eyes on him, mine blurred with tears, I was glad to be home on the one hand and devastated that I’d arrived on my own.
 
 “Hello, beautiful. How’s my girl doing?” my dad asked, rushing toward me, smiling with affection that had always made me feel special.
 
 “Okay,” I replied deadpan, not even beginning to pretend that I really was.
 
 “Wow, you look exhausted, sweetheart, let’s get you home.”
 
 As Dad flew toward the city, my last journey in a helicopter flitted through my mind, it was with Alfie, right before my privileged life had come crashing down around my ears.
 
 “Pity Alfie couldn’t make it,” Dad chirped, then he swung left as we neared the city. When I didn’t reply he looked over at me and frowned.
 
 “Everything alright?” he asked, his brow knitting closer in concern.
 
 “Tired, I was sick on the plane,” I offered.
 
 “Ah, then I won’t pump you for information, dear girl, let’s get you home and tucked up in bed for a while. After a nap you’ll feel right as rain, you’ll see,” he offered, staring ahead again as we drew closer to our destination.
 
 Dad had kept his permission to land around the city, and the helipad he used regularly was only a five-minute journey by car to their house. The moment I entered my childhood home my mum took one look at me and sensed something was wrong.
 
 “What’s happened to you?” she asked, grasping me by my upper arms. I must have looked unhappy for her to notice because she was usually this unflappable pediatric surgeon. Nothing much fazed her, but she was perceptive and emotional where my dad and I were concerned.
 
 “I was sick on the plane. I just need to sleep,” I muttered, hoping she’d believe me. My mum considered my excuse with pinched lips, then dropped her arms and gave me a pitying look. “I don’t think that’s all that’s going on, but I won’t press you until you’ve had a nap.” She turned on her heel without challenging me further and I followed her up to my bedroom.
 
 The second she opened the door, memories came flooding back of times when Alfie had been here with me, the most prominent of which was of lying there, in bed with Alfie, when heproposed. It was the most mundane of settings, but the happiest moment of my life, prior to our wedding day.
 
 My heart ached because that room was no longer the sanctuary from my teenage years because everywhere I looked, I saw Alfie. In my mind’s eye I saw him spooning with me in my bed, still felt the safe warmth of his arms around me, as well as visualized him sitting in my chair and standing by the window.
 
 “I won’t allow you to sleep all day,” Mum instructed, dragging me out from my reverie. “You won’t sleep tonight if I do.”
 
 “Thanks, Mum, I just need a few hours,” I murmured with a heavy heart, and rubbed my abdomen when I felt nauseated again.
 
 “Alright, I’ll leave you be. Shout if you need anything.”
 
 “I made you some scrambled eggs and toast. Get up, it’s almost 2:00 p.m.,” Mum ordered, rolling up the blackout blind to reveal the same gray sky I’d met when we came into land a few hours earlier. I’d lain there after she’d left the room and stared up at it for a few minutes until she called me from down in the hallway. “These eggs are getting cold, Lily.”
 
 The thought of eggs made my stomach roll, which forced me out of bed and into the bathroom. Fortunately, I only dry retched a couple of times. I stared at the drab face in the mirror and Alfie immediately sprung to mind. Ignoring the kettle bell weight in my chest, I splashed my face with cold water and headed out the door.
 
 My mum had just reached the top of the stairs. “Ah, I was coming to shake you again,” she mumbled, smiling. “You have a visitor in the sitting room.”
 
 I grinned excitedly and ran down the stairs, thinking it was Jack. “Did you tell him I was here?” I asked her over my shoulder.
 
 “No. Didn’t you?” she asked. I stopped and turned to see the puzzled look on her face.
 
 “How did Jack know I was here then?” I queried and wondered if Alfie had called to tell him I was on my way.
 
 “Jack?” she questioned. “It isn’t Jack, it’s Alfie,” she replied excitedly.
 
 My heart stopped beating for one maybe two beats then I exhaled in a rush. “Alfie’s here?” I asked in a whisper.
 
 Mum nodded. “Aww, you’re shocked, but it’s a lovely surprise. He told me he has time off as well. It’ll do you both good to finally spend it together.”