Page 60 of Murder on the SS Leviathan
And Cecile, who’d thought herself a pale echo, had been growing steadily stronger.
The time had come to tell Lance of Scogliera, and the mistake she’d almost made; to tell also of her part in the castle’s downfall. He sat quietly while she related all.
As she spoke of Serpico, he frowned, but continued to listen.
Pausing, Cecile blew her nose. ‘He wanted justice. Not for himself I think, but for the person who meant most to him: Lorenzo, his brother and master, who perished in the fire that must have disfigured Serpico himself.’
‘A strange sort of justice.’ A tick worked in Lance’s jaw.
‘I suppose he guessed what had happened. It wasn’t Lucrezia or I who set the castle ablaze, but we were instrumental. If we hadn’t unlocked Livia’s manacles…’
Lance’s face remained implacable. ’There’s no excuse for murder.’
‘You’re right, of course.’ Cecile plucked at the edge of the quilt. ‘But we can’t know others’ hearts, nor their pain.’
Cecile looked again into Lance’s eyes. ‘Lucrezia came to save me that night, on the roof of the castle. I stood on the precipice with Livia, above the flames’ heat, and she called me back from the edge. It was her hand that led me to safety through the burning tower. Last night, she did the same. She saved me, and—’ Cecile swallowed a rising sob. ‘Now I’m alone again…’
‘You aren’t alone.’ Lance’s reply was fervent.
‘Oh, I know I have my brother and Maud,’ Cecile sniffed, doing her best to smile. ‘But, they’re wrapped up in each other. They don’t need me.’
She’d learnt that as they’d crossed Europe; it had been evident from the moment of their marriage. Those promises had altered everything.
‘I reckon that’s the way it should be, between husband and wife.’ Lance looked thoughtful. ‘You become each other’s haven. There are always siblings and friends, and there’s duty and obligation to fulfil, but the marriage bond is something different altogether. No one else sees what’s inside.’
Cecile sniffed again and nodded.
‘But, I meant to say,’ Lance slipped his hand into hers and their fingers intertwined naturally, as if they’d done so always, ‘you aren’t alone, because I’ve found you. And, now I have, I can’t let you go. The only mistake would be to lie to myself—about what I truly want.’
He blew out his cheeks, looking suddenly sheepish. ‘I wish there was more time—for our courtship, and for you to know me better—so you’d have more time to decide. I’m afraid of rushing you and—‘
‘I don’t need more time.’ Cecile blurted out the words. A warm, wonderful feeling had overtaken her while Lance spoke.
It was always a leap, she supposed, believing in love, but she had such an urge to jump! The way Lance was looking at her, she could see how concerned he was, not just for her to say ‘yes’ to what he was proposing, but for her to make the right decision for herself, for her own happiness.
Lance had heard all her foolishness—of becoming enchanted by what the Conte di Cavour had seemed to offer—and he hadn’t criticized, or looked disapproving. Instead, he’d seen how desperately she’d wanted something of her own.
She’d been naive to think that marriage to the conte would bring her freedom; nothing could have been further from the truth.
But Lance cared for her in a way that was altogether different. He seemed to understand her without need for explanation. Perhaps because he’d been searching for the same sort of freedoms—to make his own way, somewhere altogether new, away from the safety of what was familiar.
And, he didn’t want to possess or smother her, or turn her into something she wasn’t. He just wanted her to walk alongside him, to share whatever lay ahead.
His hand was there, in hers.
‘Do you love me?’
‘You must know.’ He brought his lips to her forehead, kissing her lightly.
‘I wasn’t sure.’
There was his lopsided grin. ‘I wasn’t sure either, until you came bowling into my room that night, ready to chase off my attacker.’
‘Well, really. It wasn’t quite like that.’ Cecile looked at his lips, wondering if he might kiss her again.
‘All the same.’ He pushed another drying lock behind her ear. ‘I love you Cecile.’ He caught her face in his hands and showed her with the tender passion of his lips.
Only when her head was spinning did she draw back. She’d waited long enough for this part of her life to begin.
