Page 77 of Wicked Dove
TWENTY-FIVE
ELODIE
Kael saunters off with Professor Morton as if I don’t exist, like he wasn’t just all up in my space, stealing every ounce of air I have. Frustration brews in my chest, driving me insane. I don’t want to feel it. I don’t want to feel anything when it comes to him or his friends.
I just want to go home.
Hopelessness clings to me all the way back to Institute Thirteen, draping over me like it’s part of my uniform, and there’s no way of escaping it.
I hate that if Walker were here, he would know what to do. I hate that I know that, but more so, I hate that it’s opening my eyes to the fact that I’ve come to rely on him too much. Being here has been good for helping me see that. I need to be able to stand on my own two feet, but it’s getting to be too much now. I just need to leave, I need to be able to breathe so I can think clearly, and that’s never going to happen with Thorne, Rion, and Kael around.
I manage to not run into Rion or Thorne as I head inside Thirteen and rush up the stairs, letting the door slam shut behind me as I use it to prop myself up against. Ocean sits cross-legged on her bed, eyeing me with a glint of amusement amongst the curiosity as I peel the gloves from my hands.
I heave a sigh of relief once they’re off, tossing them toward my bed as I shake my fingers out.
“Are you making another run for it?” she asks, touching up her nail polish, and I realize she has a few beauty products scattered across the bed around her.
“Not today,” I breathe, silently berating myself for not making another escape attempt before coming back here. I think I was so caught up in Kael that I just beelined to safety. I could make a run for it now, but I just said I wasn’t, so I find myself compelled to stay, staying true to my word.
“What did the professor have to say?” she asks as I shove off the door and trudge toward my bed. I flop down on it dramatically, but I secretly love the way it bounces in response. My foldaway bed back home would never.
Maybe there are a few perks to being here.
Stopping my train of thought, I circle back to her question and sigh. “That I am a bad influence on Rion,” I state, and she scoffs.
“That’s bullshit,” she insists, and I hum.
“I know.”
“I’m surprised he isn’t attached to your hip,” she adds, and I clear my throat, looking up at the ceiling to avoid her gaze.
“I couldn’t find him,” I admit, her eyes raking over me immediately as she lets out a little gasp.
“You went looking?”
That’s the thing; I did. Instead of running away, I was too preoccupied trying to find the madman. A decision I’m trying to regret, but I can’t seem to bring myself to. “It felt like the right thing to do,” I breathe, wiping a hand down my face.
“And the others?” she pushes, and I shrug.
“The Sanctum summoned Kael, and I haven’t seen Thorne.”
That should be a good thing, but why doesn’t it feel like that?
Uh, I hate myself.
It’s as if I’m hellbent on causing myself more chaos and disaster every time I wake up each morning. That’s some toxic shit right there. Familiar song lyrics play in my mind, reminding me that I’m the problem. I’ve never related to anything more.
“That doesn’t mean he hasn’t seen you,” Ocean states, drawing my gaze to hers, and I frown, but she winks as I connect the dots together.
Rolling my eyes, I turn onto my side to face her, watching as she puts her nail polishes away, only to pull out an array of makeup products and a compact mirror.
“Are you going somewhere?” I ask, curiosity getting the better of me. It’s only then that I realize she’s not wearing her uniform. “Wait, what time is it?” I blurt, thinking out loud.
“A little after six.”
“How long was I gone for?”
She shrugs. “All day, I guess.”
