Page 28 of Fighting His Fate
She knew what he was reaching for, and she couldn’t bear to see the ring. She put her hand on his arm, stilling the movement. “Don’t.” Emotion threatened to overwhelm her, but she needed to get the words out, needed to right this wrong so they could both move on with their lives. Tears filled her eyes as self-loathing filled her soul. “I made a mistake.”
He cocked his head. “Did something happen between you two?”
“No, no.”
Not technically, anyway.
She would spare him the details, the fuzzy gray area between right and wrong where she’d been living these past few days. She hadn’t betrayed this man, not really. Her attraction to Brett had thrown her life into sharp relief, forcing her to recognize all the feelings she’d never had for John. The gentlest approach now was to focus on what was important in that equation—the fact that she didn’t love him and would never be his wife.
Her hand moved to the lapel of his jacket, and she ran her fingers down the crease. Her eyes burned with the threat of tears. How could she do this? Say the words that would break a good man’s heart, a man who didn’t deserve anything of the kind? “It’s not Brett. It’s me.” She took a trembling breath in and met his eyes. “I don’t want to marry you, John. I don’t love you the way you deserve to be loved by your wife.”
He took her by the arms. “You’re traumatized. The attack in the lounge. The children’s illness. You aren’t thinking clearly.”
“I’m thinking more clearly than I have in a long time.”
The silence stretched out between them. His arms dropped to his sides, releasing her. “You need time to sort this out.”
“It’s not going to change my mind.” He looked so dejected, and she hated herself thoroughly. “I’m so sorry.”
It was better this way, better than ruining his life by chaining him to a woman who didn’t love him, who wasn’t right for him and never would be.
His eyes were suspiciously glassy. “You’re serious.”
“She’s out there, you know. A woman who will love you more than you could know. More than me. More than anyone.”
He reached up and cupped her cheek. “I thought I’d already found her.”
She took his hand from her face, giving it a squeeze before letting it go. “No. I’m sorry, John.”
He nodded, putting his hands in his pockets and straightening to his full height. “I’m sorry, too.” He turned and walked out of the room, taking her guilt and her misgivings with him.
16
Grace rode shotgunwhile Brett drove Razorback’s SUV, the babies once again strapped into their car seats behind them. She and Brett hadn’t exchanged more than a few words since leaving the HERO Force offices, and she peeked at him out of the corner of her eye.
He wore sunglasses, the golden-brown skin of his forearm gleaming over his muscles as he drove. They’d made it out of the city and were headed to upstate New York in search of the twins’ grandmother.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” he asked.
She frowned. “Not much to say.”
“How did he find you?”
“I have an app on my phone that lets him see where I am. I had him install it so I would know where he was when he was late.”
He hissed. “That’s a little stalker-ish.”
“I know.” At the time, it had seemed like a good idea. John was forever getting called to the nursing home, hospital, or a parishioner’s house. She’d completely forgotten he would be able to track her movements, as well. She sighed. “It’s my fault for not calling him back. He was worried.”
“I’m sure all is well now that he knows you’re safe with me.”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course.” She knew he was kidding, just as she knew he wanted the details of her conversation, but she didn’t even know what she thought of it yet. She resisted the urge to squirm in her seat.
“He doesn’t seem like your type.”
“What do you know about my type? You barely know me at all.”
“I’m an excellent judge of character.”
