Page 7 of Shielding his Legacy
Ever so slowly, she turned to face him fully, already mourning the loss of that look, the change in their relationship that was about to jostle her world like a tiny city in a shaken snow globe.
He froze mid-step, and she stopped breathing as his stare scrutinized every inch of their daughter before rising back to Eva’s face, the question clearly written on his features.
Eva’s feet were rooted to the spot, her weight seeming to double. She took a trembling breath in and nodded before finding her voice. “Yes, Gavin. She’s yours.”
4
Gavin was right back there, standing on the side of the road on that sweltering summer day. Eva’s hands were on her hips, cut-off jeans slung low and her long red hair blowing on the dry breeze as she surveyed her flat tire. His reflexive helping of a stranger had so easily turned into something more, the chemistry between them off the charts and soaring higher.
He wasn't in Arizona to pick up chicks, but to bury a friend. Another of his SEAL brothers had given up the fight, making four men down out of eight from his last mission. The mission that had changed everything.
Four men down and counting.
He knew the horror they faced, the monster in the mirror, taunting them. Every day was a struggle. Every fucking one. Death held an appeal life no longer offered, and Gavin understood it all too well. If he was being honest, the temptation to be free of his burden was at times the most real thing in his world.
So, he told himself to keep his distance from thegorgeous young woman on the side of the road, to keep from staring into those interested eyes that could only lead to a bed with her in it, naked beneath him.
Yes, she was beautiful, but she was young—too young for him to feel such a pull. Clearly not yet twenty-five. He’d never been interested in women younger than him. Quite the opposite. But there was no denying his attraction was strong as they joked and chatted. He changed her tire and lowered the car with the jack, fully prepared to leave and never look back.
“Would you like to grab something to eat?” she asked, her head cocked to the side, looking even younger than she had as she grinned tentatively.
Don’t do it.
But he was already smiling back. “I sure would.”
Images of that weekend flashed in his head, sex so all-consuming he dreamed about it to this day. But another memory rushed to the surface from their last night together, him firmly in the grip of a nightmare’s shadow, his fingers spanning her neck and applying pressure as he sheathed himself inside her. Her head was thrown back and she cried out, “Yes…” his grip slowly tightening.
He wore no condom.
Fuck.
His fingers jerked apart as he came fully awake, the nightmare still half-holding him in its grip. He’d moved inside her in his sleep—dreaming of war, of death, of control—and it had crossed into reality.
But Eva was awake. Her hands were on his back, pulling him closer, her voice a soft, breathless moan against his ear. “Yes,” she’d whispered. “God, Gavin, yes…”
Relief and revulsion crashed over him. She was willing—eager even—but he hadn’t been. Not really. He hadn't chosen to make love to her that way, hadn’t meant to blur the line between nightmares and need.
His rhythm faltered, but he couldn’t stop. Not with her whispering his name like a lifeline. Not with his soul clawing its way out of the dark.
Their lovemaking that weekend had tethered him to sanity—but it had come too close to the edge of personal devastation. He’d been a hair’s breadth away from giving the dragon free reign, and nothing terrified him more than that.
He’d never forgiven himself, and he hadn’t touched another woman since. Because if he couldn’t trust himself with Eva—the one person who made him feel whole—he couldn’t trust himself at all.
But now she was back, standing before him as if a single moment hadn’t passed since she was in his bed. She turned her body to face him fully, a baby nestled in her arms.
A goddamn baby.
His feet stopped, refusing to move, the moment searing itself into the very fiber of his being. Not a newborn, but too small to crawl or walk. A couple of months old, then. His trip to Phoenix had been just after the new year. Now it was what, December? Wisps of red hair covered the baby’s head, just like Eva’s. Green eyes the same color as his own.
Eva nodded. “She’s yours.”
The earth seemed to open in a great chasm, swallowing him alive. His stare wouldn’t move from his daughter. Flesh and blood, the child he never thought he’d have and wasn’t good enough to care for.
She had my baby.
I got this sweet thing pregnant the night I nearly killed her.
Dizziness made his head swim.
