Page 35 of Pages of My Heart
Charlie frowns. “The Catholic boys’ school?” He places his fork back down on his plate.
“Yes. Teaching English and history.” Thomas is frowning now too, Charlie’s reaction confusing him. “I thought you’d be happy for me.”
“I am.” Charlie’s eyes dart around the diner before he reaches across the table and briefly squeezes Thomas’s hand. “It’s just that . . . I thought you wanted nothing more to do with the church. How can you be happy there?”
Thomas puts his own knife and fork down. “I understand why you’d worry, but I don’t need to stay there forever. If I work hard, I could get a better position at another school within a few years. Besides, I’ll be there to teach English and history, not recite the bible or lead morning prayer. And the salary is good, Charlie.Reallygood! And . . . well, I had an idea. You got a raise last month, right? And now I’ll be earning a good wage too. It got me thinking . . .” Thomas trails off, a little out of breath. He very much wants Charlie to be in favor of his plan, but he’s afraid Charlie will reject it without consideration. He knows this would be great for them, but he needs to sell it just right.
“Well? Ya just gonna stare at me, or ya going to tell me what you’re thinking in that big red head of yours?”
Thomas rolls his eyes. “Calm down. I don’t want you to hear what I have to say and then jump to conclusions without actually thinking about it, okay?”
Charlie pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. Normally, Thomas would find this endearing and laugh, but nottoday. Placing his elbows on the table, he leans forward. “With both our wages combined, I think we could afford to move into our own house.” Lowering his voice to a whisper, he continues, “We could stop sneaking around and just breathe for once.”
Charlie’s body stills and his eyes widen. Thomas watches as something that looks a lot like hope—excitement, even—flits across Charlie’s face before his expression quickly circles back to fear. “Tommy,” he whispers, already shaking his head in resignation, “how are we gonna explain two men living together who ain’t blood related?”
But Thomas has already pondered this a great deal. “A bachelor pad! We rent a two-bedroom place and furnish both rooms—one with your things, one with mine. When our families visit it’ll just look like two roommates sharing a house to save money. Charlie,”—he desperately wants to reach for his hand, but he restrains himself—“we have to stop thinking everyone knows. Theydon’t. It’s been almost three years. We can get away with it, I know we can.” Thomas leans back in the booth, feeling confident. “We’ll just need to go on more dates, maybe.”
“And if we get caught?” Charlie asks, clearly still not sold on the idea.
“And if we don’t?” Thomas counters.
“Tommy, I’m serious.” Charlie leans further forward, his voice barely audible. “They’ll throw us in fuckin’ prison. You know what happens to men like us in the big house?”
“I’m willing to risk it. I’d risk anything for you, Charlie Miller. I thought you understood that by now.”
Charlie’s expression softens, his blue eyes like sunlight sparkling on a lake in summer. “I do. And that’s what scares me.”
“What are you saying? Are you getting cold feet after three years? Because I’m telling you right now, I’d rather die young than live a lifetime without you.”
Charlie chuckles, finally relaxing back in his seat. “You’re an incurable romantic, Red, ya know that? You read too much of that fancy boy poetry.”
Thomas smirks. “Are you saying youwouldn’tdie for me?” he teases.
“You know I would.” Charlie holds his gaze, steady and sure, and yes, Thomas does know. Charlie smiles, soft and sweet, then says, “All right.”
“All right what?”
“All right, let’s see if we can get our own place.”
Thomas wants to throw himself across the table and kiss Charlie until he’s gasping for air. Instead, he settles for brushing his foot against Charlie’s calf and mouthing, “I love you.” Just the thought of sharing a home with Charlie makes him vibrate with excitement and something he hasn’t felt in a while.
Hope.
Charlie
It takes only a few weeks to find the perfect house. Charlie wants to be close to his mother, and, fortunately, Thomas doesn’t mind settling on the less affluent side of the city. The street is quiet and the rent manageable, and while the two-bedroom house is small, it’s well maintained. Their families barely question their motives. Only Bridget seems perplexed as to whyThomas wants to move out of the O’Reilly house and waste his money on rent rather than save his wages. Thomas angrily tells his sister he wants to learn how to be independent so he can be a good husband and father one day. Charlie has to hand it to him—Thomas is one clever son of a bitch.
Moving in takes all weekend, even with Michael, Eddie, and Donnie helping. They find some cheap secondhand items, including a dining setting and two armchairs for the sitting room. Thomas brings his bed from his family home, and Charlie uses most of his savings to buy a double bed for his room—which will betheirroom, unbeknownst to their families.
On top of that, Loretta and Bridget each assemble some items for the kitchen—plates, bowls, knives and forks, glasses and mugs, and some cookware—and Eddie surprises Thomas with a radio as a housewarming gift. Thomas’s face lights up like a damn Christmas tree when he sees it, and Charlie smiles fondly, knowing Thomas is thinking about evenings spent slow dancing. Alone. They’ll still need many more items to fill the house, but they have enough to start. And Charlie is good with finances and already has a savings plan that will get them all the things they need over the next few months.
Just before seven o’clock on Sunday night, after the last person finally leaves, Charlie locks the door and then walks through the house, closing all the curtains. Satisfied, he returns to the kitchen where Thomas is warming up the meal Charlie’s mother left for them.
“Tommy,” he says, leaning against the door frame.
Thomas hums in answer but continues plating their food.
Charlie tries again—“Sweetheart,” he says—and this time Thomas turns, their eyes connecting. “We did it. We’re alone. And we’re safe.”
