Page 38 of Pages of My Heart
Charlie stops, swiping at the tears that trail down his cheeks. Thomas blinks away his own tears, trying to stay strong so Charlie can say what he needs to.
“Sweetheart, I vow to you, from this day forward, to love and to cherish you for all of our days. I will always protect you and look after you. Thomas, I take you as my husband, my family. The symbol of my commitment is inked into my flesh.” He mimics Thomas, lifting his right hand and pressing it over his heart. “You’re under my skin and part of my very soul.”
Thomas cannot wait a second longer. He kisses Charlie passionately, sliding the jacket from his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. He struggles to remove his own jacket but finally manages and gets his hands back on Charlie, frantically unbuttoning Charlie’s shirt to reveal his tattoo. Stepping back, he takes it in, eyes darting between Charlie’s flushed face and his inked chest. He’s unbearably overwhelmed, his heart thundering and his skin electrified, like he’s been hit by a bolt of lightning.
Charlie then moves with deliberate purpose, unbuttoning Thomas’s shirt and sliding it down over his shoulders, unhurried and calm. He doesn’t say anything, but Thomas sees the emotion clear across his face and hears it in the deep, shuttering breath he draws in.
With both their chests now bared and the permanence of ink upon their skin, Thomas feels something shift between them.
“Charlie, you’re mine now. Forever and always.”
“Sweetheart, I was always yours.”
They each trace the letters of the other’s tattoo, then lay the gentlest of kisses over them. Clothes are shed and further promises and declarations are murmured against feverish skin. Then they sink to the hardwood, and Thomas takes Charlie right there on their sitting room floor.
Chapter 22
March 17th, 1944
To my dearest Red,
I got your Christmas letter today and it brought me to tears. I look forward to opening my gift when I get home, but to read your words and know that you’re well gave me such relief—that’s the greatest gift of all. And do you have any idea how it thrilled me to realize we were both reminiscing—perhaps even at the same time—about making love in front of the fire on Christmas Eve? Yes, let’s make it a tradition.
I’m glad to hear you’re spending time with baby Jonathan and enjoying it. You can tell me all about it when I return—your memories can become mine. It saddens me that he won’t know his Uncle Charlie and will probably shy away from me. But I’m glad he has you to smile at him. I miss your smile so much, sweetheart. You light up brighter than the sun when you smile.
Did your idiot brother enlist, or did you convince him otherwise?
Being a corporal is about as shit as I expected it to be, though I guess it ain’t all bad. Mostly I fear I’ll make a wrong decision andit’ll cost somebody their life. That weighs heavily on my shoulders. But so far, so good. I find myself praying, if you can believe it. No doubt God has already forsaken me, but I try anyway. Even if I can’t be saved, I beg that you will be.
We’ve been at a base camp for four days now. We needed it. We couldn’t have gone on another week the way things were. There’s illness here, both physical and in the mind. We all got blisters and cuts and bruises and infections, but mostly our bodies are just thin and weak. We run on fumes. But we move forward for the ones we love.
When we first arrived here, I slept fitfully for two days. The boys tell me I had a terrible fever, and when I woke, they asked me who Tommy was. They told me I was calling out for him. A brother who died in childhood, I said. I told them I don’t normally speak of him, and they seemed satisfied with that. But to hear that name spoken out loud after so long—it almost undid me, Red.
My commanding officer is calling for me, so I’ve got to finish this letter here. We’re due to move out in 24 hours and there’s always so much planning to do. Please remember how much I love you. Don’t forget my face, or my touch.
Eternally yours,
Charlie x
Chapter 23
May 1941
Thomas
With Evie strolling by his side, Thomas leads them into Sherman Park on a perfect spring day. Since Robert’s passing, he’s grown even closer to Evie. He generally prefers the company of women, and their friendship is something he nurtures and protects. Perhaps some of that is due to Evie being Charlie’s sister, but mostly it’s because he feels so himself around her. Relaxed. Less serious, a little softer even.
Of course, there is that one part of himself that he must keep hidden, but that distance exists with every person in his life save for Charlie.
Occasionally, he and Charlie will still go to the club where they first met and enjoy the thrill and freedom of kissing and dancing in front of others like them, but mostly they don’t bother anymore. It doesn’t feel worth the risk of a police raid or someone recognizing them now that they can spend evenings together at home, safe behind a locked door. Maybe he and Charlie should cultivate more friendships with other homosexuals, but for now, this friendship with Evie holds a special place in his heart.
“What about here?” Evie says, motioning to a lush section of grass under the shade of a large oak tree.
“Perfect. Would you like to eat first, or shall we read a little?”
Evie spreads the picnic blanket out while Thomas sets the basket down.
“Let’s read a little first.”
