Page 52 of Pages of My Heart
“Charlie, I need you closer.” His voice forsakes him, the pain undeniable.
Thomas pulls Charlie up onto his knees, wrapping one arm around Charlie’s chest to support him and hold him tight against his own. Charlie leans his head back on his shoulder, and they kiss passionately. His hand wraps possessively around Charlie’s throat and he increases the speed of his hips, aware he cannot continue much longer. Charlie’s breath suddenlyshudders and then his body stiffens, signaling Thomas can let go, too. They climax together, desperate cries emptied into each other’s mouths. It’s almost too much, knowing they won’t have this anymore. That they won’t have each other.
Releasing inside Charlie is always pleasurable, but tonight it is tainted with the deep sorrow of impending loss.
A few hours later, after soft words and gentle hugs, they come together again. It’s slow and sweet this time, with Charlie under him, held protectively in his arms. They can only gaze upon each other for so long before it becomes overwhelming, so they tuck their faces into the warmth of each other’s necks and try to gather the strength to continue.
“Tommy?” Charlie strokes a hand through his hair.
He kisses Charlie, then pulls back to find tearful blue eyes. “Yes, darling?”
“I love you. Please . . . please don’t forget me when I’m gone.”
Thomas loses his resolve and begins to cry. “Never. You’re a part of me, Charlie. I could never forget you. I love you so much . . . so much it hurts.”
Charlie’s tears roll down the sides of his face until they’re staining the pillow. “Me too . . . I’ll miss you every fuckin’ second.”
“I’ll miss you too, my love. Don’t cry.” Thomas takes his weight onto one elbow and brushes away Charlie’s tears before resuming the gentle roll of his hips. “No more sad words. Let it go and enjoy the time we have.” Thomas isn’t sure if his words are for Charlie or himself.
Charlie nods and pulls Thomas down into a kiss that is filled with promises that feel too tenuous to speak aloud. Their climaxes seem to stretch time itself, leaving them boneless andneeding sleep, but they have made a pact to stay awake as long as possible.
Thomas lays down on his side and pulls Charlie into his arms, their faces almost touching. “Tell me again. What made you pick me at the club that night?”
Charlie huffs out a chuckle. “How many times can I tell you this story?”
“At least once more. Please.”
“Well”—Charlie shifts a bit, beginning to trace a pattern with the tips of his fingers up Thomas’s arm to his shoulder and back down again—“I’d been there about thirty minutes when you walked in the door. I was sitting at a table in the corner, talkin’ to some boys I had met once before. You looked scared and excited all at once, and I just knew it was your first time. I watched the way you just stood there, gawking at all the other men, ’til finally you wised up and closed that big fly trap of yours,” he teases, and Thomas gently bumps their foreheads together. “Then ya made your way over to the bar and took your hat off.”
Thomas smiles and squeezes Charlie’s ass—this is his favorite part of the story.
“I already thought you were handsome, but once I saw that red hair and got a good look at your sweet face, I was gone. But I was worried ya wouldn’t like me. I was shaking in my shoes the whole time.”
“But you seemed so confident and at ease.”
“All an act. I wanted you so badly. I’d never danced before that night, but I took ya for the dancing type and I guess I was right. If I remember correctly, you got a little excited.”
Thomas lightly slaps Charlie’s ass this time. “Stop teasing! I’d never danced with a man before. Let alone someone as handsome as you.”
“Yeah well, that hardness in your pocket gave me the courage to ask ya to take a walk with me. It really was love at first sight.”
“It really was.”
“Like we were meant to be.”
“Fated, like soulmates,” Thomas says, eyes fluttering closed.
Charlie pulls up the blanket that’s pooled at their feet, their bodies cooled now after their lovemaking. “That’s why I never felt whole ’til I met you, I guess.”
“I’m your other half,” he agrees, smiling.
“Don’t fall asleep,” Charlie murmurs, gently shaking Thomas’s shoulder.
“I won’t. I’m just resting my eyes.”
“Okay. I love you.”
“Love you . . . too . . .”
