Page 56 of A Duke to Undo her
The blond man was now at the small sideboard where a line of clean glasses stood, pouring a good measure of brandy into two and presenting one to Cassius.
What Benedict said was true, and the duke could neither deny these words nor criticize his brother for making them. There was simply no way to explain either to his mother or his brother how sore his heart was and how hard he was finding it to live through each day without Lady Josephine Thomson and no hope of ever having her.
“I’ve already told Mother, and would have told you sooner if I could,” Benedict said without any preamble as they sat down on the sofa by the window together with their brandy. “I proposed to Lady Josephine on Tuesday and she immediately rejected me.”
Thunderstruck, Cassius almost spat out his brandy with the force of the reaction that passed through his body at this casually expressed revelation. He coughed and spluttered as some of thedrink went down the wrong way, causing Benedict to stand and slap him on the back.
“That’s rather how Mother reacted too,” he observed. “Since you were the originator and the cause of the proposal, I didn’t expect you to be as shocked.”
Cassius tried to speak but only a croak emerged from his throat and Benedict went to the sideboard to fetch him water.
“I had no idea you might have done that,” Cassius admitted after a gulp of water. “You did not seem taken with the idea last time we spoke.”
“I did it to spite you, Cassius,” his younger brother confessed, his voice more serious now. “I did it in hope of escaping from you. I am the greatest fool in the world and I am grateful that Lady Josephine dealt with such silly addresses with such understanding.”
“Benedict…” Cassius groaned, seeing very clearly now what had happened after their argument at the dinner table on the night in question. “I should have known that I was driving you away, driving you to…this. I didn’t realize what I was doing.”
His brother shrugged.
“I am a grown man and should know better than to listen to you when I know you’re wrong, Cassius, even if I’m reacting against you instead of obeying you. Lady Josephine pointed out theobvious – I am not in love with her and she is not in love with me. I should never have let you put the idea in my head.”
“No,” Cassius agreed, downcast, guilty and overwhelmingly relieved. “So, is that what you wished to tell me over this fine brandy?”
“Partly. I also wished to tell you that I will never listen to you again on the subject of marriage. Feelings matter to me, even if they don’t to you. Love matters. This is something else that Lady Josephine has made clear in my mind. When I marry, it will be to a woman who loves me, and whom I love in return. I will accept no interference.”
“Josephine…” Cassius murmured, feeling as though he could hear her voice speaking through Benedict.
“Do you agree not to interfere further on the question of my marriage, whenever it occurs?” his younger brother persisted, thankfully not noticing where Cassius’ attention had become stuck.
“I do,” accepted the duke after a few further moments thought. “Within reason. You must find your own wife and I will support you, barring only women with traits of criminality, insanity or dipsomania… But not all you say is true, Benedict. I am only a man. I do…feel, and it does matter to me. Sometimes I feel a great deal, even if I cannot show it.”
“Well then, you too may one day fall in love, and I shall support you when you do. Can you imagine how happy Mother would be to see us both well-married?”
Cassius looked away and then took a sip of brandy, not willing to risk going any further along that road with Benedict and accidentally revealing feelings that were best hidden forever.
“How is Mother?” the duke asked instead. “I will come to breakfast tomorrow. Perhaps you should take her back to town with you after that, Benedict. I’m sure she must be bored out here when she could be attending concerts and musical evenings with friends in London...”
The study door opened again, this time without any knocking and Nerissa Emerton’s smiling face looked over to them, as though summoned by their change of conversation.
“I heard your voices and thought I would join you. You have been so busy recently, Cassius, and I must take my chance to catch you while I can. But you are not having a private conversation, are you? I do not want to interrupt.”
“Cassius was just trying to convince me that you and I should return to London and leave him to haunt this old place alone in his present foul and lonely mood,” Benedict announced blithely, drinking the last of his brandy and getting to his feet.
“You are a pest, Benedict,” Cassius pronounced, irked but only in an affectionate way, and this mild reproof seeming to haveno effect on his younger brother in any case. “You willfully misinterpret my words and intention.”
“You must be the one to talk him out of it, Mother, for Cassius has already acknowledged me right once tonight, and I won’t risk another throw of the dice. I am going to bed.”
Kissing his mother’s cheek, Benedict left the room, humming a tune to himself under his breath.
When they were alone, Nerissa turned to Cassius with an expression of sober compassion and intent.
“Benedict told you what he did in London, I suppose?” she asked and the duke nodded wordlessly.
“I was very glad to hear that Lady Josephine would not entertain such silly ideas and declined him at once,” the dowager duchess observed circumspectly, watching her older son’s face as she spoke.
“She is…” Cassius began but his words failed him.
Josephine was so many things to him and he could admit none of them to his mother.
