Page 12 of Falling for Autumn
“Sure, you can do that, but you don’t know where my things are situated.”
“I’ll figure it out. I really don’t mind.”
“Sure. I’ll be in the nursery. Just knock when you’re done.”
October nodded and smiled at me as I headed into the nursery to feed Auburn. Prior to turning it into her nursery, it had been my office. It was the place where I worked on my MixTube videos and other business for my channel.
Now, I did those things in my bedroom. My father had moved my desk into my bedroom, and we had transitioned my office into Auburn’s nursery.
I laid Auburn down and prepared to feed her. “It’s okay, sweet mama.” I cooed as she cried. Once I was prepared to feed her, I lifted her into my arms and sat in the rocker with her.
She whimpered a little, but once she was fastened to my breast, she settled in pretty well. I dragged my finger down the curve of her cheek and kissed the top of her head. “I love you so much. You’re the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. My love for you makes my heart want to explode.”
A tear fell down my cheek as her little plump jaws moved slowly up and down. Wilson had no idea what he was missing out on, but it was his loss. It hurt my heart that she wouldn’t have her father in her life. I believed every child deserved to have one.
She drifted off to sleep after she finished feeding. A soft knock sounded at the door.
“Come in,” I called after covering myself.
Hesitantly, October peered inside before he walked into the room.
“She’s asleep?” he whispered.
“Yeah.”
“She’s a blessing.”
“I’m thankful for her.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, do you have a support system . . . outside of your family, I mean?” he asked when he sat in the armchair opposite me.
“If you’re asking about her father, then no.”
“I can’t imagine why a man wouldn’t want to be in her life, or any child’s life.”
I told him the story of how I met Wilson up to the day that I learned he was married with a son.
“Is that the day I saw you coming home?”
“Yes.”
“Does he know about her?”
“Yeah,” I replied softly, thinking back to the day I gave in and called Wilson. “I wasn’t going to tell him, but I knew that wasn’t fair to him or our child. He called me a few days after the incident, and I ignored his call. He kept calling and texting his apologies and regrets on my phone. It wasn’t until I had gone to the doctor and confirmed that I was nine weeks pregnant that I finally gave in and called him.”
“Baby, I swear that we’re getting a divorce. I don’t love her, and I haven’t for a long time. The only reason that we’re still married is because of my son. Please don’t give up on our love, Mesha. I love you, girl. Just give me another chance, and I swear that I won’t disappoint you.”
“Love doesn’t hurt, Wilson. You hurt me so badly that night, not to mention how you humiliated me. She was on her phone calling me every name in the book, and not once did you take up for me as your girlfriend. In fact, you denied me. Do you not know how badly that hurt?”
“Listen, I know that I wasn’t at my best that night. I was caught off guard by her appearance. Not to mention, she pulled that bullshit by bringing my son down there. That was foul, and I let her know that later.”
“You left with her, Wilson, and left me behind. Not once did you concern yourself with how I would get home or anything. You must still love her.”
“Baby, I don’t. We’ve been going through problems for a while. That’s why I stepped outside of the marriage.”
“You should’ve handled your shit before you involved someone else in it, Wilson. Did you ever consider my feelings? No! You were involved with me for nine whole months without uttering a single word about a damn wife or son. How could you? You didn’t even claim your child, Wilson. That’s how I know you won’t be shit for me. It shouldn’t have surprised me that you didn’t claim me that night if you hadn’t even told me about your child.”
“I told you I fucked up. I was just messed up in the head with what was going on.”
