Page 64 of Falling for Autumn
“No, I don’t. You can’t tell that girl no for the life of you.”
I laughed. “She’s my everything.”
His hand slowed, and he smirked at me. “Thought I was your everything.”
“You and she are my everything. How about that?”
October’s hand moved up to massage my calf, and I closed my eyes again. “Mmm. Right there, baby. Keep it right there.”
“Your horny ass is pissing me off.”
“I’m not horny, and how am I pissing you off?”
“Because you’re sitting here moaning and shit the way you do when I’m inside you. The only problem is, I’m not inside of you. It’s making me jealous that you sound the same when I’m massaging you as you do when I’m giving them damn back shots.”
“No, I don’t,” I replied with a yawn as I stretched. I stared at him, thinking about what happened a few nights ago. October had been so quiet since that night, and my heart broke for him. As much as he needed to stand by his guns, I knew that he wanted to make things right with his family.
“What’s on your mind, Autumn?” he asked after several minutes.
“This past weekend.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, baby.”
“I know that you don’t want to, but you need to. Your dad has been calling you and so has your sister. You haven’t been taking their calls, and now you’re hiding out at my house to make sure that they don’t catch you at home alone.”
“Is this your way of telling me that you want me to go home?”
I pulled my foot out of his hand and sat up on the couch. Cuddling up to him, I rested my head on his shoulder and wrapped my hands around his bicep. “No, October. I don’t want you to go home. I just want you to make peace with your family. You need to have happiness in your life and be free from your past.”
“I guess you think I’m still hurting over TJ too?”
“No. I know better than that. In fact, if your ass is hurting over TJ, then I’m about to knock some sense into you. You’d better not be worrying about any other woman other than me.”
“Then what is the problem?”
“It’s the fact that I know that family means so much to you. I look at the way that you are about me, my family, and Reuben and the others. You care about everything and take such good care of everyone. But there’s still a huge part of you that’s missing, and that part is your dad and your brother.”
“I’m not missing out on my dad.”
“Yes, you are. Before this incident occurred, you spoke with your sister every other day. After the incident, you haven’t spoken with her once. You might have a strained relationship with your father, but you talked to that man at least twice a week. Now you’re not taking his calls. I don’t know what it was like when you had your brother in your life, but Sarai told me that the two of you were close at one point.
“She said, although you were always cleaning up his messes, y’all were still close. I cannot imagine how devastating that incident had to be. I can only imagine that it hurt you deeply, and despite his drug use, you still had him in your life at one point until he screwed things up.”
I shifted when October lifted his arms and threw his hands on top of his head. He growled through gritted teeth.
“Talk to me, baby.”
“You see how I am about Auburn. She’s my sunshine. I have been in her life since she entered the world, and while I didn’t have that same daily interaction with Empiria, she was my daughter for four years. Even when I was locked up, my dad and sister brought her to see me. Whenever I called TJ, I spoke with her on each call. She was my purpose and what kept me going while I was locked inside.
“I was angry at what TJ and my brother had done to me. They betrayed me, I got locked up behind their lies, and they ran with that shit. But she was my sole purpose. I believed in my baby, and all I could think about was what I would do for her when I got on the other side. I thought about the time I would spend getting to know her all over again. I’m telling you . . . she was my reason,” he declared.
“I couldn’t have made it through that bid without her. Having that shit snatched out of my life like that destroyed me, Autumn. It made me realize that those years of my life had all been a lie.”
“I cannot imagine how you felt, but I know that had to be hard for you, baby.”
“It was.”
“But it seems as if you’ve forgiven her over your brother. You will talk to her, but you won’t give him the time of day.”
