Page 53 of That First Night
“I am so fucked,” I repeat back, still staring at the entrance of the kitchen.
* * *
The day goes surprisingly well, despite my nerves over all of it. I think it was the tequila and whiskey that I always keep in stock now. Once Peyton moved in, I made sure to always have tequila on hand. I learned early on that it’s her favorite drink when she’s happy, when she’s stressed, or on Tuesdays with tacos. Tequila to Peyton is like whiskey to me.
Everyone has gone home, and Peyton is upstairs putting James to bed. He specifically requested she put him to bed because they are thebestest friends. Watching the two of them interact all day only solidifies the fact that she is the perfect nanny for him. She is so patient with him, which is what he needs.
Logan actually behaved himself today, which was shocking. Thankfully, he didn’t seem too interested in her friends.Thank fuck. I don’t need him getting tangled up with them or anyone close to Peyton because I don’t know what is happening with us.
I could tell Avery is developing athingfor Marc though. That girl holds nothing back and I’m sure the tequila helped her loosen up. If I didn’t know any better, I would think she was trying to flirt with Marc, and he was shutting it down every chance he could since she now works for him. The two are complete opposites of each other and she isnothis type. Avery is a wrecking ball and Marc is looking for a wife to settle down with. I really don’t see that blossoming into anything serious. Another,thank fuck.
I feel my chest tighten when I think about Peyton today. She moved through the apartment and interacted with my brother and Logan as if she’s done it for years. As if she’s not just a nanny in this house. As if she’s something more. Andfuck mewatching her watch football. She’s a Giants fan, which only gives her bonus points in my book. The highlight of the day was when she gave Logan shit about the Cowboys, even though we lost to them 40-6. She just has this natural carefree way about her where she fits into any situation and makes the most of it.
I must have been completely zoned out staring at the blank TV when I feel the couch dip to my left.
“He’s all tucked in,” Peyton says in a tone barely above a whisper. I turn my gaze from the blank screen to her. Her head is tipped down and she’s tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She is without a doubt the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Why do I melt into a puddle of mush whenever she’s around? I’m not a fucking mushy dude.
“I didn’t get a chance to ask earlier, but how was your weekend off?”
“It was okay,” she says with a frown. “I went to visit my Gigi. She’s been sick, so I've been trying to visit her whenever I’m off.”
Damn, I had no idea.
“You know, if you ever need to see her during the week, just let me know.”
“I was actually going to ask you about that.” She twirls her hair nervously.
“Anything you want, Peyton. Consider it done.” I don’t know what makes me say that but at this point, she could ask me to buy her the largest skyscraper in the city, and I would give it to her.
“Thank you.” She smiles. “It’s just about the car. I know it's for me to take James wherever he needs to go, but I wanted to know if it was okay if I take it to go see Gigi tomorrow while James is in school. The bus isn’t the fastest mode of transportation,” she huffs out a laugh. “I’m afraid I wouldn’t be back in—”
“Peyton,” I cut her off. “Of course you can take the car. Have you been taking the bus this whole time?”
“Well… sort of.”
“Peyton.” I pinch my eyebrows together to give her a stern look. “I told you to use it. I gave you the keys for a reason. Ido notwant you riding the bus again. Do you understand?”
She nods. “I really appreciate that, Thomas.”
“One problem,” I pause. “James is off school tomorrow. For what reason? I can’t tell you because I don’t know. I swear this school has the most random days off.”
“Shit,” she murmurs under her breath and a look of disappointment flashes across her face.
“But why don’t you take him with you,” I offer. “James can make anyone feel better and put a smile on their face.”
“You’re not wrong.” She laughs. “James really can turn someone's day around. I wish his funny personality could cure cancer. But at least it can make her day a little brighter.”
I had no clue about any of this and I feel a stab in my chest at her admission. I’ve heard her on the phone with her grandma often. I know she cares about her a lot and she’s an important person in Peyton’s life.I’m going to make a mental note to shoot Eddy a text later to drop a care package off to her first thing in the morning.
“I’m so sorry, Peyton.”
“Don’t be. She’s the strongest fighter I know. She’s going to beat this a second time,” she says with a soft smile. “She’s going to be really happy to finally meet James.”
I nod. The thought of her talking to her about my son makes my heart skip a couple beats. I remain silent because I need to collect my thoughts. Finally, I ask, “D-do you want to watch a movie?” I don’t know what makes me think to ask her that. It’s late and I’m sure she’s exhausted from a long day.
She pauses for a moment to lift her head and look me in the eyes. She’s sitting with her legs tucked under her and her arm draped over the back of the couch. She’s a good distance away from me. “What do you have in mind?” she asks.
“What kind of movies do you like?”
