Page 121 of Rivals
She tilts her head back in the cage of my arms. A tear slips from her eyes, and I wipe it away, smearing mascara. “Is that a good tear or a bad tear?” I ask her.
She smiles softly. “A good tear, one that shows up when you do that,” she says quietly. I chuckle and kiss the top of her head.
“I love you…more than life itself.”
She studied me for a second, searching my face before saying, “I’ve never loved anyone before, but I love you more than I ever thought was possible. I didn’t know I had the capacity for it.” I slide my hand to her neck and kiss her hard while I tilt her head back to give me more access. It’s not slow or sweet. It’s branding. It’s forever. I finally pull away, and she glows in my arms. All I want to do is bask in it.
“What happens when we go back to New York?” Her eyes search mine. I twirl a piece of her hair around my finger before I look.
“I don’t know. But we will figure it out together, ok?”
She nods and tucks her head back into my chest. Part of me feels like the future is beginning to look a lot brighter now. I got to a point where I didn’t look further than today. There was no point. It’s been all I could do to just get through each day.
Now, with Revna, I can see a future for us where life isn’t just full of pain. I hope we can keep moving forward when we get back to NYC. Going home also means going back to the lives we were living and facing them as new versions of ourselves.
Part 3
You loved me even when I
smelled of ashes and blood.
Chapter 72
Revna
Time keeps following me holding a gun to the back of my head until it decides to pull the trigger.
Lachlanrollsoursuitcasesto the elevator of his building and we ride up in silence. I think I could sleep for fifty years. I’m so tired. I feel stupid thinking it, but I feel like a new woman, yet I’m not. Reality is beginning to sink back in. I have to call Betty and get back on the rotation. My sublet is up soon, and I’ll have to go back to paying rent.
Real life may be heavier to accept right now, but it’s easier to bear because I have a man who loves me, and I’m in awe that I love him back. He’s said it so many times I’ve lost count. I want him to keep saying it continually so I don’t forget. But the heavier part of reality is the fear of failure, of failing him. I’m afraid to mess up the only love I’ve ever had that is wholeheartedly worth keeping.
The elevator dings, bringing me out of my thoughts, and Lachlan wheels our luggage to his door. Lachlan unlocks it and holds it open for me to go first. It smells like we left it, a tinge of paint and art supplies, and a little stale. I crack the window and let some fresh air in.
“I’m hungry, are you?” I shrug at Lachlan. “Cool, that’s an answer. I’ll order some food.”
“Alright, I’m going to get a shower.” He nods, and I strip my nasty airport clothes off and walk into the bathroom. Hopefully, something clean is still in this apartment, or there will be a problem.
I step under the warm water, and my muscles immediately relax. My stomach grumbles, and I ignore it, grabbing some of Lachlan’s shampoo and massaging it into my scalp. I kind of thought that I would get tired of him just because we’d spent every waking minute together. But to my surprise, I love being around him constantly. It is yet another new thing for me to take in and learn to adjust with. There have been many of those lately, and I’m worried I won’t be able to handle them all.
The shower door opens, and his hands slide around my ribs, pressing his chest tightly against my back to share the water. I finish with my hair and turn around to rinse it out. His hands disappear from my skin, and I open my eyes to see where he went, and then soap runs into my eyes. “Ow,” I mumble to myself and turn around to rinse it out.
“Just can’t keep your eyes off me, can you, muse?” He says from across the shower. My eye burns a little after I manage to wash the soap out of it and my hair. He’s got a smug grin on his face, and I shoot him a glare.
He chuckles, and we naturally switch places. I wash my body while he washes his hair. “You know…” Lachlan trails off. His head is tipped under the water, and my eyes trace every shadow and line. I know his body very well, but he is my favorite piece of art. I always find something new to study. I notice a scar over his right rib, the curve of his black ink mostly on his arm, the hands from the Sistine Chapel cross over his chest, and a few smaller sticker tattoos on his sides, with one on his hand. There is a set of black feathers on the other side of his ribs and a butterfly below it.
He opens his eyes, and we switch places again. “I’m still waiting for you to finish your sentence,” I mumble while rinsing the soap off my body.
“You know, I enjoy coming home with you. I like…that I’m not here by myself.”
I smile and look down so he doesn’t see how good that makes me feel. “Let me have it,” he says.
My smile drops, and I look up, wondering what he’s talking about. I hand him the soap, and he shakes his head. He grips my chin, so I’m facing him. “Let me have that smile, Revna. I want it. I earned it,” he says. The water suddenly feels too hot, and I look away.
“Baby, it’s ok to like coming home with me, too. I thought you would grab your stuff and run because you were tired of me.” I shake my head in his hold, and he dips his head down so we’re eye to eye.
“I love you, little bird.” And those five words give him the smile he asked for. He beams back and lays his forehead against mine.
“I love you, too,” I rasp like my mouth is still getting used to shaping the words. I’ve never used them in this order before.
