Page 143 of Rivals
“It won’t solve anything, we just need to keep going.” What I’m not saying is I’ll find some OBA and maybe take three, which will make this mess stop.
“Ok,” he says and rolls himself out of bed. His posture is sunk, and his steps are slow like they take extra effort.
He goes into the bathroom and I find my stash and pop two pills. If that doesn’t work I’ll take one more. Or maybe I’ll get lucky and it will stop my heart. It’s not like the drug is tested by the FDA. Who knows what too much of it would do?
I get the coffee maker going and get my paint overalls on with a sports bra I found in a drawer. I get to work on sketching another panel. I was able to finish the drugs one. It was easy, and it’s one I know well.
Lachlan was working on what was supposed to go all the way at the other end, ‘our first kiss.’ It was angry, messy, and passionate. He has what looks like two people with their tongues basically down each other’s throats and that’s about it, which seems relatively straightforward. I tilt my head to look at it differently.
“My idea is for it is two statues kissing,” he mumbles around his mug and holds out mine. I thank him and take a long, hot, burning sip of the bean juice. I grimace at the burn yet simultaneously welcome it.
I reach for the Italy panel and think I want to do an almost bright and happy Gothic cathedral. Our time there was full of some harsh realizations and experiences, I never thought I would be able to share with someone. It was the first time I told Lachlan or anyone I loved him. The colors should be happy.
Lachlan starts on the panel that is supposed to be reminiscent of our first time together. I’m not sure how he will do that one because the charcoal drawings of me and those moments would be beyond embarrassing. It has nothing to do with naked bodies; those are all over art. But I’m more concerned about how Lachlan would show what is only meant for us. But I don’t say anything, maybe he will surprise me.
I sketch a little and pause between drinking my coffee. I’ve been working on the general shape of the building forever, and I can’t seem to move past it. “Are you alright?” Lachlan asks from the other side of the floor. I sigh and toss my pencil on the paper. He looks up at me and the look in his eyes makes me feel like he knows what I’m doing even though I’ve been good at hiding it.
“There’s just…there’s nothing there. It all feels like a chore and I don’t know what to do.” I say quickly. I just want to go to sleep. Maybe the break with sleep will help me. I rub my chest and Lachlan scoots over to me with his page.
“I’m kind of stuck, too,” he mumbles.
“Doesn’t it just suck all the drive from you? I’m just so numb to it. Iwantto do it mentally, but that’s where it ends. I would rather sleep.“ He nods absently. “I don’t know what to do.” He throws me a look then back down at his page.
“I don’t either.” I stare at what he has so far and it’s not much of anything. There is no general outline of a human, but there is a consistent pattern that starts at the top of the page. He slides his pencil behind his ear and kisses my temple. I lean into the way his lips feel.
“I want to feel something different; I don’t want to feel numb,” I whisper as his lips pepper kisses down my jaw to my neck. I missed his lips. He stops and grabs my chin so we’re nose to nose. He searches my eyes and licks his lips. My gaze drops down to his mouth, and I want him to do it again so I can taste it.
“I just want to feelyou,“ he whispers and crashes his lips to mine. Teeth clash, and my bones shake with need as he possessively claims me. His hands, his touch, make me feel euphoric. I grip his t-shirt and hold on as the darkness melts away with his love for me.
“Lach,” I gasp. He growls into my neck and pushes me down onto the floor. Bracing himself above me, he leans down, running his tongue up the column of my neck. My back arches with the motion and I want more.
His hand skims under the straps of my overalls and he unclips them in a smooth motion. The straps fall from my shoulders, and the sports bra suddenly feels too confining. Lachlan helps by yanking it off and tossing it to the side.
With both hands, I grip the sides of his neck and pull him to my mouth, kissing him with a fierce abandon. He groans and grabs my breast with one hand, and pinches me. I yelp, and he smiles against my lips, then drops his mouth to my chest. I look down, and his eyes look up as he laves his tongue against my skin. Then he switches to the other and my head falls back, overwhelmed by the sensation. By all the things I feel thatisn’tnumbness or dread. It’s elation, peace, want andneed.
He pulls away and sits back on his heels to pull my overalls down the rest of my body. I lift my hips to help him and he still struggles to get them off. “I love seeing you wear these, but they are not for easy access,” he grunts.
I smile and he shakes his head as he pulls the last pant leg from my body. I sit up and reach for his shirt as he pulls it over his head, tossing it to the side. He gathers me to his chest so I’m in his lap. We’re chest to chest and I relish in the direct contact.
My mind calms and my heart doesn’t feel so heavy. All I feel is him. All I want is him. I grip him in his jeans and he groans against my mouth as he nibbles my lower lip. “You feel so good, love,” he says while his hands drag up and down my spine. The lazy caress makes my skin quiver beneath his graze.
I massage my hands around his neck and kiss his bearded jaw, reveling in the scratch against my skin. I search for his lips and yelp in surprise as he stands with me in his arms. Heat gathers in my core, and his eyes flare while he carries us to bed. He tosses me onto the mattress like I weigh nothing and groans at me, sprawled across the pillows. I lift my elbows and he tugs on my ankle, dragging me to the edge of the bed.
“Make up your mind, Lach. Where do you want me?” I say, a little exasperated and a whole lot of needy. Both of his large palms come to the inside of my thighs and push me open. He gets on his knees and my breathing picks up.
Then he runs his nose and beard up and down the thin skin of my inner thighs. My brain goes fuzzy, and I go limp. “I want you everywhere, love. I don’t want to know where you end and I begin.” I whimper at that and he drags my underwear over my thighs, baring me to him completely.
He groans and flicks his tongue. My knees slam together, and he chuckles, pushing them apart again. A thrill tingles down my spine and I gasp at the sensation as he kisses each knee slowly. The throb is becoming unbearable and he seems to recognize that as he uses his fingers to throw me up the mountain. He stands so his face is above mine, and he sweeps his tongue against my lips, inhaling me until I cry against his mouth, and he swallows every bit of it. “That’s it, love,” he whispers. My legs shake and I dig my nails into his shoulders. He grunts while I hold on. He works me until I swear I’m about to pass out, then finally relents. Sharp breaths heave in and out of my chest and he rests his body against mine while he kisses my skin.
“I love you, Revna,” he says into my skin, making it prickle.
“I love you, too,” I say with my eyes still closed. He lifts his head from my chest.
“Open your eyes,” he commands; I obey him instantly. “Look me in the eye and say it again.”
“I love you, Lachlan,” he groans and slams his mouth against mine. Our slow and languid kiss turns messy and desperate. He grabs my knee, and rams into me. I scream and my eyes slam close as I adjust to him. He stills for a minute, then slowly moves against me.
He grunts with the movement. I feel so full, so right. The clouds have cleared so the sun can shine. “Baby, open your eyes.” I lift them slowly. His half-lidded gaze makes me clench and he groans roughly.
