“Hi,” I mumble back.
“You look nice,” he says, his eyes trail up and down my body. There was a day when I thought Joshua and I could be something. We randomly met and then decided to share an apartment, but we are from very different worlds. He’s getting his Ph.D. in physics. He’s cute, in a nerdy way, though.
“Thanks.”
“Are you ok, Revna?” I shrug. He’s always been kind to me.
“Yeah, I will be,” I say and go to my room.
I stare at my meager space and the few belongings I have. I don’t want to be here, either. I take off my dress and makeup, pack a bag, grab a few school things, and head out the door. Joshua’s door is closed, so I make sure to lock the front door behind me.
I know where I’m going. It’s like I’m being pulled because part of me begs to be in his presence, and that unsettles me. It’s not normal. Logically, I know I should break this off, take the consequences, find a new place to live, and start all over. If I lost all my hard work and got kicked out, nothing would keep me here. The beach sounds good. Beach landscapes bore me, but hearing the ocean when I sleep could be nice. It sounds peaceful.
It’s what Ishoulddo.
Chapter 23
Revna
Iringhisbuzzerinstead of calling him. I hold it, and it beeps with no response. Maybe he’s not home.
“Hello?” His groggy voice tells me he was asleep.
“Lachlan, I—“
“Revna?”
“Yeah, it’s me. I—“ The door clicks to let me in, and I go to the elevator. He won this time. Ryan’s words keep playing on repeat in my head.He’s not good for you. He will hurt you.There is one thing that Ryan missed. I could hurt Lachlan, too. I may be a sad, tortured artist to him, but everything I touch turns to ash. Ryan made me smile, but I won’t go back to him, even if I wanted to. Even if for one little second I thought that I could have a relationship with him.
But I didn’t feel that thing deep in my gut like I do with Lachlan, despite the fact I don’t actually want him. This isn’t going to go anywhere. If anything, it told me that I needed to stay far away from Ryan, just as I suspected. So, I will uphold my end of this deal, graduate, hopefully, get into the MoMA, and move on.
Lachlan’s door swings open. He rubs his eyes, his hair is all over the place, and he’s shirtless with his jeans still on. He must have come home right after the bar and crashed. “You came,” he says, sleep still clogging his voice.
“Like I had a choice,” I snap, brushing past him. His place is a mess, but it doesn’t bother me. It makes me feel more at home.
“You did have a choice, Revna, and it would appear that you chose correctly.” I roll my eyes even though he can’t see it since my back is to him.
“Roll your eyes at me again, and I’ll give you a better reason to next time.” I start to turn and stop myself. How did he know I rolled my eyes?
He walks past me and into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. “Do you want to get started now? I woke you up. I can come back later.” He guzzles his water and stares at me, looking at my bag hanging over my shoulder, my hood up over my hair.
“It’s too late for you to be out by yourself. You should have called me; I would have walked you.”
I scoff. “I can handle myself, Lachlan.”
I spot plastic wrap around his forearm. I can’t tell what it is, but I’m curious. “New ink?”
He glances at it and fills his glass again. “Yep.”
“Not that it’s my business, but how do you afford all of this ink and barely buy food?”
“You’re right. It’s not your business, but I’m a tattoo artist. That’s how I keep the lights on.”
I lick my lips. Duh, I should have put that together. He has several sticker tattoos on one arm, a few dotting his ribs, and then a cohesive design beginning on his other arm. The hands of Adam and God reaching for each other from the Sistine Chapel crosses his chest. It’s beautiful. I spotted it the other night but forced myself not to stare. Lachlan is becoming more and more interesting to me as time goes on.
“Oh.” Lachlan stares at me a little longer.
“Yep, are you ready to get started?” he asks me. I don’t regret coming here, but I realize I should have come here with a plan. Hesitation rattles my brain, and I don’t know what to do.