Page 108 of Rivals
He leads the way to what looks like a hole in the wall, but music bumps out of it, and LED lights flash around the entrance. He pays the cover charge, and a blast of balmy air hits me in the face, immediately making me sweat. Lachlan looks behind him with a worried look still on his face, leading me straight to the dance floor.
I doubt this will work, but it’s worth a shot. He pulls me to his front and lifts my arms around his neck. Resting his hands on my hips, we sway to the beat. We get closer and closer until his thigh is almost between my legs.
I relax a little, listening to the pounding in my ears and beat on my chest, and let the music take me away. Lachlan slides his hands up a little further around my ribs, grazing the edges of my breasts and sending shivers down my spine despite the heat.
My eyes open slowly and he’s grinning from ear to ear. I love that I belong to him. I try to focus on that as much as I can instead of anything else because the rest of my life is too much to handle. The fear of losing and not making it to the end is about to send me over the edge. I know I’m trying to ignore all the feelings involved with my mom. I tried to leave them in New York, but they followed me, and I wanted to slam my head against the wall because of it, or maybe I’ll tear my heart out so it won’t hurt so bad.
He leans in, capturing my mouth. His tongue glides against the seam of my lips, and I open for him. My heart pumps harder as he devours me like he will never get enough, and I lean into it. It’s messy, hot, and tinged with lust as he siphons the air from my lungs.
Then he spins me around so my back is to his front, and we continue to sway among the tightly packed crowd. His hands press against the button of my jeans, and the other slides up right below where my bra ends. I lift my arms to his neck, and he tucks his nose into mine. My heart beats rapidly in my chest, and I want it to be pounding just for Lachlan, nothing and no one else. I want it to be because I want him. Every second I spend with him is a second I’m grateful for. It’s a second I’ve never experienced before because it’s with him, because of him.
I lay my head back on his chest and drop my arms, placing my hands over his on my abdomen. I feel his hot breath on my ear. “Are you ok? Is it better?” I shake my head and keep my eyes closed.
This is a nightclub. I’m sure someone hassomethingin here that would make it stop. I wonder if he put that together. Knowing him, he did, and he’s hoping I don’t look too hard. It would numb me enough so we can keep working, or maybe I can just breathe before it wears off because this isn’t working. I glance at the bar; I could just get blackout drunk. But I’ve never cared for hangovers. I’m an addict, but booze is never usually my go-to. Maybe it should be tonight. “Drink,” I yell, looking up at Lachlan. He nods and paves a path for us to the bar. He orders us some drinks, and I don’t care what he gets. I’ll hold my nose and toss it back. While we waited for our drinks, I looked for the signs of a dealer. They usually hang out in corners, and people want to be around them. Or they have short conversations with people and then quickly walk away. There are cruddy booths off to the side of the dance floor, and I look up and down the row. I don’t spot anything. Lachlan hands me my drink and I toss it back.
“Whoa there, tiger,” he says into my ear. I shrug and keep looking. As I’m about to give up, I spot a guy talking to a girl. He doesn’t look like he’s that into her. He speaks in her ear, and his hand subtly passes between them and then drops. She doesn’t smile, and she doesn’t kiss his cheek. They aren’t friends. The man looks around the club, and his eyes land on me. I make eye contact and pull out of Lachlan’s hold. “Hey, where are you going?”
“Bathroom,” I yell. He nods and follows me anyway. I don’t care what he has to say about this. It’s not up for discussion. If he doesn’t like it, he can leave.
I walk up to the man, and I lean in. “How much?” He shrugs.
Lachlan wraps his arm around the front of my chest and leans in. “Are you doing what I think you’re doing?” he asks.
That annoying, burning feeling fills my nose, and I scrunch it to make it dissipate. My heart thuds, and my gut twists because I know I’m about to disappoint him. I nod my head, and he sighs and kisses my temple. I freeze, surprised by his approval, and shake it off.
“Is it X?” I ask him. I can’t tell if he’s Italian or if he speaks English. I pull out my phone to figure out the translation, and he leans forward.
“How much do you want?” He asks with a very American accent.
“Two,” Lachlan says loudly. I glance at him. His jaw is solid, and I know he’s pissed, but he’s standing with me anyway.
“Fifty,” the dealer says. I want to tell him where he can shove his fifty euros, but I don’t because I need it. I pull a couple of euros out of my pocket and shove them in his palm. He looks around, annoyed that I wasn’t as smooth as his last customer. He drops two light blue pills in my hand and a little rolled piece of paper. I slide them in my pocket, and a shot of adrenaline courses through me. These could be bad. This could kill me. I don’t know this man, and I can’t trust him. But I feel like I have no choice.
“Don’t worry. They are direct, clean,” he says.
I stare at him a little longer. Then he surprises me, pulls one out, and tosses it in his mouth. I watch him swallow, and then he opens his mouth roughly so I can see that he didn’t tongue it. Lachlan’s grip on me tightens. “Come on,” he says. I let him pull me away and back towards the dance floor.
I slide the pill out of my pocket and put it on my tongue. Lachlan holds his hand out for his. I hesitate because only one of us should be any level of a druggie or an addict. But who am I to tell him no?
I hand the little blue tablet, and he throws it back, downing the rest of his beer. I watch him set the bottle on another table, and he pulls us back to the dance floor.
We return to the position we left with his hands over my front. I let myself sink into him and wait for it to all fade away. “Together or not at all, little bird. But this is it, no more.”
I can’t bring myself to smile or kiss him. He just took drugs with me because he doesn’t want me to be alone. I am well aware of the realities of his choice. I nod my head, and he kisses my cheek.
It doesn’t take long for the X to kick in. The alcohol probably helped speed up the process. Lachlan spins me a few times, and the lights flashing and strobing everywhere seem to blend with the beat. I sweat a little harder than I was before. When I spin to face Lachlan, he has a dopey look on his face, and he grabs my cheeks, kissing me with raw, wild abandon. I lean into the way his tongue feels against mine, and I suddenly wish we were home.
I grip the edge of his jeans and tug him closer to me. He slides his hands around my body and then down over my backside, squeezing roughly. I moan into his mouth, and it seems to add more fuel to our fire.
The blare of the music flows over my ears, and I feel like I could swim through it. It feels thick and tight. I smile up at Lachlan; his glazed eyes look like bright fireworks exploding in the sky.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know it’s just a trip. I know it won’t last forever, but it feels so nice to feel so good. I feel so good with him. I want him. I need him.
I grab his shoulders, not caring who else is around us, and leap into his arms. He laughs and spins us. A few people give us a wide birth, and others laugh with us. I hug him so tightly I might be choking him.
My teeth find his ear and bite the shell of it. “Take me home, boyfriend.” He leans back and grins. His biceps bulge as he spins me around to ride out of the club on his back.
Fresh air greets us, and I take a deep, clean breath. Lachlan laughs and spins us in circles. I tilt my head back while my hair flies out around me. I giggle, and his hands squeeze my thighs.
